I have been talking to my students much more than I did before. I always thought I had a pretty good relationship with my students, but ever since I have started using more Japanese it has improved even more. In fact with some classes I talk to them rather often, and as such some of my students have been teaching me some BIZZARO words. I was really surprised when some students taught me "ikanzaki", they all told me that it meant "mottainai" or "a waste". So I thought to use it so I would never forget it. So in the next class when a kid was sleeping in my class I told him "ikanzaki", and NO ONE understood, they thought I was making fun of another kid whose name is kanzaki. Ikan, can mean not good, or bad. They thought I was making fun of his name!
So I told the girls who told me this, that I used it, and they all went. "NO! Only this class!" So I thought they made this word up.
Cue in a month later and the word "onigarami". This word means consisting of ogres, so I obviously thought they were insulting me. Especially when a girl told me me and her were onigarami. But EVERYONE knows what it means. When I ask them to explain it to me, they all are like ...............???????????? And then give up.
So I asked some teachers, none of them knew these words. And when hanging out with a bunch of 20 something year olds they also did not know these words. Had these kids just made this stuff up?! Well I decided to check the internet and they are actual words! BOTH OF THEM!!
Ikanzaki does mean a waste, and it can also mean something that is bad. I have no clue on the origin. Onigarami means that you are friends who often talk and play around. So my students aren't fucking with my heads, they just have no idea how to explain the words, and they are teaching me such inside words and new words not everyone has heard of them.
I think it is rather cool that I am now becoming rather cutting edge on this stuff! Go me!
I am working on my SEMESTER LONG PROJECT! I am actually unsure if my students can do this, but I have since convinced myself THEY CAN! And even if they can't I am going to make them do this, even if it kills them! Sadly trying to find 45 boards for 356 kids is a tall order, and I am currently going around schools asking for their discarded cardboard boxes. Go hobo Kristen, I think it will take me awhile to cut the boxes and then tape them back together.
If this project goes well, I will feel very satisfied with my final year, regardless how the next 6 months go. (The project is planned to end in March) I got my students to participate for a speech contest, the first time possibly ever in this school (at least according to the teachers), and one of them actually got second place! I will have gotten my students to learn and be evaluated in a new way. (Via posters and colored pencils and research) And will have gotten some students pen friends, so that their learning of foreign cultures can continue long after I am gone. If I can get my English Club up and running then I will feel on top of the world, but as it is I just hope the other three things will pan out.
Also on another note, I have given up on Alcohol. How long this will last is doubtful, but after a weekend of drinking culminating with a drunken weeknight that led me to stumble home, I have decided enough killing of brain cells. I have drunken enough in my life. Hell when I turned 21 I drank on average 12 drinks almost every night! That went on for almost a year, and even before that I probably drank the equivalent of 10 bottles of vodka when I was younger (if not more o.0). Even though I drank enough to put down a bear, I never really got too sick or hung over, but on Tuesday was I EVER hung over. It was PAINFUL, and my stomach did not recover for DAYS. I still think my mind is a bit fuzzy after that incident.
So with that, I decided to just stop drinking. Granted it is fun, but I've given up enough brain cells to the cause. I want to die a bit young, I do not want to die now.
And if I need to die now, than I hope it is in the fettle position huddled in my sleeping bag from the cold.
2007年12月7日金曜日
Plans
Now that I have decided that I am going home come August, I have decided to become the best ALT I can. Granted I have improved, (I never leave to eat out, I come on time and stay till 5:15 at least 3 times a week, I clean with the students EVERYDAY) there are so many areas I could do better!
My work load has decreased at an insane rate! From the high of 19 classes a week (making 4 distinct lesson plans!) I have dropped down to the abysmal 9 classes a week. As it was, I was semi-content to be bored for two days a week, but now I am making grand plans for next semester. Can you say, semester long project! Oh yeah!
Granted the kids make me sad... a lot. I feel in some ways these kids are better. For example these kids generally understand difference between the words green and greener, and words like far and close, last years did not. Unfortunately, since I use more Japanese this year and some JTE's actually translate A LOT for me, the kids listening skills are WAY down, along with my patience.
Last year I would sit there and slowly talk the kids through EVERY activity, and if they asked me a questions I'd stand there gesturing anything to get them to understand. Now days, I often fall back to the Japanese. Granted I use no grammar and only basic Japanese, but I think I can use even less.
Than again, in other ways this batch of kids have MUCH WORSE English. I am amazed that kids do not know the word, "do". I often get things like, play clean, play study, the generic verb of English is do, not play!
I often see sentences without keys things, like subject, or is. Questions without the key question.
Still we are going to do this semester long project, and if I get sentences like that, then so be it! Regardless I just want them to do something creative. I hope they can have fun while studying about other places, especially when their dreams involve becoming lunch ladies for grade schools.
Another thing I AM going to do, is make my own special classes for Eiken after school. As it is, I usually help about 5 students, but really I am telling them the exact same thing, 3 kids do not have to wait around for an hour just so I can tell him the same thing I told the previous 2.
Hopefully, along with cleaning with the kids, I can eventually get to the point where I will eat with them. Sadly, I hate FIGHTING the other kids for the last kara-age bowl, and waiting in the BIZARRO long line at the cafeteria, thus I have been avoiding it. Maybe I can just segway myself into eating in their classrooms on a rotating basis. My number one fear is, I will be sitting there by myself as the kids are in their own worlds.
I liked Japanese when I was in High School, but I'd be as willing to stick a bottle up my bum as to force all my friends who sat with me at lunch to talk to my Japanese teacher in Japanese for the 45 minutes of peace we had.
And last, I am going to make a pen friends available to all student who wish to obtain one. I have already got one girl signed up, and I am going to ask all my students next week.
Hopefully if the Eiken lessons go well, I will expand this to a full once a week English circle. I;ve attempted this twice, but without a solid base it fails after about 2 go's. Sadly the most convenient time for this in Wednesday, this means I may have to quit Japanese classes.
A lot of people back home may think "Oh, you've been in Japan for 2 years you must be fluent! But, I am not here to learn Japanese, I am here to teach English. I hate that when ever people ask what JET's are here for 90% of the time I get answers like "Grass roots internationalizing", "Letting kids get to see foreigners" "Let kids have fun for an hour a week" We are English Teachers damn it, I am going to teach these kids some English even if it kills me AND them. If we aren't doing things that other Japanese teacher can just do themselves aren't we truly just wastes of money?
The fact that 7 girls from my HORROR class has now switched from saying "See you" to "later" fills me with a sense of accomplishment. The fact that kids now feel comfortable enough to come into the teachers room just to talk to me, makes me feel like I am doing things. Hell, one girl who is just about the worst student in the grade stops me just to chat about how she got caught using her cell phone in school 3 times thus got it taken away, about how she is so cold (I want to tell her stop using the damn thing in class, and if she just stopped rolling up her skirt maybe she'd be less cold). Even if I have to suck it up through lessons where screaming at kids to be quiet take up as much time as activity explanation, and I have students laughing at me more than actually writing something on their papers.
Some people think, I'm going home who cares if I come in late, who cares if I roll out at 10:45, what are they going to do fire me, not re-contract me!? Well I decided I am going to go home, and in the time I have left I want to prove to myself and to the teachers of this school that I was here for a reason, and I did not just waste my time.
I honestly did not come to Japan to teach kids, I came to Japan to improve myself as a person, become fluent in Japanese, and travel. But, now I can only think about helping these kids. Freezing cold, lack of running water and heat be damned, I am going to make the most of these last months the way I think I ought to.
My work load has decreased at an insane rate! From the high of 19 classes a week (making 4 distinct lesson plans!) I have dropped down to the abysmal 9 classes a week. As it was, I was semi-content to be bored for two days a week, but now I am making grand plans for next semester. Can you say, semester long project! Oh yeah!
Granted the kids make me sad... a lot. I feel in some ways these kids are better. For example these kids generally understand difference between the words green and greener, and words like far and close, last years did not. Unfortunately, since I use more Japanese this year and some JTE's actually translate A LOT for me, the kids listening skills are WAY down, along with my patience.
Last year I would sit there and slowly talk the kids through EVERY activity, and if they asked me a questions I'd stand there gesturing anything to get them to understand. Now days, I often fall back to the Japanese. Granted I use no grammar and only basic Japanese, but I think I can use even less.
Than again, in other ways this batch of kids have MUCH WORSE English. I am amazed that kids do not know the word, "do". I often get things like, play clean, play study, the generic verb of English is do, not play!
I often see sentences without keys things, like subject, or is. Questions without the key question.
Still we are going to do this semester long project, and if I get sentences like that, then so be it! Regardless I just want them to do something creative. I hope they can have fun while studying about other places, especially when their dreams involve becoming lunch ladies for grade schools.
Another thing I AM going to do, is make my own special classes for Eiken after school. As it is, I usually help about 5 students, but really I am telling them the exact same thing, 3 kids do not have to wait around for an hour just so I can tell him the same thing I told the previous 2.
Hopefully, along with cleaning with the kids, I can eventually get to the point where I will eat with them. Sadly, I hate FIGHTING the other kids for the last kara-age bowl, and waiting in the BIZARRO long line at the cafeteria, thus I have been avoiding it. Maybe I can just segway myself into eating in their classrooms on a rotating basis. My number one fear is, I will be sitting there by myself as the kids are in their own worlds.
I liked Japanese when I was in High School, but I'd be as willing to stick a bottle up my bum as to force all my friends who sat with me at lunch to talk to my Japanese teacher in Japanese for the 45 minutes of peace we had.
And last, I am going to make a pen friends available to all student who wish to obtain one. I have already got one girl signed up, and I am going to ask all my students next week.
Hopefully if the Eiken lessons go well, I will expand this to a full once a week English circle. I;ve attempted this twice, but without a solid base it fails after about 2 go's. Sadly the most convenient time for this in Wednesday, this means I may have to quit Japanese classes.
A lot of people back home may think "Oh, you've been in Japan for 2 years you must be fluent! But, I am not here to learn Japanese, I am here to teach English. I hate that when ever people ask what JET's are here for 90% of the time I get answers like "Grass roots internationalizing", "Letting kids get to see foreigners" "Let kids have fun for an hour a week" We are English Teachers damn it, I am going to teach these kids some English even if it kills me AND them. If we aren't doing things that other Japanese teacher can just do themselves aren't we truly just wastes of money?
The fact that 7 girls from my HORROR class has now switched from saying "See you" to "later" fills me with a sense of accomplishment. The fact that kids now feel comfortable enough to come into the teachers room just to talk to me, makes me feel like I am doing things. Hell, one girl who is just about the worst student in the grade stops me just to chat about how she got caught using her cell phone in school 3 times thus got it taken away, about how she is so cold (I want to tell her stop using the damn thing in class, and if she just stopped rolling up her skirt maybe she'd be less cold). Even if I have to suck it up through lessons where screaming at kids to be quiet take up as much time as activity explanation, and I have students laughing at me more than actually writing something on their papers.
Some people think, I'm going home who cares if I come in late, who cares if I roll out at 10:45, what are they going to do fire me, not re-contract me!? Well I decided I am going to go home, and in the time I have left I want to prove to myself and to the teachers of this school that I was here for a reason, and I did not just waste my time.
I honestly did not come to Japan to teach kids, I came to Japan to improve myself as a person, become fluent in Japanese, and travel. But, now I can only think about helping these kids. Freezing cold, lack of running water and heat be damned, I am going to make the most of these last months the way I think I ought to.
2007年12月3日月曜日
Decided
Today after another typical day at work I think I've truly decided on what I will do. I am going home, with out a doubt. I have another six months, and knowing that days like these will not be uncommon, I feel I have had enough.
I am just tired of teaching. I do not have that great of a relationship with my other teachers, and there are just too many kids who make this job terrible. Once again kids were teasing me in class, and before class. You'd think after about over a year of it, I'd be pretty used to it..... but no.
It's rather sad as there are a handful of kids who I really like in that class of horror, but the horrible students who just sit there laughing at me the ENTIRE class makes me just want to die. The teacher has no control over the kids, as they often laugh at him to. And though I often try to let the comments slid, I am really just fed up.
I do feel like I have made some progress as that class used to be so bad it was truly painful. I'd dread going in, but now days I've managed to get a few kids to stop talking and try The worse part is that there are good kids there, it's just the strong kids in that class have bad attitudes and the class will generally follow that said mood.
Some kids in that class somehow actually like me, when I told them I may go back in August they told me, no. And when I told them another alt would come, they still told me no. While that was nice the fact that about 7 kids will just make fun of me to my face is horrible. They have even figured out I speak Japanese to some capability, so teasing me in my presence is obviously to get me angry. Of course I don't in front of them, though I wonder what the hell I am supposed to do? I can't really do much but get angry at them, I can't really punish them.
I have asked some kids what they said in front of me once, to which they will then refuse to repeat it. And honestly I do not want to repeat what they said to me. And once they drew an offensive picture of me and then they refused to show it. It was 10 minutes of the actual teacher trying to get it from the student, who then ripped up the paper. That teacher did nothing to punish the student... I guess I am just going to suck it up till the end of the year when I can just finally go home.
On another note, I finished the NaNoWriMo! Woooo!! I started on the 12th, wrote for 5 days in a row, then took a two day break, wrote one more day before actually needing to work, then couldn't write for 7 days! Basically after keeping a pace of about 5,000 words a day, I was up to 30,000 words but I had two days to write 20,000 words! The first day wasn't a big problem as I had few classes, but on Friday I not only had 3 classes, but I had to climb my schools mountain, then go to a welcome party! I basically had 3 hours to write 10,000 words! But through bull shit and crazy I managed it, and finished the story!!!!! Obviously at that clip I am not exactly writing quality but it's.... generally coherent.
I am happy I can still manage to do some really insane things. I am happy that I have not completely forgotten how to write.
On even more notes, winter has finally come and I am nursing a mean cold. I actually had to walk out of class because I could not stop coughing for a FULL THREE MINUTES. I actually walked back in at the half way point only to realize I could still not manage to talk without coughing. Crazy times.
And seeing as this blog has not been really tied together with anyone particular theme, I'm going to go off on something that has been bothering me of late. I've been thinking about my future and though I am doing a lesson on my student's dreams and future job prospects I find it amusing that I myself am still at a complete lose. I often feel this is a result of a childhood where I was constantly told I could do anything, ANYTHING. But given little more guidance on to what factors would be most important in decided what exactly I was going to do.
It seems in America we are given such broad options, and big dreams we often reach for things that are not sensible. You want to be an Astronaut? GREAT! A LAWYER, GREAT! How's about being a little more realistic, parents and teachers of America?
Alternatively in Japan my students have already narrowed their choices so much, I can see why they have a very difficult trying to decide on their future when many teachers have already limited them to a handful of blue collar jobs. I actually had about ten gasoline stand workers, in the section "my dream".
In so many ways I feel that America's you can do anything if you try is misguided as it sets a lot of people up for a bitter reality (I mean seriously 50% drop out rate in college, shouldn't that be a wake up call?) But the alternative that is Japan is so harsh, for kid's at age 15-16 to be SO realistic is quite sobering.
Not that all the kids were completely realistic, I actually had more "rich-girl/rich-man" dreams than gasoline stand worker. But I had NO doctors, although there were about 20 nurses. There was ONE veterinarian, but about 10 pet shop workers. And the most popular future profession/dream: Hair Stylists, and House wife.
I want to tell the students anything is possible, but really, with the class of horror just talking and laughing in their seats, I really had to wonder if they could go for some of the jobs I had written down. And when I saw options such as Gasoline Stand worker, I did not really question them. Have my opinions changed? Have I lost hope for my students? I truly hope not, but I am beginning to see how I have become so jaded in opposition to the system. I always put on a smile but do the students know, I only smile to prevent myself from crying.
I am just tired of teaching. I do not have that great of a relationship with my other teachers, and there are just too many kids who make this job terrible. Once again kids were teasing me in class, and before class. You'd think after about over a year of it, I'd be pretty used to it..... but no.
It's rather sad as there are a handful of kids who I really like in that class of horror, but the horrible students who just sit there laughing at me the ENTIRE class makes me just want to die. The teacher has no control over the kids, as they often laugh at him to. And though I often try to let the comments slid, I am really just fed up.
I do feel like I have made some progress as that class used to be so bad it was truly painful. I'd dread going in, but now days I've managed to get a few kids to stop talking and try The worse part is that there are good kids there, it's just the strong kids in that class have bad attitudes and the class will generally follow that said mood.
Some kids in that class somehow actually like me, when I told them I may go back in August they told me, no. And when I told them another alt would come, they still told me no. While that was nice the fact that about 7 kids will just make fun of me to my face is horrible. They have even figured out I speak Japanese to some capability, so teasing me in my presence is obviously to get me angry. Of course I don't in front of them, though I wonder what the hell I am supposed to do? I can't really do much but get angry at them, I can't really punish them.
I have asked some kids what they said in front of me once, to which they will then refuse to repeat it. And honestly I do not want to repeat what they said to me. And once they drew an offensive picture of me and then they refused to show it. It was 10 minutes of the actual teacher trying to get it from the student, who then ripped up the paper. That teacher did nothing to punish the student... I guess I am just going to suck it up till the end of the year when I can just finally go home.
On another note, I finished the NaNoWriMo! Woooo!! I started on the 12th, wrote for 5 days in a row, then took a two day break, wrote one more day before actually needing to work, then couldn't write for 7 days! Basically after keeping a pace of about 5,000 words a day, I was up to 30,000 words but I had two days to write 20,000 words! The first day wasn't a big problem as I had few classes, but on Friday I not only had 3 classes, but I had to climb my schools mountain, then go to a welcome party! I basically had 3 hours to write 10,000 words! But through bull shit and crazy I managed it, and finished the story!!!!! Obviously at that clip I am not exactly writing quality but it's.... generally coherent.
I am happy I can still manage to do some really insane things. I am happy that I have not completely forgotten how to write.
On even more notes, winter has finally come and I am nursing a mean cold. I actually had to walk out of class because I could not stop coughing for a FULL THREE MINUTES. I actually walked back in at the half way point only to realize I could still not manage to talk without coughing. Crazy times.
And seeing as this blog has not been really tied together with anyone particular theme, I'm going to go off on something that has been bothering me of late. I've been thinking about my future and though I am doing a lesson on my student's dreams and future job prospects I find it amusing that I myself am still at a complete lose. I often feel this is a result of a childhood where I was constantly told I could do anything, ANYTHING. But given little more guidance on to what factors would be most important in decided what exactly I was going to do.
It seems in America we are given such broad options, and big dreams we often reach for things that are not sensible. You want to be an Astronaut? GREAT! A LAWYER, GREAT! How's about being a little more realistic, parents and teachers of America?
Alternatively in Japan my students have already narrowed their choices so much, I can see why they have a very difficult trying to decide on their future when many teachers have already limited them to a handful of blue collar jobs. I actually had about ten gasoline stand workers, in the section "my dream".
In so many ways I feel that America's you can do anything if you try is misguided as it sets a lot of people up for a bitter reality (I mean seriously 50% drop out rate in college, shouldn't that be a wake up call?) But the alternative that is Japan is so harsh, for kid's at age 15-16 to be SO realistic is quite sobering.
Not that all the kids were completely realistic, I actually had more "rich-girl/rich-man" dreams than gasoline stand worker. But I had NO doctors, although there were about 20 nurses. There was ONE veterinarian, but about 10 pet shop workers. And the most popular future profession/dream: Hair Stylists, and House wife.
I want to tell the students anything is possible, but really, with the class of horror just talking and laughing in their seats, I really had to wonder if they could go for some of the jobs I had written down. And when I saw options such as Gasoline Stand worker, I did not really question them. Have my opinions changed? Have I lost hope for my students? I truly hope not, but I am beginning to see how I have become so jaded in opposition to the system. I always put on a smile but do the students know, I only smile to prevent myself from crying.
2007年11月15日木曜日
Ugh...
Normally I write about things concerning Japan, whether it be a normal thing that has become a struggle in Japan, or usually me venting about Japan and my work. But today I will talk about something that has plagued me for a long time, that really doesn't have much to do with Japan other than the fact its happening like it always does, only now I live in Japan.
Ever since I was very young maybe in the 4th grade, so I supposed 9-10 I've been getting painful stomach pains and bloating. It was at the time very infrequent but hideously painful. Often times it would occur when I was attempting to not do my homework, and my mom would always think I was lying. But when I got older around 15 it took a turn for the worse. As I had gone from a rather lazy do nothing kid, to rather athletic, these painful stomach aches turned into combination painful stomach ache, back aches, asthma that could last for HOURS.
If that sounds horrible, well it is. Nothing seemed to help, anti-acids didn't do that trick, and even thought my back felt tight massages only seemed to make them worse, my stomach would bloat so bad I just wanted to jab myself with a knife to relieve the pressure.
Anyhow, being the stupid person I am, since it only happened perhaps once every 3 months or perhaps every 5 months, I just ignored it. Even when it got pretty bad and it was occuring about every month when I was around 20, I kinda ignored it. I just realized if I take the pain killers right away, then the muslces don't tense up. Also I realized if I just throw up I feel so much better.
I also realized along the way that it didn't seem to be high stomach acid, even though whenever I got it I would burp up painful bile. (not throw up keep in mind, literally just stomach acid and spittle) Because whenever I did throw up, I often threw up the contents of my stomach that I SHOULD have digested long ago. Sometimes if it was particularly painful, and I waited a particularly long time I could barf things I ate 2 days ago. So I assumed it was low stomach acid, of course knowing this doesn't do anything, since what could I do?
Well finally going to the doctor, he listens to what I tell him and tells me I have IBS, and to take this medicine everyday. Of course I wait till before I come to Japan, and he gives me a supply of maybe a month. Also looking up IBS on the internet, showed symptoms I didn't seem to have. So stupidly I didn't take the medicine.
Of course in Japan I sometimes get this horrible sickness, with the frequency of about every 3 months. The only crappy thing is, I can't decide to not go to work, even if I am sick till 3 in the morning rolling around in extreme pain unable to sleep due to said pain. Also painkillers that are NOT aspirin (thus just going to make my stomach pain worse) are hard to find in Japan, so I often find my strategy of "bloating! quick get the pain killers!" a fail.
So, I've been noting the things I eat that cause the pain. I already had milk and most milk products down. I'm a bit lactose, not to the point where I can't eat any milk product but enough that when I do I get that violent sickness. There is a threshold but it seems to float depending on the situation and what i am eating, so like a fool I risk it every time. Also just discovered in Japan is very oily food, I had my suspicions due to the fact when every I threw up there was a lot of oil floating in it, but I assumed that is what stomach acid looked like, but when I got really sick eating VERY oily katsu, it confirmed my suspicion.
And worse yet, the two things I love oh so much, spicy foods and mints. Yesterday, I had some cocoa from the vending machine, and unlike America which uses powdered milkd and water (which is a smidgen more bearable for me)it was made with real milk and cream. Half way through I was ready to hurl, so I put it down and just took some warm water and oolong tea (green tea seems to make it worse). It went away, so foolishly I went to eat Indian curry. Granted it was bad enough getting spiciness 30 curry when they say 10 is considered hot (the max is 50) but then I got CHEESE nan. I thought "well garlic makes me gassy, too. Another food I LOVE that I now limit)
I love cheese nan, but it was SOOO oily! Even I could barely eat it, but since it was an extra 2 dollars I decided to eat it anyhow.
My back started hurting so I decided to go to the chiropractors, though I knew that massages usually made the pain worse, I thought maybe a professional would be better? Well it wasn't and around 9 o'clock that pain started. So I took the medicine the doctor gave me (which is a preventative) and tried to grit through it. I was burping up some horrible bile (pure acid, lots of spittle and chili pepper oil) I knew it was a combo of the oil and spicyness. So I started eating mints since my throat was burning. This of course just creates more spit which as a note neutralizes my already low stomach acid.
It was painful laying down so I sat up and bummed on the internet till 12. But laying down was just horror, from 12-3 I rolled around in pain. I can scarcely remember sleeping but it was painful enough where time kinda faded away and I just rolled around going "ugh, ugh, ugh" till before I knew it, it was 3.
By this time I realized the bloating was not going to go away naturally and went to eh toilet to hurl. My body actually managed to digest most of my food, and I just threw up oil, spiciness, acid, and mint. Reconfirming what I already suspected, all the foods I love hate me.
Looking up on the internet for low stomach acid I find that alcohol can also make my stomach go wah, wah. I've given up garlic and mashed potatoes, but MINTS! AND SPICY FOODS! Ugh, I am hoping if I just do it in moderation it will help. But I had to blog on this to LAMENT the possible lose of my favorite foods in my limited diet. Oh damn you cursed body and your crappiness!
So, I am going to stay away from oily and milk foods like the plague! Hopefully the spicy will be ok, and maybe I won't be able to drink spicy sauce like I sometimes enjoy doing. (not really drinking it, but eating it with things to a ratio of 1:1) Bah, but that's half the fun!
On another note on Tuesday I started the NaNoWriMo. It's the National Novel writing Month challenge, where I have one month to write 50,000 words. I started on Tuesday which means I didn't write for about 12 days, which means I have to write about 2,777 words a day to make it. But, I don't really want to write on the weekends so I decided to write just on the weekdays, upping my total to 3,777 words a day. As of yesterday (being a day and a half from my start point) I have written 12,600 words! Granted its basically crap, but I've read samples of other peoples work and I must say at least my dialog indicates who is speaking! The plot is semi cohesive and things are actually developing in a way that somewhat makes sense. I think I am doing pretty good for a clip of over 6,000 words a day. If I can keep this up I'll be done by next week Thursday!
I hate reading as a note, and I do not like fiction. I'm mostly doing this because writing quickly and under pressure used to be the talent that got me through college. Sadly, I feel in Japan I haven't been utilizing it at all! In fact, I feel my brain is going stagnant. Where as before, whenever I got an assignment I would mull over what I wanted in my brain and then just go at it when the time came, but now I have nothing to mull over and I just note stupid things.
This bull shit thing is kind of shot in the arm I need, and a useful distraction in the boringness that is the week before and finals week. Ugh, two weeks of next to nothing!
Ever since I was very young maybe in the 4th grade, so I supposed 9-10 I've been getting painful stomach pains and bloating. It was at the time very infrequent but hideously painful. Often times it would occur when I was attempting to not do my homework, and my mom would always think I was lying. But when I got older around 15 it took a turn for the worse. As I had gone from a rather lazy do nothing kid, to rather athletic, these painful stomach aches turned into combination painful stomach ache, back aches, asthma that could last for HOURS.
If that sounds horrible, well it is. Nothing seemed to help, anti-acids didn't do that trick, and even thought my back felt tight massages only seemed to make them worse, my stomach would bloat so bad I just wanted to jab myself with a knife to relieve the pressure.
Anyhow, being the stupid person I am, since it only happened perhaps once every 3 months or perhaps every 5 months, I just ignored it. Even when it got pretty bad and it was occuring about every month when I was around 20, I kinda ignored it. I just realized if I take the pain killers right away, then the muslces don't tense up. Also I realized if I just throw up I feel so much better.
I also realized along the way that it didn't seem to be high stomach acid, even though whenever I got it I would burp up painful bile. (not throw up keep in mind, literally just stomach acid and spittle) Because whenever I did throw up, I often threw up the contents of my stomach that I SHOULD have digested long ago. Sometimes if it was particularly painful, and I waited a particularly long time I could barf things I ate 2 days ago. So I assumed it was low stomach acid, of course knowing this doesn't do anything, since what could I do?
Well finally going to the doctor, he listens to what I tell him and tells me I have IBS, and to take this medicine everyday. Of course I wait till before I come to Japan, and he gives me a supply of maybe a month. Also looking up IBS on the internet, showed symptoms I didn't seem to have. So stupidly I didn't take the medicine.
Of course in Japan I sometimes get this horrible sickness, with the frequency of about every 3 months. The only crappy thing is, I can't decide to not go to work, even if I am sick till 3 in the morning rolling around in extreme pain unable to sleep due to said pain. Also painkillers that are NOT aspirin (thus just going to make my stomach pain worse) are hard to find in Japan, so I often find my strategy of "bloating! quick get the pain killers!" a fail.
So, I've been noting the things I eat that cause the pain. I already had milk and most milk products down. I'm a bit lactose, not to the point where I can't eat any milk product but enough that when I do I get that violent sickness. There is a threshold but it seems to float depending on the situation and what i am eating, so like a fool I risk it every time. Also just discovered in Japan is very oily food, I had my suspicions due to the fact when every I threw up there was a lot of oil floating in it, but I assumed that is what stomach acid looked like, but when I got really sick eating VERY oily katsu, it confirmed my suspicion.
And worse yet, the two things I love oh so much, spicy foods and mints. Yesterday, I had some cocoa from the vending machine, and unlike America which uses powdered milkd and water (which is a smidgen more bearable for me)it was made with real milk and cream. Half way through I was ready to hurl, so I put it down and just took some warm water and oolong tea (green tea seems to make it worse). It went away, so foolishly I went to eat Indian curry. Granted it was bad enough getting spiciness 30 curry when they say 10 is considered hot (the max is 50) but then I got CHEESE nan. I thought "well garlic makes me gassy, too. Another food I LOVE that I now limit)
I love cheese nan, but it was SOOO oily! Even I could barely eat it, but since it was an extra 2 dollars I decided to eat it anyhow.
My back started hurting so I decided to go to the chiropractors, though I knew that massages usually made the pain worse, I thought maybe a professional would be better? Well it wasn't and around 9 o'clock that pain started. So I took the medicine the doctor gave me (which is a preventative) and tried to grit through it. I was burping up some horrible bile (pure acid, lots of spittle and chili pepper oil) I knew it was a combo of the oil and spicyness. So I started eating mints since my throat was burning. This of course just creates more spit which as a note neutralizes my already low stomach acid.
It was painful laying down so I sat up and bummed on the internet till 12. But laying down was just horror, from 12-3 I rolled around in pain. I can scarcely remember sleeping but it was painful enough where time kinda faded away and I just rolled around going "ugh, ugh, ugh" till before I knew it, it was 3.
By this time I realized the bloating was not going to go away naturally and went to eh toilet to hurl. My body actually managed to digest most of my food, and I just threw up oil, spiciness, acid, and mint. Reconfirming what I already suspected, all the foods I love hate me.
Looking up on the internet for low stomach acid I find that alcohol can also make my stomach go wah, wah. I've given up garlic and mashed potatoes, but MINTS! AND SPICY FOODS! Ugh, I am hoping if I just do it in moderation it will help. But I had to blog on this to LAMENT the possible lose of my favorite foods in my limited diet. Oh damn you cursed body and your crappiness!
So, I am going to stay away from oily and milk foods like the plague! Hopefully the spicy will be ok, and maybe I won't be able to drink spicy sauce like I sometimes enjoy doing. (not really drinking it, but eating it with things to a ratio of 1:1) Bah, but that's half the fun!
On another note on Tuesday I started the NaNoWriMo. It's the National Novel writing Month challenge, where I have one month to write 50,000 words. I started on Tuesday which means I didn't write for about 12 days, which means I have to write about 2,777 words a day to make it. But, I don't really want to write on the weekends so I decided to write just on the weekdays, upping my total to 3,777 words a day. As of yesterday (being a day and a half from my start point) I have written 12,600 words! Granted its basically crap, but I've read samples of other peoples work and I must say at least my dialog indicates who is speaking! The plot is semi cohesive and things are actually developing in a way that somewhat makes sense. I think I am doing pretty good for a clip of over 6,000 words a day. If I can keep this up I'll be done by next week Thursday!
I hate reading as a note, and I do not like fiction. I'm mostly doing this because writing quickly and under pressure used to be the talent that got me through college. Sadly, I feel in Japan I haven't been utilizing it at all! In fact, I feel my brain is going stagnant. Where as before, whenever I got an assignment I would mull over what I wanted in my brain and then just go at it when the time came, but now I have nothing to mull over and I just note stupid things.
This bull shit thing is kind of shot in the arm I need, and a useful distraction in the boringness that is the week before and finals week. Ugh, two weeks of next to nothing!
2007年11月5日月曜日
Re-contracting
Last year around this time of the year I got my re-contracting papers. I signed it upon receiving it. When I first came to Japan I promised myself, short of the students SETTING ME ON FIRE, I was going to stay for two years. I knew I could not do everything in a year, and in reality at the time I did not really enjoy teaching or honestly the students, but I had made up my mind before hand.
This year, I have no received my papers at all....because my supervisor is a bit of a laggard on stuff like this. Regardless I know other ALT's have received these papers and I knew many people are debating this. Its amazing how many ALTs have seemingly changed their minds, or how their perspective of Japan has gotten better and better.
In some ways I feel better about my job and Japan, and in other ways, I am just worn out and can't stand it. Particularly with my job, right now I am sitting here doing nothing, and the previous week I was sitting around doing very little. I taught 4 classes last week, and I'll teach 5 classes this week. I often complain when I am busy, but never to my teachers, and somehow they seem to be giving me less and less work. Granted I theoretically do more, since I now make and grade tests consistently, but since I no longer go to second year classes, or third year classes, I have seen my previous schedule of 17 classes a week dwindle to basically nothing.
Some people would rather be happy with this, but I am starting to debate if my old schedule was better. I feel so useless and I feel the other teachers resentment since all I do is SIT HERE. I also feel the reason for me extreme derth in classes is due to the teachers feeling my lessons are a waste. And also I feel a real disconnect with my teachers, they always try to talk to me when I am a rather dour mood, and its basically my own fault for just not trying to talk to them. I suppose I could take it upon myself to do other things that in the end somehow benefit the school, but seeing as I am already in a funk I have a hard time trying to go the extra mile.
But, I love Japan on the most part. I feel like I can do so much more here. In Hawaii, I am afraid I'll just be that lazy bum I used to be. In Japan its so easy to go traveling, just up and decide to do certain things I want to just because, and I am independent. I get to decide what to eat, what curtains to buy, granted most times I eat out, and I have not changed the curtains that have been there from god knows when, but still I love the options.
Also, I am missing home and the people. Since my friend has died things seem a bit more chaotic at home. But, I feel like I've made so many friends in Japan I think and know I'll miss them a lot when I go back. It's a hard choice, I really need to think about it more, I keep on saying I 80% want to go home, but there really is a lot of me wanting to stay.....
This year, I have no received my papers at all....because my supervisor is a bit of a laggard on stuff like this. Regardless I know other ALT's have received these papers and I knew many people are debating this. Its amazing how many ALTs have seemingly changed their minds, or how their perspective of Japan has gotten better and better.
In some ways I feel better about my job and Japan, and in other ways, I am just worn out and can't stand it. Particularly with my job, right now I am sitting here doing nothing, and the previous week I was sitting around doing very little. I taught 4 classes last week, and I'll teach 5 classes this week. I often complain when I am busy, but never to my teachers, and somehow they seem to be giving me less and less work. Granted I theoretically do more, since I now make and grade tests consistently, but since I no longer go to second year classes, or third year classes, I have seen my previous schedule of 17 classes a week dwindle to basically nothing.
Some people would rather be happy with this, but I am starting to debate if my old schedule was better. I feel so useless and I feel the other teachers resentment since all I do is SIT HERE. I also feel the reason for me extreme derth in classes is due to the teachers feeling my lessons are a waste. And also I feel a real disconnect with my teachers, they always try to talk to me when I am a rather dour mood, and its basically my own fault for just not trying to talk to them. I suppose I could take it upon myself to do other things that in the end somehow benefit the school, but seeing as I am already in a funk I have a hard time trying to go the extra mile.
But, I love Japan on the most part. I feel like I can do so much more here. In Hawaii, I am afraid I'll just be that lazy bum I used to be. In Japan its so easy to go traveling, just up and decide to do certain things I want to just because, and I am independent. I get to decide what to eat, what curtains to buy, granted most times I eat out, and I have not changed the curtains that have been there from god knows when, but still I love the options.
Also, I am missing home and the people. Since my friend has died things seem a bit more chaotic at home. But, I feel like I've made so many friends in Japan I think and know I'll miss them a lot when I go back. It's a hard choice, I really need to think about it more, I keep on saying I 80% want to go home, but there really is a lot of me wanting to stay.....
2007年10月22日月曜日
Highs and Lows
My school participated in a Speech contest this Saturday. The contest was a constant source of stress for me, for about the past 3 weeks. I've been spending LOT's of time helping the four students who joined. My school has NEVER had ANYONE attempt something like a speech contest. And though teachers had participated in contests before in their previous schools, this contest was unique. It was made very easy, as kids did not have to memorize their speech or even make it. So no one really could help me.
I made the speeches for them, then recorded my voice, then trained them, then made it easier for them, then re-recorded my voice and trained more and then more. All told I think I spent at least 40 hours NON WORK HOURS on this, not including taking my Saturday off to join them.
In the end one of my students won second place. And the winner of the first place was a college student, from the college that put the contest on, and her teacher was a judge. So I was a bit bitter she didn't get first. But everyone assured me that in the back its ALL politics.
Still, I was happy that all my work in a way paid off. Also in the hall ways I ran into a third year students I hadn't seen in a long time. She is well known to me, I met her last year as a second year when she HATED English. She was the captain of the first club I joined so I often talked to her. But her English WAS so bad, she could not even answer me "What is your name" She couldn't even spell her own name right. But I talked to her a lot, and worked hard to make English fun for her whenever I went to the club.
In the end she really came to enjoy English, and even joined the intensive English course I taught. Due to business and (the teacher who heads the class not liking me =/) I havn't seen her. But in that class I got to know that she was just going to some crappy 2 year college, and then just getting a job. I always told her she could do better. And when I saw her she not only told me "long time no see" (I TAUGHT HER THAT!) but also that she was going to try for Fukuoka College. A proper four year one. I almost cried, I thought wow I am making a difference, not just making their English better, changing lives.
I know I am not the only factor, in fact I may have just been a small factor but I KNOW I somehow played a part in it. In fact it was the first thing she told me, I know she told me it because I always told her "Why not a four year college"
It almost made me think I want to stay another year. But, honestly I have been really busy and my school has not been so forgiving. I have been spending a lot of after school time helping the kids, and taking time off my weekend, but when I desperately needed to go to the doctor they refused to let me take off without taking paid leave. I have very limited paid leave and do not want to use it. So though I really needed to go, I still have not went....
Also a close personal friend died recently, and I guess it's my own fault I don't want to break down and tell the other teachers this. I just suck it up and teach my classes with this smile, then helped the speech kids.
The speech is finally over and I now feel I can relax. I debated starting an English club with the girls who did the speech contest but that would take so much more work due to scheduling.
I am happy I am finally starting to make a difference, but I don't know if it's enough..........
I made the speeches for them, then recorded my voice, then trained them, then made it easier for them, then re-recorded my voice and trained more and then more. All told I think I spent at least 40 hours NON WORK HOURS on this, not including taking my Saturday off to join them.
In the end one of my students won second place. And the winner of the first place was a college student, from the college that put the contest on, and her teacher was a judge. So I was a bit bitter she didn't get first. But everyone assured me that in the back its ALL politics.
Still, I was happy that all my work in a way paid off. Also in the hall ways I ran into a third year students I hadn't seen in a long time. She is well known to me, I met her last year as a second year when she HATED English. She was the captain of the first club I joined so I often talked to her. But her English WAS so bad, she could not even answer me "What is your name" She couldn't even spell her own name right. But I talked to her a lot, and worked hard to make English fun for her whenever I went to the club.
In the end she really came to enjoy English, and even joined the intensive English course I taught. Due to business and (the teacher who heads the class not liking me =/) I havn't seen her. But in that class I got to know that she was just going to some crappy 2 year college, and then just getting a job. I always told her she could do better. And when I saw her she not only told me "long time no see" (I TAUGHT HER THAT!) but also that she was going to try for Fukuoka College. A proper four year one. I almost cried, I thought wow I am making a difference, not just making their English better, changing lives.
I know I am not the only factor, in fact I may have just been a small factor but I KNOW I somehow played a part in it. In fact it was the first thing she told me, I know she told me it because I always told her "Why not a four year college"
It almost made me think I want to stay another year. But, honestly I have been really busy and my school has not been so forgiving. I have been spending a lot of after school time helping the kids, and taking time off my weekend, but when I desperately needed to go to the doctor they refused to let me take off without taking paid leave. I have very limited paid leave and do not want to use it. So though I really needed to go, I still have not went....
Also a close personal friend died recently, and I guess it's my own fault I don't want to break down and tell the other teachers this. I just suck it up and teach my classes with this smile, then helped the speech kids.
The speech is finally over and I now feel I can relax. I debated starting an English club with the girls who did the speech contest but that would take so much more work due to scheduling.
I am happy I am finally starting to make a difference, but I don't know if it's enough..........
2007年10月12日金曜日
Kana is a funny name for a guy......
Funny stories ahead. A lot has happened recently good and bad, but we're just going to pretend they didn't happy as they are not blog friendly....as in they are long and ranty and I am tired of rants.
Today after almost 2 weeks of not talking to students I climbed a mountain with them. It's normally a monthly ritual but due to meetings and me not being here for whatever such reason I havn't climbed the mountain in awhile.
So it took a smidge to get into the groove. I decided to climb with a class who is rather genki in my classes, oddly I got stuck between two really quiet girls and two really loud girls, somehow this lead to no conversation happening.
After about 15 minutes of not talking I was getting tired of not talking, the kids generally won't talk to me unless I initiate it and I normally do. For some reason it felt weird to suddenly start talking when I hadn't for so long. Ah shame you are the ban of teachers.
finally I told to the two insanely quiet girls, who literally walk in step together and are clearly good friends, yet had failed to say a word to one another in the entire trip "are you always so quiet?" Of course they dont understand this, its rather a complex phrase. So I say the understandable, "no talking?" and they understand. They don't respond to this though, they just laugh and smile to one another. So I think, telepathy? So i ask, "Do you use telepathy?" And they respond, "oh yes, telepathy!" Telepathy sounds hard but I used these words on purpose, because I know in Japanese the word is "telepathy"
Right after this short interlude they once again go into silent mode. They are a freaky pair, they never talk, even to one another yet they are attached by the hip to one another. I swear when they walk, they walk at the exact same pace! It's creepy, its like they march to one another beat, literally. Good for them.
Anyhow eventually I get two girls to talk to me. I talk to them about music, and whatever they can understand, and eventually it lands up on their club. Clubs in my school are hard core and they are always a source of conversation.
It later breaks into favorite music, then actors, then of course the boys they like. The other never fail subject. I know a lot of people in their club since I used to visit the club all the time, also thanks to my memory I remember a lot of their names, and them.
So they start talking about upperclassmen they like. And honestly in their club the guys arn't that hot. But, they go on about so and so, who has a nice smile, and so and so who is good at kyudo, etc. Finnally one girl goes, "I love kana sempai" And I think...which boy had the name kana? Then she says the last name and I realize, oh the girl?!
"Kana, in 2-2 kumi" and she agrees with a " I love, I love" So the other girl chimes in, "No, No, 2-5 kana is cute! I love insert last name here-> kana" And then it becomes a bizzaro engrish argument about which kana is made out of more love. In the end they agree "both are cute" of course by this time the English has stopped and I just know this by listening to their Japanese.
Does this mean they are lesbians.....no, not at all in fact. In Japan, its just so normal to one second be talking about the guys you love, and then talk about the girls you love and find cute. Oh Japan, your so silly.
Also, jersey sounds like Georgie to ALL my students. Hilarious as the Japanese word for jersey is Ja-ji, so how does jer-z sound MORE like georgie? Oh well. Silliness as always.
Today after almost 2 weeks of not talking to students I climbed a mountain with them. It's normally a monthly ritual but due to meetings and me not being here for whatever such reason I havn't climbed the mountain in awhile.
So it took a smidge to get into the groove. I decided to climb with a class who is rather genki in my classes, oddly I got stuck between two really quiet girls and two really loud girls, somehow this lead to no conversation happening.
After about 15 minutes of not talking I was getting tired of not talking, the kids generally won't talk to me unless I initiate it and I normally do. For some reason it felt weird to suddenly start talking when I hadn't for so long. Ah shame you are the ban of teachers.
finally I told to the two insanely quiet girls, who literally walk in step together and are clearly good friends, yet had failed to say a word to one another in the entire trip "are you always so quiet?" Of course they dont understand this, its rather a complex phrase. So I say the understandable, "no talking?" and they understand. They don't respond to this though, they just laugh and smile to one another. So I think, telepathy? So i ask, "Do you use telepathy?" And they respond, "oh yes, telepathy!" Telepathy sounds hard but I used these words on purpose, because I know in Japanese the word is "telepathy"
Right after this short interlude they once again go into silent mode. They are a freaky pair, they never talk, even to one another yet they are attached by the hip to one another. I swear when they walk, they walk at the exact same pace! It's creepy, its like they march to one another beat, literally. Good for them.
Anyhow eventually I get two girls to talk to me. I talk to them about music, and whatever they can understand, and eventually it lands up on their club. Clubs in my school are hard core and they are always a source of conversation.
It later breaks into favorite music, then actors, then of course the boys they like. The other never fail subject. I know a lot of people in their club since I used to visit the club all the time, also thanks to my memory I remember a lot of their names, and them.
So they start talking about upperclassmen they like. And honestly in their club the guys arn't that hot. But, they go on about so and so, who has a nice smile, and so and so who is good at kyudo, etc. Finnally one girl goes, "I love kana sempai" And I think...which boy had the name kana? Then she says the last name and I realize, oh the girl?!
"Kana, in 2-2 kumi" and she agrees with a " I love, I love" So the other girl chimes in, "No, No, 2-5 kana is cute! I love insert last name here-> kana" And then it becomes a bizzaro engrish argument about which kana is made out of more love. In the end they agree "both are cute" of course by this time the English has stopped and I just know this by listening to their Japanese.
Does this mean they are lesbians.....no, not at all in fact. In Japan, its just so normal to one second be talking about the guys you love, and then talk about the girls you love and find cute. Oh Japan, your so silly.
Also, jersey sounds like Georgie to ALL my students. Hilarious as the Japanese word for jersey is Ja-ji, so how does jer-z sound MORE like georgie? Oh well. Silliness as always.
2007年9月10日月曜日
Losing Control
I am currently using a lesson plan I created that allows for EVERY SINGLE students to come up and speak to me, at least one sentence and they MUST remember the answer. (They also must speak to their JTE, which is hilarious as the JTE's say this is the first time they are ever hearing a lot of their students say anything in English to them) Granted not every student comes up because they either choose not to participate at all, or they just slag off.
Consequently during the game the JTE and me are very busy answering questions and at least half the class is sitting down doing something, (thats at least 20 students) which basically means it can easily lead to chaos. ESPECIALLY in my classes, kids have literally pounded the walls, gotten each other into choke holds, scratched offensive pictures into their desks.
I was really worried, as those were some of my better classes. But today I realize order was broken down so easily due to lack of respect.
I am generally really nice to my students, I don't want them afraid of me and I think some (a lot) of my schools bizarro rules are unnecessary and superfluous(silly word). BUT, today I was teaching with a JTE of mine, shes a part timer but I teach A LOT of lessons with her (3, which is a lot for just one teacher in my school) I sometimes think shes really too strict.
Today while making pairs, two groups of girls made groups of threes, which is silly since the game asked to make pairs. The girls didn't really want to move, and this exercise was only supposed to take 2 minutes, but she got angry screamed at them to move their asses and make pairs. It took something like 3 minutes just to do this, as the girls were I guess moody and not wanting to listen. BUT this teacher STOOD her ground, and I thought holy shit this is insane, just who cares. She is often like this and I just stand there kinda like what should I do, with this face of slight confusion.
BUT, in the game, the one where many classes lost control, they were well ordered, they generally listened and it went well. Probably went the best of all classes so far, even though class 8 is not the brightest. The control this lady has over the classes really makes teaching easier.
The problem with one class (which is not dumb, but they just were animals in the lesson) is that they have no respect for the teacher. They call her by her first name, and she often loses control of them. But, she is really nice to them and generally acquiesces to their rudeness and demands (calling her rudely by her first name in a shouting manner) I have a VERY hard time teaching with her class, half the time we are just shouting pointlessly (pointlessly because it never works) at the students. I really should not get angry at them, as that does not endanger respect or even fear just makes me scream, making them scream, thus creating more chaos. (Also the ones I have gotten angry at, then dislike me from then on becoming even MORE difficult in my classes, ugh vicious cycle)
I wish I wasn't so nice in the beginning, well at least I wish the teachers were more strict so I could be nice. But, seeing as out of 6 of the teacher I teach with, only 2 have any form of respect from their students, I am really unsure of what to do. I wish I could mind wipe them and have them respect me, but in this school you certainly HAVE TO EARN it. And you don't earn respect by being nice in this school, these kids know when you give an inch to take a mile, and I think I've already given them a yard.
So, this school isn't that bad, as long as you know what to do . AND DAMN IT, it sure took me a long time. Actually I realized a long time ago I did not have to be their friend to be a good teacher, BUT I still tried to be very nice....ugh just being strict works best here. The ALT 3 ALTs ago was strict, and did well in the school....granted he did hit the kids, and granted he was a VERY large man...and he spoke Japanese to the students... damn it I keep on forgetting the level of my students. I don't want to give in, I see the ALT's with schools my level who just speak to the kids in Japanese and I think that if thats the case then we just become pointless, but as time goes on I really start to debate my strategy....
Once again I am torn in my decision to stay another year....
Consequently during the game the JTE and me are very busy answering questions and at least half the class is sitting down doing something, (thats at least 20 students) which basically means it can easily lead to chaos. ESPECIALLY in my classes, kids have literally pounded the walls, gotten each other into choke holds, scratched offensive pictures into their desks.
I was really worried, as those were some of my better classes. But today I realize order was broken down so easily due to lack of respect.
I am generally really nice to my students, I don't want them afraid of me and I think some (a lot) of my schools bizarro rules are unnecessary and superfluous(silly word). BUT, today I was teaching with a JTE of mine, shes a part timer but I teach A LOT of lessons with her (3, which is a lot for just one teacher in my school) I sometimes think shes really too strict.
Today while making pairs, two groups of girls made groups of threes, which is silly since the game asked to make pairs. The girls didn't really want to move, and this exercise was only supposed to take 2 minutes, but she got angry screamed at them to move their asses and make pairs. It took something like 3 minutes just to do this, as the girls were I guess moody and not wanting to listen. BUT this teacher STOOD her ground, and I thought holy shit this is insane, just who cares. She is often like this and I just stand there kinda like what should I do, with this face of slight confusion.
BUT, in the game, the one where many classes lost control, they were well ordered, they generally listened and it went well. Probably went the best of all classes so far, even though class 8 is not the brightest. The control this lady has over the classes really makes teaching easier.
The problem with one class (which is not dumb, but they just were animals in the lesson) is that they have no respect for the teacher. They call her by her first name, and she often loses control of them. But, she is really nice to them and generally acquiesces to their rudeness and demands (calling her rudely by her first name in a shouting manner) I have a VERY hard time teaching with her class, half the time we are just shouting pointlessly (pointlessly because it never works) at the students. I really should not get angry at them, as that does not endanger respect or even fear just makes me scream, making them scream, thus creating more chaos. (Also the ones I have gotten angry at, then dislike me from then on becoming even MORE difficult in my classes, ugh vicious cycle)
I wish I wasn't so nice in the beginning, well at least I wish the teachers were more strict so I could be nice. But, seeing as out of 6 of the teacher I teach with, only 2 have any form of respect from their students, I am really unsure of what to do. I wish I could mind wipe them and have them respect me, but in this school you certainly HAVE TO EARN it. And you don't earn respect by being nice in this school, these kids know when you give an inch to take a mile, and I think I've already given them a yard.
So, this school isn't that bad, as long as you know what to do . AND DAMN IT, it sure took me a long time. Actually I realized a long time ago I did not have to be their friend to be a good teacher, BUT I still tried to be very nice....ugh just being strict works best here. The ALT 3 ALTs ago was strict, and did well in the school....granted he did hit the kids, and granted he was a VERY large man...and he spoke Japanese to the students... damn it I keep on forgetting the level of my students. I don't want to give in, I see the ALT's with schools my level who just speak to the kids in Japanese and I think that if thats the case then we just become pointless, but as time goes on I really start to debate my strategy....
Once again I am torn in my decision to stay another year....
2007年9月6日木曜日
Peeing in Japan
So, maybe you do not know this, but in Japan, it's considered rude to make the pee noise. So for you unenlightened or men, Japan is full of what I call squatie potties. They are basically porcelain holes in the ground. When you use them to pee, you squat and well noise is made when pee hits water. In Japan women just do not make this noise, when in the presences of other females, they flush the toilet. The swirling of the noise masks the unpleasantness.
I knew about this little cultural quirk from before I came to Japan. I was informed by one of my zanier high school teachers, what bought that on and why we spent class time talking about it is beyond me but whatever.
I generally abide by the rules and try my best not to make the pee noise. I often thought of it like being from a country where its socially acceptable to fart. You've been there for a short time and noticed "Wow, no one else seems to be doing it" but you let one rip one day, and everyone stares....with those eyes, with the eyes!
Anyhow, I did not want that happening to me. But unlike holding in your farts, which can create some gas problems, it harms only you. And in fact it prevents other people from having to deal with stinkyness. Sadly flushing the toilet to mask pee noise wastes a lot of water. I sometimes hear women flushing up to 3 times for one bathroom break!
I never flush, or resist unless in dire straits! I often wait for the other person to flush then let it go, or wait for the other person to leave. I always thought it be weird to pee. But another friend who also finds it weird but doesn't abide by the rules went" Dude, its cultural exchange, just make the pee noise!"
I debated and debated, and sometimes I made the noise, and other times I did not... but today in the toilet I was kinda holding it in waiting for the other person to flush (again) and I thought damn it, HUMANS MAKE THE PEE NOISE! And I let it rip. I felt quite liberates and I hope from my influence less women will flush the toilet and accept that we make the pee noise.
I'm going to pretend that my previous example of farting does not exist, because I know its really analogous, and really I kinda realize they are judging my pee noise makingness. OH WELL! So other foreign women in Japan, do not be afraid of a little pee noise, were here for grass roots internationalization, and making the pee noise is one damn good example.
I knew about this little cultural quirk from before I came to Japan. I was informed by one of my zanier high school teachers, what bought that on and why we spent class time talking about it is beyond me but whatever.
I generally abide by the rules and try my best not to make the pee noise. I often thought of it like being from a country where its socially acceptable to fart. You've been there for a short time and noticed "Wow, no one else seems to be doing it" but you let one rip one day, and everyone stares....with those eyes, with the eyes!
Anyhow, I did not want that happening to me. But unlike holding in your farts, which can create some gas problems, it harms only you. And in fact it prevents other people from having to deal with stinkyness. Sadly flushing the toilet to mask pee noise wastes a lot of water. I sometimes hear women flushing up to 3 times for one bathroom break!
I never flush, or resist unless in dire straits! I often wait for the other person to flush then let it go, or wait for the other person to leave. I always thought it be weird to pee. But another friend who also finds it weird but doesn't abide by the rules went" Dude, its cultural exchange, just make the pee noise!"
I debated and debated, and sometimes I made the noise, and other times I did not... but today in the toilet I was kinda holding it in waiting for the other person to flush (again) and I thought damn it, HUMANS MAKE THE PEE NOISE! And I let it rip. I felt quite liberates and I hope from my influence less women will flush the toilet and accept that we make the pee noise.
I'm going to pretend that my previous example of farting does not exist, because I know its really analogous, and really I kinda realize they are judging my pee noise makingness. OH WELL! So other foreign women in Japan, do not be afraid of a little pee noise, were here for grass roots internationalization, and making the pee noise is one damn good example.
2007年9月1日土曜日
I may come to love this school yet....
Recently I've been deep into Sports Day practice. Sports day is a big deal in my school, as most kids are in a sports club, and unlike a lot of school we do not have a Culture Festival. What this means is we put a lot into this event. I came into this school year very jaded and dismayed. I felt like all my work was bearing very little fruit. The kids were rotten much like my lessons, and I had begun to lose patience with the kids. I also realized a lot of them did not aspire to be much, usually things like Pastry chefs, Hair stylists, nail artists....things that I knew would not be requiring much English.
But, my neighbor told me something, as a foreigner with little Japanese, going to any of those places she would hope they could help her. And if something I teach them can help her, then in the long run arn't I doing something good. And then another thing, my school is somewhat blue collar and a lot of workers in the area I live are former students. I went a chiropractor and that person was a former student of my school (in Japan its a profession that requires a two year trade school degree) and at the end of the session he attempted to tell me my bill in English, bless his heart he couldn't.
So lately, I've been just trying to be nice to the kids, to talk to them at every chance. Unlike last year, I've been kinda distant to the kids, since they are basically little shits in most of my classes. I also didn't want to play favorites like I did last year (where I managed to help class 2 at cleaning time something like 5 times vs class 6's once...) But, some kids like English more than others, and some kids will like it more. I think I'm doing them a disservice if I avoid them simply because they want to talk to me, and some others don't.
But, I am also just attacking random kids. I used to think that forcing them to speak English just makes them hate it more, but I come up to them without difficult English. I try to speak proper English, but often in really short bursts. Lately, I've even been having fun. Talking to even the worst students, sometimes it inevitably fails, and I get students running away. But lately, even bad students have been running up to me or attempting to talk to me with out me having to prompt them. I get some bizarre-o sentences but its been fun. I almost feel like I can do this. But, we'll see as I have not even started actual lessons.
So I'm happy and some kids have come into clean the teachers room so time for more FORCED ENGLISH!
But, my neighbor told me something, as a foreigner with little Japanese, going to any of those places she would hope they could help her. And if something I teach them can help her, then in the long run arn't I doing something good. And then another thing, my school is somewhat blue collar and a lot of workers in the area I live are former students. I went a chiropractor and that person was a former student of my school (in Japan its a profession that requires a two year trade school degree) and at the end of the session he attempted to tell me my bill in English, bless his heart he couldn't.
So lately, I've been just trying to be nice to the kids, to talk to them at every chance. Unlike last year, I've been kinda distant to the kids, since they are basically little shits in most of my classes. I also didn't want to play favorites like I did last year (where I managed to help class 2 at cleaning time something like 5 times vs class 6's once...) But, some kids like English more than others, and some kids will like it more. I think I'm doing them a disservice if I avoid them simply because they want to talk to me, and some others don't.
But, I am also just attacking random kids. I used to think that forcing them to speak English just makes them hate it more, but I come up to them without difficult English. I try to speak proper English, but often in really short bursts. Lately, I've even been having fun. Talking to even the worst students, sometimes it inevitably fails, and I get students running away. But lately, even bad students have been running up to me or attempting to talk to me with out me having to prompt them. I get some bizarre-o sentences but its been fun. I almost feel like I can do this. But, we'll see as I have not even started actual lessons.
So I'm happy and some kids have come into clean the teachers room so time for more FORCED ENGLISH!
2007年8月24日金曜日
I don't do short posts
Well, I often try to make posts short and easily consumable and somehow they EXPLODE into semi rants. Such is my mental process. Oh well. I'll try again today as yesterdays short blog attempt was so fail.
The reason I am blogging is nothing more than I am completely bored. And it seems like no one else is blogging. I often try and find things to do in my school to keep me occupied. But really with no classes going on there is little I can do. I made an listening test, wrote out the questions, laid it out, made more questions, made a script, recorded it, drew some maps all sorts of things. But really, it did not take so much time doing all of these things.
I find no matter what I need to do, it seems to only take me maybe a few minutes or perhaps an hour to breeze through it. Then I am bored, forced to find something new. It may be due to the fact, I don't like doing things slow. I want things done...not now, but 5 minutes ago. It takes awhile to get it done keep in mind due to the fact I am inherently lazy, and a big procrastinator. Knowing things can be done so quickly, I figure, why start now. I like when the pressures on a bit.
Well anyhow, this post is merely to comment on how today is bowing ceremony. It means that all of us "teachers" must get together in front of some big-wigs of the ken (prefecture/state) and bow. Its a affair where I should dress to impress, thus I searched for my summer suit. The suit I came to Japan a little over a year ago. Alas I could not find it, I could only find my winter suit, which has a double layer in the suit to keep me warm. That is something I DO NOT WANT! So, time was of the essences and I did not want to be late, so instead of looking moar, I just got out my scissors turned the pants inside out and cut out the lining. GO ME! I figure I have 3 winter pants suits, 2 winter skirts (such a Japanese thing) and 5 winter suit jackets, I can bust up one or two.
So, now that this is done I am back on my hunt for things to do. I should be studying Japanese, I should be reading...but some how thats just so fail...... Any other suggestions?
The reason I am blogging is nothing more than I am completely bored. And it seems like no one else is blogging. I often try and find things to do in my school to keep me occupied. But really with no classes going on there is little I can do. I made an listening test, wrote out the questions, laid it out, made more questions, made a script, recorded it, drew some maps all sorts of things. But really, it did not take so much time doing all of these things.
I find no matter what I need to do, it seems to only take me maybe a few minutes or perhaps an hour to breeze through it. Then I am bored, forced to find something new. It may be due to the fact, I don't like doing things slow. I want things done...not now, but 5 minutes ago. It takes awhile to get it done keep in mind due to the fact I am inherently lazy, and a big procrastinator. Knowing things can be done so quickly, I figure, why start now. I like when the pressures on a bit.
Well anyhow, this post is merely to comment on how today is bowing ceremony. It means that all of us "teachers" must get together in front of some big-wigs of the ken (prefecture/state) and bow. Its a affair where I should dress to impress, thus I searched for my summer suit. The suit I came to Japan a little over a year ago. Alas I could not find it, I could only find my winter suit, which has a double layer in the suit to keep me warm. That is something I DO NOT WANT! So, time was of the essences and I did not want to be late, so instead of looking moar, I just got out my scissors turned the pants inside out and cut out the lining. GO ME! I figure I have 3 winter pants suits, 2 winter skirts (such a Japanese thing) and 5 winter suit jackets, I can bust up one or two.
So, now that this is done I am back on my hunt for things to do. I should be studying Japanese, I should be reading...but some how thats just so fail...... Any other suggestions?
2007年8月23日木曜日
It takes a Village....
For about two weeks my school has been having sports day practices. Sports day are basically "fun" distractions for kids. I use the word fun loosely since really its not studying but it's basically standing out in the BLAZING DEATH hot sun for hours on end, staying up all night preparing, making costumes, and doing a lot of work.....so I suppose a very Japanese High School notion of fun.
The track team has a meet on the day of the festival, but this being Japan, they can not simply stand to the sides going "Nah, Nah, Nah, boo, boo I don't have to do that~" Instead they smooth the field with brushes (when I say field I mean giant sand box) draw the lines into said field (as the "track", baseball field and any other sport held in my school is basically held in a giant field of sand, and all measurements and tracks and lines must be drawn in by said students)or even pick up the large rocks that have some how migrated into this field of sand.....
Well, the past few days there have been MASSIVE storms, thus all the lines the track and field kids have spent hours drawing in had faded away. So they broke out their 400 ++ meter long measuring tapes and measured the fields out. At the end of the day the wheel to wind up the massively long measuring tape had a piece break off. It was the handle to wind up the said tape. So cue in 2 students, and 3 teachers all trying to get this thing to wind up. It is a big deal, as its about 400 meters laid out in a tangle (thats 1/4 mile worth of tape)and they are doing all sorts of things to wind it up. At first they try to just use the nub to wind it up, then someone brings a hammer and they hit it a bit...which obviously does little, finally they use a nail and with the power of hammer jam said nail into the existing nub. Problem solved right? Now only 2 teachesr and two students needed to stand there untangling the mess while one girl winded it up... all was good and fine till the nub broke off (I guess pounding it with the hammer sure didn't help)
So once again all 5 were fiddling with it, the teachers soon realizes well the kids just gotta wind it by hand. And so this is what the two students did, they jammed their tiny hands into the spool and slowly, painfully slowly were winding it. Did I mention on the side of this wheel were holes, holes were you could probably stick the nail in to and use it to wind up said tape....well there was. And I stood there looking at them, thinking how long will it take them to figure this out. Well about 15 minutes into the whole mess, and about 5 minutes of the girl winding it by hand. I came in grabbed the nail told the girl to stop and showed them the way. They were amazed...and I was stunned.
Granted, this seems like common sense to perhaps people in the west. But, what is common sense? Common sense is just what people around you would most likely do or know. To Japanese, instead of sitting there by yourself figuring it out (which is what an American would do), common sense is to get into a group and discuss it. This is what kids do in class (gasp I've been asked a question in English...CONFERENCE!) and it is also common sense to them to not think outside of the box but to use things for their intended purpose. A NAIL....AS A HANDLE!!! SAY IT ISN'T SO!
This makes it sound like I'm criticizing but in a way I'm not. In some situations this would be a great idea. As a group some things just get done faster and more heads together is better than one. The west conception of doing it yourself and reaping all the rewards makes people pompous and pig headed, not wanting to ask for help. Also when you fuck up since it's all on you, your more inclined to hid it.
Still, it was measuring tape and it tooke 6 people to wind it.....holy shit! I guess it was a nice excuse to sit under the shade out of the blazing death sun...so perhaps thats the real reason...
The track team has a meet on the day of the festival, but this being Japan, they can not simply stand to the sides going "Nah, Nah, Nah, boo, boo I don't have to do that~" Instead they smooth the field with brushes (when I say field I mean giant sand box) draw the lines into said field (as the "track", baseball field and any other sport held in my school is basically held in a giant field of sand, and all measurements and tracks and lines must be drawn in by said students)or even pick up the large rocks that have some how migrated into this field of sand.....
Well, the past few days there have been MASSIVE storms, thus all the lines the track and field kids have spent hours drawing in had faded away. So they broke out their 400 ++ meter long measuring tapes and measured the fields out. At the end of the day the wheel to wind up the massively long measuring tape had a piece break off. It was the handle to wind up the said tape. So cue in 2 students, and 3 teachers all trying to get this thing to wind up. It is a big deal, as its about 400 meters laid out in a tangle (thats 1/4 mile worth of tape)and they are doing all sorts of things to wind it up. At first they try to just use the nub to wind it up, then someone brings a hammer and they hit it a bit...which obviously does little, finally they use a nail and with the power of hammer jam said nail into the existing nub. Problem solved right? Now only 2 teachesr and two students needed to stand there untangling the mess while one girl winded it up... all was good and fine till the nub broke off (I guess pounding it with the hammer sure didn't help)
So once again all 5 were fiddling with it, the teachers soon realizes well the kids just gotta wind it by hand. And so this is what the two students did, they jammed their tiny hands into the spool and slowly, painfully slowly were winding it. Did I mention on the side of this wheel were holes, holes were you could probably stick the nail in to and use it to wind up said tape....well there was. And I stood there looking at them, thinking how long will it take them to figure this out. Well about 15 minutes into the whole mess, and about 5 minutes of the girl winding it by hand. I came in grabbed the nail told the girl to stop and showed them the way. They were amazed...and I was stunned.
Granted, this seems like common sense to perhaps people in the west. But, what is common sense? Common sense is just what people around you would most likely do or know. To Japanese, instead of sitting there by yourself figuring it out (which is what an American would do), common sense is to get into a group and discuss it. This is what kids do in class (gasp I've been asked a question in English...CONFERENCE!) and it is also common sense to them to not think outside of the box but to use things for their intended purpose. A NAIL....AS A HANDLE!!! SAY IT ISN'T SO!
This makes it sound like I'm criticizing but in a way I'm not. In some situations this would be a great idea. As a group some things just get done faster and more heads together is better than one. The west conception of doing it yourself and reaping all the rewards makes people pompous and pig headed, not wanting to ask for help. Also when you fuck up since it's all on you, your more inclined to hid it.
Still, it was measuring tape and it tooke 6 people to wind it.....holy shit! I guess it was a nice excuse to sit under the shade out of the blazing death sun...so perhaps thats the real reason...
2007年8月8日水曜日
One years past..................No, I do mean past, not passed.
Well then, honesty time. I did write past intending to write passed, but instantly noticed my mistake and thought this way made it sound more introspective, like looking at the past year vs simply saying a year has passed.
Anyhow on to the real post! It has been one year since I've been in Fukuoka. Theoretically I left Hawaii on the 6th, but I landed up in Tokyo and really I don't count that for much. Sure there was all the good-byes and such, but really only my dad went and he didn't even see me off, he kinda just unloaded my bags and drove off. =/
I really remember stepping off that plane into 35 (95) degree heat, to this day all sorts of in-between temperatures in my mind are in Fahrenheit but whenever I get to crazy extremes that we just about never experience in Hawaii it switches to Celsius. I find that amusing. I could not tell you how cold it gets in Fukuoka, at least not in Fahrenheit, because all I knew was the Celsius and since I never experience something analogous I can only think of what I experienced, which was Celsius.
Thats basically how Japan was for me this past year. So many things were new. Not just in the, wow it's Japan and so different! Its like a totally different thing! NO! It's basically Kristen has never experienced this before I only know of Japan version.
From living on my own, working a full time job, buying my own car insurance, planning my own international trips, etc. Everything is new to me, and in that way it's almost hard to explain my Japan experience because really it's more like explaining my life on my own, period.
I find a lot of JET's like to complain about certain aspects of Japan, like their home country is so much better, and the way they do things are wrong or stupid. But because I've barely experienced things other wise I keep a really open mind to almost everything that happens. Granted I DO find gross stupidity, but I can't fathom that NOT happening in America. I mean I'm from a land where a sizable percentage of people don't believe in Evolution, or global warming, they think the war in Iraq is justified due to Saddhams connections to Al Quida and WMD's (neither of which is true), and a place where is no universal health care. wow.
But, I suppose in that respect I can't judge them. I'm going on just assumptions (of how certain things would be like in America), and thats what I often do and I'm trying to change that. Still, I think bitching won't solve things and instead of changing things to meet your whims you just need to realize there are a lot of dumb things every country does and accept your a foreigner in a different land. You can protect your rights and keep your own culture but stepping all over another one simply because they do things the way your not used to?
I came to Japan to grow up and to better myself. Living in Hawaii all my life was really living in a bubble. I was protected by so many harsh things that exist almost everywhere else in the world. Not just weather extremes, but a job, surviving on my own, not having a swath of friends going back 3 connections deep "hooking" everything up. All these things are basically the easy way of getting out and it's simply not looked down upon in Hawaii. It's perfectly fine asking a friend to let you into a club, get you a job, live with your parents till you 30 and other things that just protect our citizens from realities of life.
Keeping that in mind, I posted in March about all the things I've accomplished and back then it seems like big deals, but thinking about it further, thinking on the goals I wanted to achieve when I first got here, I still have so much more to go.
I came here wanting to get fluent in Japanese, really fluent in Japanese. I really don't feel like I have been improving AT ALL, and in some ways I SWEAR I am getting worse. My grammar is just going down the tubes, because I don't feel the need to use perfect grammar to get my thought through. Also my kanji reading is just horrible at this point, I basically am not like how I was in Hawaii. Because Japanese reading material is EVERYWHERE, I don't feel the need to read, I feel like I get enough in the day to day life. But then there is so much I am missing out and/or forgetting. And I know the reason, I need to study. Just living here does not insure you get fluent, my base level was already high functioning and when I get to places where its a bit complicated most people either dumb it down or I just give up.
Also vegetable eating is pretty stagnant, I still really can't choke down much. And since I feel like I've come far enough I just kinda quit.....
And thats the major problem. I always feel like I need to do things, but once I get to a certain point of proficiency I quit. I not only get bored at it, but also mastering something, getting good at something takes a lot of effort and I still have a hard time pushing myself like that. I like being able to do things easily, with no effort, and I hate acknowledging that certain things are hard for me.
I rather just give up at those things than even start. And one year worth of my past, I look back and still see that pattern. Not just one year, but two, three, ten. I really need to push myself to the limit. And studying is one of them, but not just that everything. Push myself to do the things I KNOW I need to do, not get distracted by other things.
As a note though, seeing as Fukuoka is about 4 times larger than the entire island of Oahu and beyond that are about 5 prefectures all 4-5 times bigger than Oahu, while I do get massively lost I do try my best to look for things. And I've gotten ok at reading Maps. I really want to get better at directions, but good lord I still confuse left and right at times......BAH!
But that just about me, Japan and Fukuoka is wonderful. And my school, while I get sick of it and feel I don't make a difference I think I need to keep going on the way I've chosen. I used to want the students to realize English is fun, so I just played games really. And a lot of students did like me, but this year I make lessons based on content that often fail because even though I've been here for a year it's my first time making such lessons. Also because students aren't used to such lessons themselves. And bas relations and communications with my teachers, etc. I want them to speak English, so maybe games are the way. But, teacher's don't bring you to class if you just play games. I got to classes about twice as much as I did in the previous year, and while they tend to fail a lot more just listening to me just about every week is a help.
Also Fukuoka, oh Fukuoka. The fashion and the hair still shock me. Though it takes a lot to do it. Especially when it's one of my first year students and her dress hem is so high, the train master is looking up it, and yet cut so low when shes talking to you, you can see her BRIGHT PINK FLOWER bra every time she moves her head down more than 3 inches. BAH! But, I like living in a suburb of a metropolis. I like living in a polite society, while it can be over polite and I had sending letter of thanks for letter's of thanks, its really nice knowing when you drop your wallet 9/10 times some one will pick it up and give it to you.
And JET's, while some of us just bitch (myself included....another thing I REALLY need to cut down on) A lot of the people I met were wonderful. I never though I could meet so many different people and get along with them. That I think is the biggest difference from Hawaii. Meeting new people with new idea's, who are adventurous, not in the way that may kill me but in the way that makes me feel refreshed.
And that is for my new friends. I don't really have family here in Japan, and for me my friends have really become that support for me. I feel like I can be so harsh, and I still have a major attitude problem (and superiority complex..bah) So I feel like, I just give them the short end of the stick all the time, but I'm so happy they are here for me.
I'm kinda miffed at being block head, but I'm happy I can give them something back. I'm happy I can help some one else, like so many other have helped me. And I'm happy to be here, even though I am on try number three of the impossibly hard driving test of Japan. And even though my sister is here so I can't hang out with my friends as much. Even though I am so lazy, with so much to do, and still have so much more to go on improving myself, I am just so happy to be here.
Anyhow on to the real post! It has been one year since I've been in Fukuoka. Theoretically I left Hawaii on the 6th, but I landed up in Tokyo and really I don't count that for much. Sure there was all the good-byes and such, but really only my dad went and he didn't even see me off, he kinda just unloaded my bags and drove off. =/
I really remember stepping off that plane into 35 (95) degree heat, to this day all sorts of in-between temperatures in my mind are in Fahrenheit but whenever I get to crazy extremes that we just about never experience in Hawaii it switches to Celsius. I find that amusing. I could not tell you how cold it gets in Fukuoka, at least not in Fahrenheit, because all I knew was the Celsius and since I never experience something analogous I can only think of what I experienced, which was Celsius.
Thats basically how Japan was for me this past year. So many things were new. Not just in the, wow it's Japan and so different! Its like a totally different thing! NO! It's basically Kristen has never experienced this before I only know of Japan version.
From living on my own, working a full time job, buying my own car insurance, planning my own international trips, etc. Everything is new to me, and in that way it's almost hard to explain my Japan experience because really it's more like explaining my life on my own, period.
I find a lot of JET's like to complain about certain aspects of Japan, like their home country is so much better, and the way they do things are wrong or stupid. But because I've barely experienced things other wise I keep a really open mind to almost everything that happens. Granted I DO find gross stupidity, but I can't fathom that NOT happening in America. I mean I'm from a land where a sizable percentage of people don't believe in Evolution, or global warming, they think the war in Iraq is justified due to Saddhams connections to Al Quida and WMD's (neither of which is true), and a place where is no universal health care. wow.
But, I suppose in that respect I can't judge them. I'm going on just assumptions (of how certain things would be like in America), and thats what I often do and I'm trying to change that. Still, I think bitching won't solve things and instead of changing things to meet your whims you just need to realize there are a lot of dumb things every country does and accept your a foreigner in a different land. You can protect your rights and keep your own culture but stepping all over another one simply because they do things the way your not used to?
I came to Japan to grow up and to better myself. Living in Hawaii all my life was really living in a bubble. I was protected by so many harsh things that exist almost everywhere else in the world. Not just weather extremes, but a job, surviving on my own, not having a swath of friends going back 3 connections deep "hooking" everything up. All these things are basically the easy way of getting out and it's simply not looked down upon in Hawaii. It's perfectly fine asking a friend to let you into a club, get you a job, live with your parents till you 30 and other things that just protect our citizens from realities of life.
Keeping that in mind, I posted in March about all the things I've accomplished and back then it seems like big deals, but thinking about it further, thinking on the goals I wanted to achieve when I first got here, I still have so much more to go.
I came here wanting to get fluent in Japanese, really fluent in Japanese. I really don't feel like I have been improving AT ALL, and in some ways I SWEAR I am getting worse. My grammar is just going down the tubes, because I don't feel the need to use perfect grammar to get my thought through. Also my kanji reading is just horrible at this point, I basically am not like how I was in Hawaii. Because Japanese reading material is EVERYWHERE, I don't feel the need to read, I feel like I get enough in the day to day life. But then there is so much I am missing out and/or forgetting. And I know the reason, I need to study. Just living here does not insure you get fluent, my base level was already high functioning and when I get to places where its a bit complicated most people either dumb it down or I just give up.
Also vegetable eating is pretty stagnant, I still really can't choke down much. And since I feel like I've come far enough I just kinda quit.....
And thats the major problem. I always feel like I need to do things, but once I get to a certain point of proficiency I quit. I not only get bored at it, but also mastering something, getting good at something takes a lot of effort and I still have a hard time pushing myself like that. I like being able to do things easily, with no effort, and I hate acknowledging that certain things are hard for me.
I rather just give up at those things than even start. And one year worth of my past, I look back and still see that pattern. Not just one year, but two, three, ten. I really need to push myself to the limit. And studying is one of them, but not just that everything. Push myself to do the things I KNOW I need to do, not get distracted by other things.
As a note though, seeing as Fukuoka is about 4 times larger than the entire island of Oahu and beyond that are about 5 prefectures all 4-5 times bigger than Oahu, while I do get massively lost I do try my best to look for things. And I've gotten ok at reading Maps. I really want to get better at directions, but good lord I still confuse left and right at times......BAH!
But that just about me, Japan and Fukuoka is wonderful. And my school, while I get sick of it and feel I don't make a difference I think I need to keep going on the way I've chosen. I used to want the students to realize English is fun, so I just played games really. And a lot of students did like me, but this year I make lessons based on content that often fail because even though I've been here for a year it's my first time making such lessons. Also because students aren't used to such lessons themselves. And bas relations and communications with my teachers, etc. I want them to speak English, so maybe games are the way. But, teacher's don't bring you to class if you just play games. I got to classes about twice as much as I did in the previous year, and while they tend to fail a lot more just listening to me just about every week is a help.
Also Fukuoka, oh Fukuoka. The fashion and the hair still shock me. Though it takes a lot to do it. Especially when it's one of my first year students and her dress hem is so high, the train master is looking up it, and yet cut so low when shes talking to you, you can see her BRIGHT PINK FLOWER bra every time she moves her head down more than 3 inches. BAH! But, I like living in a suburb of a metropolis. I like living in a polite society, while it can be over polite and I had sending letter of thanks for letter's of thanks, its really nice knowing when you drop your wallet 9/10 times some one will pick it up and give it to you.
And JET's, while some of us just bitch (myself included....another thing I REALLY need to cut down on) A lot of the people I met were wonderful. I never though I could meet so many different people and get along with them. That I think is the biggest difference from Hawaii. Meeting new people with new idea's, who are adventurous, not in the way that may kill me but in the way that makes me feel refreshed.
And that is for my new friends. I don't really have family here in Japan, and for me my friends have really become that support for me. I feel like I can be so harsh, and I still have a major attitude problem (and superiority complex..bah) So I feel like, I just give them the short end of the stick all the time, but I'm so happy they are here for me.
I'm kinda miffed at being block head, but I'm happy I can give them something back. I'm happy I can help some one else, like so many other have helped me. And I'm happy to be here, even though I am on try number three of the impossibly hard driving test of Japan. And even though my sister is here so I can't hang out with my friends as much. Even though I am so lazy, with so much to do, and still have so much more to go on improving myself, I am just so happy to be here.
2007年8月1日水曜日
Quarantined.....LULz
So, I notice I start almost EVERY post with So...and today shall be no different. Anyway on to the POST!
Summer days have started and my school being the low-mid academic school it is, required all its students to come for about a week half of Houshu. This means optional mandatory lessons. School runs for half days for about two weeks, and seeing as about 80% of the school body is in a club a bunch of students go to club. (Which in Japan includes sports)
Third years aren't allowed to do clubs as they have COLLEGE ENTRANCE exams, which are not like SATs, they are intense crazy things and you have to take one for every school you apply to. So its really intense and they basically have to come to school everyday. I feel sorry for them, also their summer vacation is filled with Sports day planning. Since, the school has about an 80% participation rate in clubs you'd think we'd have a huge culture festival as well, but no. My school does have an 80% participation rate in clubs, but about 85% of that is in sports clubs. I'd say about 9% is band (which is just about the most successful club) and then 6% the rest. So basically so few people are in "culture" clubs, our school just does not have culture festival....sadness. So third years are also hard core training and planning for sports day, since it's the only thing we have.
Where does this lead me, well to boredom. I had some things to do, like making lesson plans, creating this listening test, working on my drivers license, getting a new car, and planning the presentation I'm set to give on the 20th to new ALT's. WELL! That stuff is not that hard to do. I spend about an hour doing each of those things. And my driver's license itself is a practical test which I must go to the center to do it (I've failed once so far, I'm praying it only takes me 3 times >.<)
So, I basically sit in the office DOING NOTHING! It's really bad, I planned to study, to read to do SOMETHING productive, but instead I just sit here doing nothing. Today is the first day that there is no houshu for second or first years, and the school should be alive with students training. But it's not really alive.
Second years were SUPPOSED to go on a training trip (it's basically like camp, but instead of fun it's full of studying) Unfortunately on the second day some students came down with a very high fever. They also found out 3 students who couldn't go due to getting sick were actually infected with the measles. Apparently, since measles has been all but wiped out in Japan, they no longer require students to take the vaccine shots. So, basically a bunch of them are infected little death traps.
They came back from their training/infectious doom trip, cut 2 days short, yesterday. They made the entire school clear out by 3 and hurdled them into the building. All the teacher left to help out, but honestly I've never caught the measles and the last time I got a measles shot was something like 15 years ago. I basically stayed at my desk till enough of them left school to the point where I felt safe.
Now I'm all paranoid, that I'm infected.......ew. This summer has just felt very uncomfortable. I don't get along well with any teacher and as always my conversations with all teachers feel strained and off. It's like I'm not sure what to say or how to react and when I do it naturally they get them same vibe. I am just not meshing well right now. But as today there is no houshu for first years most teachers are not here, and the second years are in quarantine, apparently it's a highy infectious disease something like 90% of those in contact with an infected person will catch it (baring they are not immune. I'm stuck with even less to do.
I should go and play sports with some students, all their sempai's are gone and I'm sure they are just bumming a bit. BUT, I went to the gym after a very long time and massively re-injured my left knee. Popping sounds abound, and its a bit painful to do.....well anything requiring my knee. Ahh, what a silly summer.
I really wish I could concentrate more, but I am just a lazy ass. I blame you internets. With your secret haxor web sites, and anonymous lulz. I did get to see the Simpsons movie and MAN was it AWSOME! It was a fan cam, but still great! I really hope it gets to Japan, I wouldn't mind at paying to see that....but enough of this rant on to MOAR rants....but less schizo.
Notes: AKA skip the rant read this!
Japanese students are really good at carpooling. All the second years came back from their trip and had to be quarantined. So their parents were set to pick them up, keep in mind this was at 3:30-4 in the afternoon so realistically some parents would have a very hard time doing this. So amazingly ton's of kids got rides from friends parents. Car were filled up with 3-4 people, in fact just about every one. And I thought aloud "So this is how car pooling is supposed to work" My old supervisor (who I got on with decently) said "isn't car pooling from America?" And I thought about it, and realized the movement was born in America and thus responded, "Yeah, but no one actually does it" GO AMERICA!
My SUP, wow! So as you know from previous posts, my sister and mom came to visit me. My mom stayed for two weeks and has already left (thanks to her my house is ALMOST clean, and with new and cool much needed stuff I was too cheap to buy), but my sister is here for another two weeks....and she invited one of her friends to stay in my house for a week. Yeah....WTF. Anyhow, this person wanted to play badminton, so my supervisor happens to be one of those teachers who head badminton. I asked him when they practice and if this person could come. He was jazzed and said that the students would be practicing from the morning. I reconfirmed it was at 8:30 because looking at the schedule he had in hand, that I was also looking at, it appeared to me that practice started at 1. He insisted it was at 8:30, so I figured I was just reading this paper wrong. So I show up the next day with said "friend" and lo and behold, their practice IS in the afternoon. Also he is taking vacation time today, so I can't even go ARGH to him. GO FIGURE! Sometimes I wonder if he is just fucking with me, or he is just really this out of it. I somehow lean toward to later, but maybe I just am hoping I'm not that disliked.
Friends: I wish I could go out with my friends when my sister or mom is here, but really they are semi hopeless and I have to cart them around everywhere. My sister was semi complaining about her friend saying, "How inconvenient, and rude it was for him to be coming for an ENTIRE WEEK! Man, should be more shameful about these things" When I said I knew the feeling she of course was highly insulted got angry and said things to the effect of going home etc. Of course shes still here, and of course it's because she's "Family" Family can be inconvenient and they can be irritating, and sometimes I hate to say I wonder why we have all these obligations, bah! Miss hanging out with Yamato, and Shinnae's just come into town but alas I'm stuck.
Car driving: I suck at it! Man I hope I can pass in three go's, cross your fingers and wish me luck!
DOOM: I have scary rashes and really bad skin lately I pray it's the heat...........I REALLY do not want measles.
Another note, I am getting a new car! w00t, it's supposedly all good to go, but I'm a bit sketchy I'll be picking it up this weekend, so need to cancel my insurance get new insurance and all sorts of ugh. Oh well, we'll see how it goes.
AND FINALLY FINALLY!!! I am horribly bored, and unproductive but through some magical bull shit, I am now Blockhead (co-chaired), AJET representative, and presenter at FUKUOKA HS JET orientation. Crazy times...
Summer days have started and my school being the low-mid academic school it is, required all its students to come for about a week half of Houshu. This means optional mandatory lessons. School runs for half days for about two weeks, and seeing as about 80% of the school body is in a club a bunch of students go to club. (Which in Japan includes sports)
Third years aren't allowed to do clubs as they have COLLEGE ENTRANCE exams, which are not like SATs, they are intense crazy things and you have to take one for every school you apply to. So its really intense and they basically have to come to school everyday. I feel sorry for them, also their summer vacation is filled with Sports day planning. Since, the school has about an 80% participation rate in clubs you'd think we'd have a huge culture festival as well, but no. My school does have an 80% participation rate in clubs, but about 85% of that is in sports clubs. I'd say about 9% is band (which is just about the most successful club) and then 6% the rest. So basically so few people are in "culture" clubs, our school just does not have culture festival....sadness. So third years are also hard core training and planning for sports day, since it's the only thing we have.
Where does this lead me, well to boredom. I had some things to do, like making lesson plans, creating this listening test, working on my drivers license, getting a new car, and planning the presentation I'm set to give on the 20th to new ALT's. WELL! That stuff is not that hard to do. I spend about an hour doing each of those things. And my driver's license itself is a practical test which I must go to the center to do it (I've failed once so far, I'm praying it only takes me 3 times >.<)
So, I basically sit in the office DOING NOTHING! It's really bad, I planned to study, to read to do SOMETHING productive, but instead I just sit here doing nothing. Today is the first day that there is no houshu for second or first years, and the school should be alive with students training. But it's not really alive.
Second years were SUPPOSED to go on a training trip (it's basically like camp, but instead of fun it's full of studying) Unfortunately on the second day some students came down with a very high fever. They also found out 3 students who couldn't go due to getting sick were actually infected with the measles. Apparently, since measles has been all but wiped out in Japan, they no longer require students to take the vaccine shots. So, basically a bunch of them are infected little death traps.
They came back from their training/infectious doom trip, cut 2 days short, yesterday. They made the entire school clear out by 3 and hurdled them into the building. All the teacher left to help out, but honestly I've never caught the measles and the last time I got a measles shot was something like 15 years ago. I basically stayed at my desk till enough of them left school to the point where I felt safe.
Now I'm all paranoid, that I'm infected.......ew. This summer has just felt very uncomfortable. I don't get along well with any teacher and as always my conversations with all teachers feel strained and off. It's like I'm not sure what to say or how to react and when I do it naturally they get them same vibe. I am just not meshing well right now. But as today there is no houshu for first years most teachers are not here, and the second years are in quarantine, apparently it's a highy infectious disease something like 90% of those in contact with an infected person will catch it (baring they are not immune. I'm stuck with even less to do.
I should go and play sports with some students, all their sempai's are gone and I'm sure they are just bumming a bit. BUT, I went to the gym after a very long time and massively re-injured my left knee. Popping sounds abound, and its a bit painful to do.....well anything requiring my knee. Ahh, what a silly summer.
I really wish I could concentrate more, but I am just a lazy ass. I blame you internets. With your secret haxor web sites, and anonymous lulz. I did get to see the Simpsons movie and MAN was it AWSOME! It was a fan cam, but still great! I really hope it gets to Japan, I wouldn't mind at paying to see that....but enough of this rant on to MOAR rants....but less schizo.
Notes: AKA skip the rant read this!
Japanese students are really good at carpooling. All the second years came back from their trip and had to be quarantined. So their parents were set to pick them up, keep in mind this was at 3:30-4 in the afternoon so realistically some parents would have a very hard time doing this. So amazingly ton's of kids got rides from friends parents. Car were filled up with 3-4 people, in fact just about every one. And I thought aloud "So this is how car pooling is supposed to work" My old supervisor (who I got on with decently) said "isn't car pooling from America?" And I thought about it, and realized the movement was born in America and thus responded, "Yeah, but no one actually does it" GO AMERICA!
My SUP, wow! So as you know from previous posts, my sister and mom came to visit me. My mom stayed for two weeks and has already left (thanks to her my house is ALMOST clean, and with new and cool much needed stuff I was too cheap to buy), but my sister is here for another two weeks....and she invited one of her friends to stay in my house for a week. Yeah....WTF. Anyhow, this person wanted to play badminton, so my supervisor happens to be one of those teachers who head badminton. I asked him when they practice and if this person could come. He was jazzed and said that the students would be practicing from the morning. I reconfirmed it was at 8:30 because looking at the schedule he had in hand, that I was also looking at, it appeared to me that practice started at 1. He insisted it was at 8:30, so I figured I was just reading this paper wrong. So I show up the next day with said "friend" and lo and behold, their practice IS in the afternoon. Also he is taking vacation time today, so I can't even go ARGH to him. GO FIGURE! Sometimes I wonder if he is just fucking with me, or he is just really this out of it. I somehow lean toward to later, but maybe I just am hoping I'm not that disliked.
Friends: I wish I could go out with my friends when my sister or mom is here, but really they are semi hopeless and I have to cart them around everywhere. My sister was semi complaining about her friend saying, "How inconvenient, and rude it was for him to be coming for an ENTIRE WEEK! Man, should be more shameful about these things" When I said I knew the feeling she of course was highly insulted got angry and said things to the effect of going home etc. Of course shes still here, and of course it's because she's "Family" Family can be inconvenient and they can be irritating, and sometimes I hate to say I wonder why we have all these obligations, bah! Miss hanging out with Yamato, and Shinnae's just come into town but alas I'm stuck.
Car driving: I suck at it! Man I hope I can pass in three go's, cross your fingers and wish me luck!
DOOM: I have scary rashes and really bad skin lately I pray it's the heat...........I REALLY do not want measles.
Another note, I am getting a new car! w00t, it's supposedly all good to go, but I'm a bit sketchy I'll be picking it up this weekend, so need to cancel my insurance get new insurance and all sorts of ugh. Oh well, we'll see how it goes.
AND FINALLY FINALLY!!! I am horribly bored, and unproductive but through some magical bull shit, I am now Blockhead (co-chaired), AJET representative, and presenter at FUKUOKA HS JET orientation. Crazy times...
2007年7月10日火曜日
How is this legal?!?!
So today is class match...again. Apperantly my school likes to have class match whenever there is a free day where my school feels like we don't need to study lets just force the student to play sports. It's tsuyu (or rainy season) so the chances of it raining were really high but we decided to go through with it anyhow.
I have never seen hand ball in my life and the girls of the first year were going to play it. I've seen the kids play soccer and volley ball before so I was content without watching it. Also the 2nen boys were going to play basketball but since that was in the gym apart from all the other sports I didn't really watch it.
I did start off watching with the hand ball girls and forced them to talk to me a bit. I was happy two girls from class six kept on trying to talk to me because normally I have the worst lessons in that class. I mean painfully horribly bad lessons. Yet, the girl was really jazzed to talk so I did. Later on class 2 girls insists I cheer for them so I thought, eh they asked why not. So I go on and cheer for them, bad idea because later on they play against class 7 a class I really like, basically my best class. Oh well.
I also try to check out softball, but my lord inept softball is the worst thing to watch in the world. Its SUPER slow, nothing ever happens, the girls suck at pitching and hitting so it lands up with like 3 balls, 5 fouls and 2 strikes, and then 5 minutes later the girl gets a hit it comically goes through the pitchers legs and all sorts of madness ensues. While periodically really funny it was INSANELY boring.
So I go back to watching the girl's hand ball. 2kumi girls lose, and I decide to cheer for class 8. Its a very random decisions but I decide to cheer because it looks like they are going to lose and I like cheering for the underdog. So during a game with class 7, which is a strong class girls start getting hurt like insane. I mean hand ball is not that tennis like sport where you use your hand to hit a squishy ball against a wall, its this intense FULL CONTACT rugby like game. The rules are silly, you have to bounce the ball like basketball, but you throw the ball into a net guarded by a goalie like soccer. Though the net is very simular to soccer, you must jump when you throw it...its kinda strange. But tackles (not legal) often occure and the girls got full on contact.
So soon a super genki fun girl I enjoy talking to get hurt. Though shes the manager for the track and field team she is RAPING at this game. She basically the top score getter in her team, and she appears to pull her calf. Its obviously painful but she get injured right at the break, it looks bad but before I know it shes back out. And everytime she scores she looks to be in INTENSE pain. Amazingly through all this she is still smiling.
In the end their team wins, but they have to play another TWO GAMES! The next one, their other top scorer injures her arm after a girl runs in to her during a score chance. She drops into the floor ouch! Another girl cuts open her lip, but decided to keep on playing since another girl has split open her under eye area. Whats worse is ANOTHER girl pulls her calf. This girl tries to fight but isnt as strong as genki girl.
Genki girl is still playing and in the final game I decide holy shit no one is attempting to help her. The teachers think well even though shes on the ground rolling in pain the fact she keeps on going back into the game means shes ok. So I go and get ice, and when I give it to her in the break she says shes fine. WHAT! Her teams mates are so worried they are like forcing the ice onto her leg. Its crazy! Their team is leading and in the final minute of the game on a point chance she once again lands hard on her foot. Her friend basically drags her out of the game. The game ends and they win! And this girl is in tears at first I think its because shes SOOO HAPPY they have won, but no later on I find shes BAWLING because she couldn't last to the very end.
I mean she played for basically an hour on a pulled calf, and yet she stood there in the middle of the field crying, bawling, a lot of the girls on the winning team walked off without smiles but grimaces of pain. The male class mates are cheering and whooping around, but most of the girls were asking for water, ice, and mirrors to assess their injuries. Did I mention it had started down pouring in the last game and everyone was soaked, most teacher ran into the shelter but seeing the kids playing their hearts out I stood out in the rain. In the end the genki girl was standing with her friend BAWLING in the middle of the feild, in the pouring raint, it was like a scene from a bad movie.
Feeling a bit bitter, I tried to cheer genki girl up and through her tears she managed a smile. But wow, how is this legal! 2 split lips, 2 pulled calves, a cut under the eye, and an injured shoulder they had won. And as they limped off the field in the POURING RAIN I once again wondered, HOW THE HELL IS THIS LEGAL?!?!?!
On the softball ground the winning teams were facing off when a sudden FREAK DOWN pour started, they all headed into the one shelter in the middle of the field, but they were essentially stuck. The rain was not only fierce eventually half the girls had to pull up the supports and move it to accommodate the teachers and remaining girls. It was insane, again wow this is legal?!! Why do we keep on doing this?! Its funny the girls who were winning for the softball in the end landed up stuck in the pouring rain, while the "losers" were nice and dry in their classes eating.
I can't believe they do this, and tomorrow I will ask the girls of class 8 if it is really worth it. Somehow I can't believe it. I may post pics......maybe, maybe... as a note I actually have very few, most were videos and its kinda bimyou, but hopefully you can get the feel.
I have never seen hand ball in my life and the girls of the first year were going to play it. I've seen the kids play soccer and volley ball before so I was content without watching it. Also the 2nen boys were going to play basketball but since that was in the gym apart from all the other sports I didn't really watch it.
I did start off watching with the hand ball girls and forced them to talk to me a bit. I was happy two girls from class six kept on trying to talk to me because normally I have the worst lessons in that class. I mean painfully horribly bad lessons. Yet, the girl was really jazzed to talk so I did. Later on class 2 girls insists I cheer for them so I thought, eh they asked why not. So I go on and cheer for them, bad idea because later on they play against class 7 a class I really like, basically my best class. Oh well.
I also try to check out softball, but my lord inept softball is the worst thing to watch in the world. Its SUPER slow, nothing ever happens, the girls suck at pitching and hitting so it lands up with like 3 balls, 5 fouls and 2 strikes, and then 5 minutes later the girl gets a hit it comically goes through the pitchers legs and all sorts of madness ensues. While periodically really funny it was INSANELY boring.
So I go back to watching the girl's hand ball. 2kumi girls lose, and I decide to cheer for class 8. Its a very random decisions but I decide to cheer because it looks like they are going to lose and I like cheering for the underdog. So during a game with class 7, which is a strong class girls start getting hurt like insane. I mean hand ball is not that tennis like sport where you use your hand to hit a squishy ball against a wall, its this intense FULL CONTACT rugby like game. The rules are silly, you have to bounce the ball like basketball, but you throw the ball into a net guarded by a goalie like soccer. Though the net is very simular to soccer, you must jump when you throw it...its kinda strange. But tackles (not legal) often occure and the girls got full on contact.
So soon a super genki fun girl I enjoy talking to get hurt. Though shes the manager for the track and field team she is RAPING at this game. She basically the top score getter in her team, and she appears to pull her calf. Its obviously painful but she get injured right at the break, it looks bad but before I know it shes back out. And everytime she scores she looks to be in INTENSE pain. Amazingly through all this she is still smiling.
In the end their team wins, but they have to play another TWO GAMES! The next one, their other top scorer injures her arm after a girl runs in to her during a score chance. She drops into the floor ouch! Another girl cuts open her lip, but decided to keep on playing since another girl has split open her under eye area. Whats worse is ANOTHER girl pulls her calf. This girl tries to fight but isnt as strong as genki girl.
Genki girl is still playing and in the final game I decide holy shit no one is attempting to help her. The teachers think well even though shes on the ground rolling in pain the fact she keeps on going back into the game means shes ok. So I go and get ice, and when I give it to her in the break she says shes fine. WHAT! Her teams mates are so worried they are like forcing the ice onto her leg. Its crazy! Their team is leading and in the final minute of the game on a point chance she once again lands hard on her foot. Her friend basically drags her out of the game. The game ends and they win! And this girl is in tears at first I think its because shes SOOO HAPPY they have won, but no later on I find shes BAWLING because she couldn't last to the very end.
I mean she played for basically an hour on a pulled calf, and yet she stood there in the middle of the field crying, bawling, a lot of the girls on the winning team walked off without smiles but grimaces of pain. The male class mates are cheering and whooping around, but most of the girls were asking for water, ice, and mirrors to assess their injuries. Did I mention it had started down pouring in the last game and everyone was soaked, most teacher ran into the shelter but seeing the kids playing their hearts out I stood out in the rain. In the end the genki girl was standing with her friend BAWLING in the middle of the feild, in the pouring raint, it was like a scene from a bad movie.
Feeling a bit bitter, I tried to cheer genki girl up and through her tears she managed a smile. But wow, how is this legal! 2 split lips, 2 pulled calves, a cut under the eye, and an injured shoulder they had won. And as they limped off the field in the POURING RAIN I once again wondered, HOW THE HELL IS THIS LEGAL?!?!?!
On the softball ground the winning teams were facing off when a sudden FREAK DOWN pour started, they all headed into the one shelter in the middle of the field, but they were essentially stuck. The rain was not only fierce eventually half the girls had to pull up the supports and move it to accommodate the teachers and remaining girls. It was insane, again wow this is legal?!! Why do we keep on doing this?! Its funny the girls who were winning for the softball in the end landed up stuck in the pouring rain, while the "losers" were nice and dry in their classes eating.
I can't believe they do this, and tomorrow I will ask the girls of class 8 if it is really worth it. Somehow I can't believe it. I may post pics......maybe, maybe... as a note I actually have very few, most were videos and its kinda bimyou, but hopefully you can get the feel.
2007年7月5日木曜日
Non- Rant w00t!
So the past 4 or so posts have essentially been rants (some more cleverly disguised than others.. o.0) So today I decided the post on some non-rant things. Of course things other than school life goes on in Japan. And what kind of expat living in Japan would I be if I did not post on the DEATH WEATHER!!!!!!!
So a lot of Japanese people consider Hawaii's weather to be "All-year round summer". Knowing this I have no idea why they come to my State. Japan's summers are the worst things I've experienced....in my life! I mean its so hot and sticky you can see it in the air. It's like San Francisco fog, but instead of cold and wet (and note, the hotter it gets the more moisture can be held in the air) its hot and disgusting!
My friend from England taught me a word, minging, it means disgusting. It's a bit hard to explain but every time its death hot/humid (and they always come in pairs) he uses this word. And doesn't it just sound icky? So with that I've felt like a giant disgusting monster, sweating up a storm.
For this reason aloung with the fact I swear the Japanese themselves do not sweat (I figure from years of natural selection, where only the least disgusting non-sweaters can get mates in the summer time) I have had to buy arm-pit pads. Thats right, its much akin to those things you stick in your undies when your on the rag, except! their for your arm pits!
More proof that the Japanese themselves don't sweat is these arm-pit pads are not easy to find. I saw them by chance last year but since I came to Japan in August (the tail end of DEATH HOT) I didn't think I needed it. Also before I stopped to plugging up my arm pits with pads, I actually did try Japanese antiperspirant. It did not work out so well, as in it didn't work at all. A bad thing since I thought oh I'm using the antiperspirant, I'll wear my gray shirt today! Man, one of the worst idea's ever.
Also, I do not think I am a sweaty beast, in Hawaii I NEVER used antiperspirant, or deodorant. And I didn't sweat much at all. Then again I do have a unique physiology, I don't sweat at all until I hit a certain critical mass and then its like the flood gates open and I'm a sweaty mess.
Well, anyhow that my current aside, so now armed with my armpit pads I can now dare to wear such sexy numbers as uniqlo light blue shirt number 2. (As a note my fashion sense has failed to improve in Japan..)
Another random aside before I go, yesterday was the Fourth of July, and while I do not fancy myself as patriot I went to a mini party to celebrate, and all I can say is damn is Yoshii Machi far, and holy crap I should not do that when I KNOW I have to make two lesson plans and have 3 classes back to back in the morning. That aside, I have to say it went pretty well considering but I now have a headache.
Oh, and one last thing, my parents are coming holy crap! My apartment is a mess, I still need to get stuff for them. So all I can really think about now is getting my party on, because once they hit, I will be doing anything but partying. (most likely crying in the corner)
So a lot of Japanese people consider Hawaii's weather to be "All-year round summer". Knowing this I have no idea why they come to my State. Japan's summers are the worst things I've experienced....in my life! I mean its so hot and sticky you can see it in the air. It's like San Francisco fog, but instead of cold and wet (and note, the hotter it gets the more moisture can be held in the air) its hot and disgusting!
My friend from England taught me a word, minging, it means disgusting. It's a bit hard to explain but every time its death hot/humid (and they always come in pairs) he uses this word. And doesn't it just sound icky? So with that I've felt like a giant disgusting monster, sweating up a storm.
For this reason aloung with the fact I swear the Japanese themselves do not sweat (I figure from years of natural selection, where only the least disgusting non-sweaters can get mates in the summer time) I have had to buy arm-pit pads. Thats right, its much akin to those things you stick in your undies when your on the rag, except! their for your arm pits!
More proof that the Japanese themselves don't sweat is these arm-pit pads are not easy to find. I saw them by chance last year but since I came to Japan in August (the tail end of DEATH HOT) I didn't think I needed it. Also before I stopped to plugging up my arm pits with pads, I actually did try Japanese antiperspirant. It did not work out so well, as in it didn't work at all. A bad thing since I thought oh I'm using the antiperspirant, I'll wear my gray shirt today! Man, one of the worst idea's ever.
Also, I do not think I am a sweaty beast, in Hawaii I NEVER used antiperspirant, or deodorant. And I didn't sweat much at all. Then again I do have a unique physiology, I don't sweat at all until I hit a certain critical mass and then its like the flood gates open and I'm a sweaty mess.
Well, anyhow that my current aside, so now armed with my armpit pads I can now dare to wear such sexy numbers as uniqlo light blue shirt number 2. (As a note my fashion sense has failed to improve in Japan..)
Another random aside before I go, yesterday was the Fourth of July, and while I do not fancy myself as patriot I went to a mini party to celebrate, and all I can say is damn is Yoshii Machi far, and holy crap I should not do that when I KNOW I have to make two lesson plans and have 3 classes back to back in the morning. That aside, I have to say it went pretty well considering but I now have a headache.
Oh, and one last thing, my parents are coming holy crap! My apartment is a mess, I still need to get stuff for them. So all I can really think about now is getting my party on, because once they hit, I will be doing anything but partying. (most likely crying in the corner)
2007年6月29日金曜日
RANT!!!
So I've been pretty M.I.A. for awhile, and there is a reason, I've had no internet at school. And it sounds horrible but in my downtime I seriously bum around on the internet....a lot. Not to say that I have nothing to do, I am in charge with checking all 360 students English folders and access their participation, its basically either a yes or no thing, but man is that hard to access. Also I have had all these surprise lessons, and such so all the more lesson plans to make. But even with that, my days have been rather dull. I often zoom through whatever they give me and then proceed to bum around reading things. I've read almost every Time and Newsweek magazine I have front to back. Even the letters to the magazine, but that usually because I have to wait till after school to help students on various things. So I often just wait to do or get work, which I know is coming and thus somehow feel obliged to wait till 5:15 (an hour overtime that I volunteer)
This isn't to say that I do not have things I want to rant on, which is why I'm blogging. So I finally fix my internet, about 2 weeks after it blinked off. I had told my supervisor about it maybe a day of two after it happened. About a week later nothing had been done, so finally I decided to ask the computer guy myself. To which I find hes a bit of a goober, he basically did everything I initially did (check the cables, check my isp, check my hardware, etc) and then he goes well I'm stumped. As a note I did this all in Japanese, with some confusion but then over all muddled through it. Eventually I managed to fix it myself, it was the LAN cable in the end, even though our tech guy "checked" it and assured me it was fine... (uh-huh)
The other thing that really has been miffing me is the ineptitude of my Sup. Most ALT's usually have to run everything through their supervisor first and that person is their direct superior. They are also the person who is supposed to take care of us, as some of us have minimal Japanese ability and understanding of the culture. Mine has taken a decidedly hands off approach. I knew I was in trouble when mine was assigned to me earlier in the year, as he was the only JTE who would actively ignore me (as when I said OHAYO GOZAIMASU in the morning he'd just look away and kinda run)
So in the beginning things like meetings, sudden changes in schedules would be a "SUPRISE Kristen" type thing as my Sup would fail to inform me of its happenings. It was really bad when he neglected to tell me that I would have to come to school on a Saturday and teach classes, thankfully this was a month into his tenor, so I had come to realize I really need to struggle and try to read as much as I can on my ALL JAPANESES schedule, and I myself came to realize that I had to come in on Saturday.
I eventually came and told him please tell me what is going on, I'm not Japanese I can't read 80% of everything that is written down on my schedule, or on the board. As the first time I asked him about what was happening he assured me that everything is written on the board and to just read it. (Another slight problem MANY teachers think I'm a second Generation Japanese person thus FLUENT in the language, damn it I have six years of Japanese 4 of which were High school, seriously I should be as bad as my students are at English)
So it got a little better, occasionally he'd tell me that something was going on, though periodically I'd be in the teachers room only to look up from whatever I was doing and realize...no one is there.
Another irritant was the fact that he seemed to have no clue what he was doing. Like when I had to go to a meeting, I have to fill out of form informing the school that I would be gone for a certain amount of time. Though I knew how to do this, and had been doing it myself for almost a year he insisted he help me. When I initially gave him what I wrote he INSISTED I type it up on the computer. Then he had an insane time attempting to resize said document on the computer, half an hour later I was still sitting there staring at him fiddling with this document. By now it had been over half an hour since the end of work, so I finally said don't worry I'll do it! Bad idea, since I actually can't read everything that's on the form. So then I spend half an hour trying to figure out how to type in all these words. In the end I finally print it out and he said its good, but when I give it to the Vice-Principle he said "Oh, you don't need this, it's too early for this" So all that work was for nothing, and I leave work something like an hour half late. After this I just stopped giving him that paper and just gave it directly to the vice principal.
So minor things that I eventually go around or over, but in the last week some HUGE things have happened. So at the beginning of Summer when my classes have ended, there was going to be a seminar for JTE's. There was a certain number of JET's needed for this seminar, but it was completely volunteer. I was jazzed at the idea of getting out and talking to other JTE's and learning more about how school's work, as I'm still clueless on a lot of things and simply wanted to learn more. So, I immediately filled out the form and then asked my supervisor if it would be OK to go, we checked my schedule and he thought about it and thought that there should be no problem. So I told him to please fax the paper.
A week later I get an e-mail, informing me that the seminar filled up unexpectedly early as the response from the JET's this year was overwhelming, those who had already sent the paper was fine and were in. I was slightly worried at this point as I had gotten no confirmation mail. I was then really worried when I noticed that my Sup was only NOW sending my application for Japanese courses, when I gave him the form over 3 weeks ago.
So I was initially going to ask the person who was collecting our applications, but since I had no internet I decided to just ask my Sup. Then the bomb dropped, he at first thought I was talking about my Japanese courses, to which I had to slowly explain it was something else, something I gave him only a week previous. I asked if he had even the vaguest recollection of this conversation (of course in MUCH simpler terms), and he said he had no idea. So I slowly explained what the paper looked like, and what it was about.
He really looked clueless at this point, so I gave him the other papers and he slowly, slowly looked through them. So he then starts shuffling through his files and insists after a thorough search that he doesn't have it. I KNOW I gave it to him, so I start trying to jog his memory as I remember what happened when I gave him the paper. He then kinda remembers our talk about possible scheduling conflicts, to which he looks underneath his schedule on the top of his desk, lo and behold it was there.
He had not sent it, he had not even read through it. So even though the number was there and the fax number and even the dead line he was content to let it be forgotten under a piece of paper. I then tell him to forget about it because the deadline had passed. But on the paper it says the deadline is the 29th. So I tell him I got an email saying it had closed early, its full. But he keeps on insisting the deadline is the 29th. So 10 minutes later I tell him to please just forget it, it's really too late. An hour of pure fail and pain.
So I'm really miffed at this. I actually wanted to go to this, quite a bit in fact. So even though we are theoretically supposed to send a lot of these forms through our supervisor, I seriously do not want to. This is just another reason to get better at Japanese, especially work place Japanese and work place Kanji. It's irritating because a lot of those words are rather esoteric, thing I won't really need outside of this setting of teaching English, and things that are not easily used or comprehended. And not only that, the job of a Sup is to help me get through all this stuff, instead hes the exact opposite he actually hinders me! And I'm not even sure if I can even send a lot of these papers myself as it actually says on many of them "Give this to your supervisor"
Also combined with the fact that teachers have been asking me to do even more bull shit things is starting to bug me. Instead of just teaching classes, more and more I'm asked to grade things and make tests and give tests, and I'm wondering if it's just because teachers themselves don't want to do it. I'm starting to think they are treating me like the part time teachers. In a way I should work hard, I do get paid for it, and it's good practice for the real world and all that stuff. But, when I look at other JET's, and I look at my contract I wonder.
I KNOW the Japanese teachers work harder than me, and the reason they dump this stuff on me is because they are busy. But lately I certainly leave later than quite a few other English teachers, and I am not a teacher. I do not get paid as well as them, I do not get as many vacation days as them, AND I'm not Japanese! This is against my culture to work this much over time and not get paid, and to do things that are not written in my contract, yet are requested of me. ALSO, fine its good practice for my Japanese I realize this, I SHOULD be trying harder at my Japanese but damn it JUST USE ENGLISH! I don't always understand what the teachers tell me, and yet they almost always break down and use Japanese with me.
I sometimes really believe a lot of ALT's are just bitches. If it was the real world we would not complain about the things we do, or perhaps we would but really would we complain about these things in the "real world". I wonder if I am just bitching about something that I'm just going to have to deal with the rest of my life and that just because I've never worked a real full time job I just don't realize that this is how it's like.
Perhaps that is true, but really is this what I signed up for? I hate to say it, but I wanted a job that I could have fun at, I wanted a good experience of Japan, all I seem to be experiencing now is how shitty it is to be a teacher in Japan. Also I think a lot of this work would be easier if I was fluent in not only Japanese language but in Japanese culture. (I think I've offended some teachers, but I'm unsure if I did, or even how I did...)
Last year I actually felt bad for people like Yamato who had WAY more work than me. Granted I definitely did not have the lightest load of all JET's, far from it I actually taught quite a few more classes than most other high school JET's. So I actually asked teacher's to give me more work, and it's nice to know they trust me and I'd feel like a heel if I suddenly went, "Oh sorry work really does suck, I don't want to do it." But damn it, I really just am hating this. Even with all this complaining and extra "work", here I am sitting down and blogging. Can I really bitch....man I'm unsure what this rant was all about and I'm just as conflicted as before. If you reader have somehow managed to read through this gobbly gook, then please tell me what you think. I am really at a lost.
This isn't to say that I do not have things I want to rant on, which is why I'm blogging. So I finally fix my internet, about 2 weeks after it blinked off. I had told my supervisor about it maybe a day of two after it happened. About a week later nothing had been done, so finally I decided to ask the computer guy myself. To which I find hes a bit of a goober, he basically did everything I initially did (check the cables, check my isp, check my hardware, etc) and then he goes well I'm stumped. As a note I did this all in Japanese, with some confusion but then over all muddled through it. Eventually I managed to fix it myself, it was the LAN cable in the end, even though our tech guy "checked" it and assured me it was fine... (uh-huh)
The other thing that really has been miffing me is the ineptitude of my Sup. Most ALT's usually have to run everything through their supervisor first and that person is their direct superior. They are also the person who is supposed to take care of us, as some of us have minimal Japanese ability and understanding of the culture. Mine has taken a decidedly hands off approach. I knew I was in trouble when mine was assigned to me earlier in the year, as he was the only JTE who would actively ignore me (as when I said OHAYO GOZAIMASU in the morning he'd just look away and kinda run)
So in the beginning things like meetings, sudden changes in schedules would be a "SUPRISE Kristen" type thing as my Sup would fail to inform me of its happenings. It was really bad when he neglected to tell me that I would have to come to school on a Saturday and teach classes, thankfully this was a month into his tenor, so I had come to realize I really need to struggle and try to read as much as I can on my ALL JAPANESES schedule, and I myself came to realize that I had to come in on Saturday.
I eventually came and told him please tell me what is going on, I'm not Japanese I can't read 80% of everything that is written down on my schedule, or on the board. As the first time I asked him about what was happening he assured me that everything is written on the board and to just read it. (Another slight problem MANY teachers think I'm a second Generation Japanese person thus FLUENT in the language, damn it I have six years of Japanese 4 of which were High school, seriously I should be as bad as my students are at English)
So it got a little better, occasionally he'd tell me that something was going on, though periodically I'd be in the teachers room only to look up from whatever I was doing and realize...no one is there.
Another irritant was the fact that he seemed to have no clue what he was doing. Like when I had to go to a meeting, I have to fill out of form informing the school that I would be gone for a certain amount of time. Though I knew how to do this, and had been doing it myself for almost a year he insisted he help me. When I initially gave him what I wrote he INSISTED I type it up on the computer. Then he had an insane time attempting to resize said document on the computer, half an hour later I was still sitting there staring at him fiddling with this document. By now it had been over half an hour since the end of work, so I finally said don't worry I'll do it! Bad idea, since I actually can't read everything that's on the form. So then I spend half an hour trying to figure out how to type in all these words. In the end I finally print it out and he said its good, but when I give it to the Vice-Principle he said "Oh, you don't need this, it's too early for this" So all that work was for nothing, and I leave work something like an hour half late. After this I just stopped giving him that paper and just gave it directly to the vice principal.
So minor things that I eventually go around or over, but in the last week some HUGE things have happened. So at the beginning of Summer when my classes have ended, there was going to be a seminar for JTE's. There was a certain number of JET's needed for this seminar, but it was completely volunteer. I was jazzed at the idea of getting out and talking to other JTE's and learning more about how school's work, as I'm still clueless on a lot of things and simply wanted to learn more. So, I immediately filled out the form and then asked my supervisor if it would be OK to go, we checked my schedule and he thought about it and thought that there should be no problem. So I told him to please fax the paper.
A week later I get an e-mail, informing me that the seminar filled up unexpectedly early as the response from the JET's this year was overwhelming, those who had already sent the paper was fine and were in. I was slightly worried at this point as I had gotten no confirmation mail. I was then really worried when I noticed that my Sup was only NOW sending my application for Japanese courses, when I gave him the form over 3 weeks ago.
So I was initially going to ask the person who was collecting our applications, but since I had no internet I decided to just ask my Sup. Then the bomb dropped, he at first thought I was talking about my Japanese courses, to which I had to slowly explain it was something else, something I gave him only a week previous. I asked if he had even the vaguest recollection of this conversation (of course in MUCH simpler terms), and he said he had no idea. So I slowly explained what the paper looked like, and what it was about.
He really looked clueless at this point, so I gave him the other papers and he slowly, slowly looked through them. So he then starts shuffling through his files and insists after a thorough search that he doesn't have it. I KNOW I gave it to him, so I start trying to jog his memory as I remember what happened when I gave him the paper. He then kinda remembers our talk about possible scheduling conflicts, to which he looks underneath his schedule on the top of his desk, lo and behold it was there.
He had not sent it, he had not even read through it. So even though the number was there and the fax number and even the dead line he was content to let it be forgotten under a piece of paper. I then tell him to forget about it because the deadline had passed. But on the paper it says the deadline is the 29th. So I tell him I got an email saying it had closed early, its full. But he keeps on insisting the deadline is the 29th. So 10 minutes later I tell him to please just forget it, it's really too late. An hour of pure fail and pain.
So I'm really miffed at this. I actually wanted to go to this, quite a bit in fact. So even though we are theoretically supposed to send a lot of these forms through our supervisor, I seriously do not want to. This is just another reason to get better at Japanese, especially work place Japanese and work place Kanji. It's irritating because a lot of those words are rather esoteric, thing I won't really need outside of this setting of teaching English, and things that are not easily used or comprehended. And not only that, the job of a Sup is to help me get through all this stuff, instead hes the exact opposite he actually hinders me! And I'm not even sure if I can even send a lot of these papers myself as it actually says on many of them "Give this to your supervisor"
Also combined with the fact that teachers have been asking me to do even more bull shit things is starting to bug me. Instead of just teaching classes, more and more I'm asked to grade things and make tests and give tests, and I'm wondering if it's just because teachers themselves don't want to do it. I'm starting to think they are treating me like the part time teachers. In a way I should work hard, I do get paid for it, and it's good practice for the real world and all that stuff. But, when I look at other JET's, and I look at my contract I wonder.
I KNOW the Japanese teachers work harder than me, and the reason they dump this stuff on me is because they are busy. But lately I certainly leave later than quite a few other English teachers, and I am not a teacher. I do not get paid as well as them, I do not get as many vacation days as them, AND I'm not Japanese! This is against my culture to work this much over time and not get paid, and to do things that are not written in my contract, yet are requested of me. ALSO, fine its good practice for my Japanese I realize this, I SHOULD be trying harder at my Japanese but damn it JUST USE ENGLISH! I don't always understand what the teachers tell me, and yet they almost always break down and use Japanese with me.
I sometimes really believe a lot of ALT's are just bitches. If it was the real world we would not complain about the things we do, or perhaps we would but really would we complain about these things in the "real world". I wonder if I am just bitching about something that I'm just going to have to deal with the rest of my life and that just because I've never worked a real full time job I just don't realize that this is how it's like.
Perhaps that is true, but really is this what I signed up for? I hate to say it, but I wanted a job that I could have fun at, I wanted a good experience of Japan, all I seem to be experiencing now is how shitty it is to be a teacher in Japan. Also I think a lot of this work would be easier if I was fluent in not only Japanese language but in Japanese culture. (I think I've offended some teachers, but I'm unsure if I did, or even how I did...)
Last year I actually felt bad for people like Yamato who had WAY more work than me. Granted I definitely did not have the lightest load of all JET's, far from it I actually taught quite a few more classes than most other high school JET's. So I actually asked teacher's to give me more work, and it's nice to know they trust me and I'd feel like a heel if I suddenly went, "Oh sorry work really does suck, I don't want to do it." But damn it, I really just am hating this. Even with all this complaining and extra "work", here I am sitting down and blogging. Can I really bitch....man I'm unsure what this rant was all about and I'm just as conflicted as before. If you reader have somehow managed to read through this gobbly gook, then please tell me what you think. I am really at a lost.
2007年6月14日木曜日
Wow
So its been awhile. A lot has happened in this month that I have been inactive. I went to Kobe on a re-contracting trip, basically I am paid to dick around and listen to really boring pretty useless lectures. (But there were a few gems that I felt were totally worth it) I've had some of the worst classes I have ever had as a teacher. Including a 2 hour death lesson where the teacher surprised me by completely leaving the class up to me for the two hours and sat down with the students taking notes. I had an hour lesson plan assuming she would teach them for an hour, but NO! Just two hours of me dying the kids hating the lesson and etc.
Also me and my first years have not been meshing. I've been trying to be more serious and actually teach them "complicated" things. To which other ALT's insist are things they should have learned in middle school, but of course my students just land up staring at me with blank faces, while I strugle vainly with hand motions. The kids completely don't understand and I get frustrated. And eventually break down and tell the teacher to translate. (Something I LOATHED to do, but recently found that was not only the only way to get them to participate but also because I was too tired to make the effort) But today things came to ahead.
I've been feeling akward in class lately and today I realized why. The kids are unnervingly quiet in class and thats strange for me. They are either dead quiet when I'm talking which makes me FIGHT to bring the energy up, which merely confuses them. And when they get loud I get angry because they are normally getting loud about unrelated to class things (because they don't understand the lesson at all). Or the entire class is dead silent for the entire hour and by the end of the day I feel completely wiped out trying my best to keep them amused enough to stay awake. But actually I've been telling them from the beginning to be quiet and just listen, so it was like some sort paradigm.
So, today my first class was REALLY loud and active. But I didn't mind at all. They were participating and talking and some kids were not understanding, and to be honest I made a few mistakes but the class had a rhythm and I enjoyed it, the kids seemed to as well. I actually do not mind when the kids are kinda loud and every so often I have to tell them " BE QUIET" But at least they were talking about the lesson and smiling.
I was trying to be more strict with my students ala Matt, then I tried to make more lessons more structured like Yamato's. (Take a subject and teach it to the class while they sit there periodically coming to the board, which may not be her teaching stye just what she did that instance I went) I was going out away from the style I had built up last year because I did not feel it was best for my students.
But you can only fight yourself for so long. Today I enjoyed the lessons (well more like compared to the other HORROR ones I've been having lately) and I should have another good class (knock on wood) its a class similar to the previous one. While this will not mean that my classes will go from now on, I won't try to force someone else's idea of what a good lesson is on to myself. While maybe its not the best formula to teaching these kids, trying to reach some impossible idea is just wearing me out. And its making me frazzled all the time, I've been very emotional and I am a person who DOES NOT LIKE BEING EMOTIONAL. So, I'm going to go with this slightly chaotic class format, with us jumping to various activities and some kids getting a little confused. But its alot better than Kristen getting angry, the students being really confused and scared, and maybe the JTE's will be struggling to keep up, at least they won't have a Kristen DREADING classes and fearing school.
On another not my parents are coming soon, I am somewhat fearful.... Also while I have come upon this revelation I am still unsure what to teach the students...hopefully thing will fall into place soon enough. I think I may teach them about travel, it should tie in nicely with my next semesters project (knock on wood AGAIN) With this I think I do have the energy to continue with English club. I feel suddenly energized, even more so than when I came back from Kobe. (Where I was energized but still unsure of myself) I can do this......I CAN!
Also I have finally finished oral testing! I have lunches and after schools back! YAY~! (I've been not eating lunch and staying to school to 5:30-6:30 every day, basically at least an hour over time to over 2 hours overtime everyday.)
I also may write more, as days I felt like writing just depressed me too much, I felt insecure and just primed for a BITCH-fest if I had to write. So now hopefully things will go well, but of course there is never a guarantee, so expect bitching! Such is the lot of an ALT.
Also me and my first years have not been meshing. I've been trying to be more serious and actually teach them "complicated" things. To which other ALT's insist are things they should have learned in middle school, but of course my students just land up staring at me with blank faces, while I strugle vainly with hand motions. The kids completely don't understand and I get frustrated. And eventually break down and tell the teacher to translate. (Something I LOATHED to do, but recently found that was not only the only way to get them to participate but also because I was too tired to make the effort) But today things came to ahead.
I've been feeling akward in class lately and today I realized why. The kids are unnervingly quiet in class and thats strange for me. They are either dead quiet when I'm talking which makes me FIGHT to bring the energy up, which merely confuses them. And when they get loud I get angry because they are normally getting loud about unrelated to class things (because they don't understand the lesson at all). Or the entire class is dead silent for the entire hour and by the end of the day I feel completely wiped out trying my best to keep them amused enough to stay awake. But actually I've been telling them from the beginning to be quiet and just listen, so it was like some sort paradigm.
So, today my first class was REALLY loud and active. But I didn't mind at all. They were participating and talking and some kids were not understanding, and to be honest I made a few mistakes but the class had a rhythm and I enjoyed it, the kids seemed to as well. I actually do not mind when the kids are kinda loud and every so often I have to tell them " BE QUIET" But at least they were talking about the lesson and smiling.
I was trying to be more strict with my students ala Matt, then I tried to make more lessons more structured like Yamato's. (Take a subject and teach it to the class while they sit there periodically coming to the board, which may not be her teaching stye just what she did that instance I went) I was going out away from the style I had built up last year because I did not feel it was best for my students.
But you can only fight yourself for so long. Today I enjoyed the lessons (well more like compared to the other HORROR ones I've been having lately) and I should have another good class (knock on wood) its a class similar to the previous one. While this will not mean that my classes will go from now on, I won't try to force someone else's idea of what a good lesson is on to myself. While maybe its not the best formula to teaching these kids, trying to reach some impossible idea is just wearing me out. And its making me frazzled all the time, I've been very emotional and I am a person who DOES NOT LIKE BEING EMOTIONAL. So, I'm going to go with this slightly chaotic class format, with us jumping to various activities and some kids getting a little confused. But its alot better than Kristen getting angry, the students being really confused and scared, and maybe the JTE's will be struggling to keep up, at least they won't have a Kristen DREADING classes and fearing school.
On another not my parents are coming soon, I am somewhat fearful.... Also while I have come upon this revelation I am still unsure what to teach the students...hopefully thing will fall into place soon enough. I think I may teach them about travel, it should tie in nicely with my next semesters project (knock on wood AGAIN) With this I think I do have the energy to continue with English club. I feel suddenly energized, even more so than when I came back from Kobe. (Where I was energized but still unsure of myself) I can do this......I CAN!
Also I have finally finished oral testing! I have lunches and after schools back! YAY~! (I've been not eating lunch and staying to school to 5:30-6:30 every day, basically at least an hour over time to over 2 hours overtime everyday.)
I also may write more, as days I felt like writing just depressed me too much, I felt insecure and just primed for a BITCH-fest if I had to write. So now hopefully things will go well, but of course there is never a guarantee, so expect bitching! Such is the lot of an ALT.
2007年5月24日木曜日
IM CRAZY
After telling almost every teacher for a year, I'll GO TO ANY CLASS! I'm SO BORED! GIVE ME THINGS TO DO! Teachers have started complying. With various business trips and mid-terms in between, I've been extra busy. As some supervising people have been real shitty with keeping tabs on my schedule and as a result I've had to Jam an entire weeks worth of lessons in to 3 days. I taught "only" three classes today, and will teach 5 tomorrow, and I taught 4 the day before. Fun!
Also I have for some reason agreed to forgo my lunch times and to stay late possibly past 6 (2 hours after I my work day ends) to proctor listening exams. Wait did I say proctor? I mean give them, evaluate them and basically do all the work. And since I am not actually their teacher, nor will it fit in my schedule to actually go to their class, I have to jam 40 students in between my lunch and after school for about two weeks...Lately I've been feeling like a real teacher.
The problem with me becoming more like a real teacher is I haven't really been an ALT to the kids. My lessons have been down right boring (difficult and educational), and instead of me randomly bugging students and being jolly with them, I've been getting irritated at their sloppy work and loudness. I've been less tolerant of them going crazy, and getting down on students with bad attitudes.
Before I felt the most important thing was to be nice to even bad students and win them over with kindness. But, this year I am trying to really teach them things, really get them to improve and really I just can't let them run wild and distract the other students, which happened a lot last year.
In some ways I think it can work, but in other ways its making me re-evaluate what it means to be an ALT. A lot of times I swear we are just dancing monkeys for them, and while I'm certainly not a human tape recorder, I am becoming just another Japanese teacher. Its really kinda sad and daunting, but I can't just let them run wild and let them have fun like before. Especially for the third years, who I am teaching with A LOT! I feel bad that some of them who would smile and be happy to see me have just been giving me perfunctory greetings.
But, I am hoping something ANYTHING I teach them will help them. But really I am unsure it is, because even though teachers tell me my students level is not bad (and recently I am even beginning to believe them) its just too difficult to learn grammar points and complex English rules with NO Japanese equivalent or translation. I sometimes feel I am talking into walls, or just boring the students into TEARS... I don't think I am filling them with more love of English, but reinforcing the fact that English is hard and boring. BAH!
Though I have been working like a teacher, and doing all the things regular teachers do, in the end I am not a teacher. These are the first third lessons I have had to give, and they are the first grammar lessons I have had to give, the first oral tests, the first essay tests, and I am DAMN unsure of myself.
Also since I am really busy grading things and doing things for the third years I have not been to a single second year class! I really miss those second year kids, when they see my in the halls ways they are really surprised and seem happy. (Not all of them keep in mind, but quite a few I got along with well) But I am usually walking to another class, or walking toward the teachers room to prepare for another class. So I don't talk to them even thought I wish I could. And while they are second years I feel that it's still OK to go to their class and let them have SOME fun. (Since hey their classes are boring and I swear ANYTHING I teach them would be better than what some of the other second year teachers teach...)
I thought getting more work and being more serious would increase my job satisfaction and bring down boredom. However, now days even when I have things to do I feel bored the second I have down time, BUT when I have my days jam packed I am frazzled and easily irritated. I just can't seem to win! Sadness...
On a very happy note, I met one girl in the first year who is PAINFULLY SHY! She would not even sit down near other students without me specifically guiding her. And when I started my introduction game she sat down by herself not doing anything. So I went to her to talk and suddenly other students started talking to her to ask her questions (you need to ask as many people as you can to win) and they seemed to know how shy she was and initially avoided her. However, she was soon laughing and talking with alot of students. At the end of class she still walked out by herself, but when I talked to her and asked her some questions she actually answered me. And I was happy, she seemed to have a good time.
Sadly, her class is annoying, and they have some boy students with really bad attitudes who talk shit about me as I walk by, and refuse to listen and stop talking when I am explaining the lesson. There are some girls who are really into the game but then they also won't shut up. Basically it's a loud and somewhat unruly class and they get me the most frazzled and irritated. Especially the shit talking boys, it's to the point where I can't wait to leave just so I can turn to them and mouth off in Japanese, I UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING YOU SAID YOU LITTLE SHIT HEADS!
Ugh, what happened to the days when I could just laugh it off!!! I used to just go oh, silly children! BAH!
Also I have for some reason agreed to forgo my lunch times and to stay late possibly past 6 (2 hours after I my work day ends) to proctor listening exams. Wait did I say proctor? I mean give them, evaluate them and basically do all the work. And since I am not actually their teacher, nor will it fit in my schedule to actually go to their class, I have to jam 40 students in between my lunch and after school for about two weeks...Lately I've been feeling like a real teacher.
The problem with me becoming more like a real teacher is I haven't really been an ALT to the kids. My lessons have been down right boring (difficult and educational), and instead of me randomly bugging students and being jolly with them, I've been getting irritated at their sloppy work and loudness. I've been less tolerant of them going crazy, and getting down on students with bad attitudes.
Before I felt the most important thing was to be nice to even bad students and win them over with kindness. But, this year I am trying to really teach them things, really get them to improve and really I just can't let them run wild and distract the other students, which happened a lot last year.
In some ways I think it can work, but in other ways its making me re-evaluate what it means to be an ALT. A lot of times I swear we are just dancing monkeys for them, and while I'm certainly not a human tape recorder, I am becoming just another Japanese teacher. Its really kinda sad and daunting, but I can't just let them run wild and let them have fun like before. Especially for the third years, who I am teaching with A LOT! I feel bad that some of them who would smile and be happy to see me have just been giving me perfunctory greetings.
But, I am hoping something ANYTHING I teach them will help them. But really I am unsure it is, because even though teachers tell me my students level is not bad (and recently I am even beginning to believe them) its just too difficult to learn grammar points and complex English rules with NO Japanese equivalent or translation. I sometimes feel I am talking into walls, or just boring the students into TEARS... I don't think I am filling them with more love of English, but reinforcing the fact that English is hard and boring. BAH!
Though I have been working like a teacher, and doing all the things regular teachers do, in the end I am not a teacher. These are the first third lessons I have had to give, and they are the first grammar lessons I have had to give, the first oral tests, the first essay tests, and I am DAMN unsure of myself.
Also since I am really busy grading things and doing things for the third years I have not been to a single second year class! I really miss those second year kids, when they see my in the halls ways they are really surprised and seem happy. (Not all of them keep in mind, but quite a few I got along with well) But I am usually walking to another class, or walking toward the teachers room to prepare for another class. So I don't talk to them even thought I wish I could. And while they are second years I feel that it's still OK to go to their class and let them have SOME fun. (Since hey their classes are boring and I swear ANYTHING I teach them would be better than what some of the other second year teachers teach...)
I thought getting more work and being more serious would increase my job satisfaction and bring down boredom. However, now days even when I have things to do I feel bored the second I have down time, BUT when I have my days jam packed I am frazzled and easily irritated. I just can't seem to win! Sadness...
On a very happy note, I met one girl in the first year who is PAINFULLY SHY! She would not even sit down near other students without me specifically guiding her. And when I started my introduction game she sat down by herself not doing anything. So I went to her to talk and suddenly other students started talking to her to ask her questions (you need to ask as many people as you can to win) and they seemed to know how shy she was and initially avoided her. However, she was soon laughing and talking with alot of students. At the end of class she still walked out by herself, but when I talked to her and asked her some questions she actually answered me. And I was happy, she seemed to have a good time.
Sadly, her class is annoying, and they have some boy students with really bad attitudes who talk shit about me as I walk by, and refuse to listen and stop talking when I am explaining the lesson. There are some girls who are really into the game but then they also won't shut up. Basically it's a loud and somewhat unruly class and they get me the most frazzled and irritated. Especially the shit talking boys, it's to the point where I can't wait to leave just so I can turn to them and mouth off in Japanese, I UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING YOU SAID YOU LITTLE SHIT HEADS!
Ugh, what happened to the days when I could just laugh it off!!! I used to just go oh, silly children! BAH!
2007年5月21日月曜日
But I speak English!
Mid-terms have come, and I am starting to grade papers. I have an intensive oral communications class and hilariously the section I must grade is an essay. Sadly, I often find myself doubting the validity of my corrections. I am admittedly atrocious at grammar.
In High School I was recommended for Honors and AP English, 3 times. Each time I bombed out due to the fact I was HIDEOUS at grammar. My essays which I thought were rather well written, often were docked SERIOUS points due to my grammar. Run-ons sentences, fragments, improper usage, my essays had them all.
The fact that I was even going to Japan to teach English was a bit of a joke to my friends. So today, the teachers were joking with each other at how many students were writing down, "She speaks a little English". They even joked to me about it. And I had to second guess myself for a long while, thinking "I say that ALL the time" But in all seriousness, Hawaii is not known for it's proper English. And I know our colloquial English breaks down almost all grammar rules.
But, with a bit of temerity I challenged them, saying" I think that's right" They gave me a confounded look to which I said more sternly, "I'm almost certain thats correct." In the end I had enough doubt to call up Matt to reconfirm my assertion. Thankfully I was right, they even looked it up in the dictionary and found a sentence almost identical.
Though grammar is my weak point, and I am from a place where spoken English is no where close to proper, I think I need to trust my ability to speak English. That is after all what I am here for. Also I think this is the clearest sign that I need to speak English properly. I often am offended when friends correct my English, I think "Stop being such a Nazi"! But, as an English teacher we should be careful, least we really do teach them something horrible. I'd feel mighty awful if they failed their tests simply because my spoken English is such rubbish. So I am thinking of asking my parents to send me up a grammar book for English speakers.... I wonder how all you other JETs are doing.
Please respond, and from you Hawaii people, what do you think about your English?
In High School I was recommended for Honors and AP English, 3 times. Each time I bombed out due to the fact I was HIDEOUS at grammar. My essays which I thought were rather well written, often were docked SERIOUS points due to my grammar. Run-ons sentences, fragments, improper usage, my essays had them all.
The fact that I was even going to Japan to teach English was a bit of a joke to my friends. So today, the teachers were joking with each other at how many students were writing down, "She speaks a little English". They even joked to me about it. And I had to second guess myself for a long while, thinking "I say that ALL the time" But in all seriousness, Hawaii is not known for it's proper English. And I know our colloquial English breaks down almost all grammar rules.
But, with a bit of temerity I challenged them, saying" I think that's right" They gave me a confounded look to which I said more sternly, "I'm almost certain thats correct." In the end I had enough doubt to call up Matt to reconfirm my assertion. Thankfully I was right, they even looked it up in the dictionary and found a sentence almost identical.
Though grammar is my weak point, and I am from a place where spoken English is no where close to proper, I think I need to trust my ability to speak English. That is after all what I am here for. Also I think this is the clearest sign that I need to speak English properly. I often am offended when friends correct my English, I think "Stop being such a Nazi"! But, as an English teacher we should be careful, least we really do teach them something horrible. I'd feel mighty awful if they failed their tests simply because my spoken English is such rubbish. So I am thinking of asking my parents to send me up a grammar book for English speakers.... I wonder how all you other JETs are doing.
Please respond, and from you Hawaii people, what do you think about your English?
2007年5月8日火曜日
China...re-take
So unlike an intelligent person going to sleep early, I am still up at 12:30 reading others blogs. I realized Yamato, Matt, et all have returned from Laos and decided to read up on their blogs. Yamato gave a rather terse entry, but Matt wrote up quite a bit. Their trip seemed heavenly, and it got me thinking about China. And I suppose I decided to think back on the good of China. (It really wasn't ALL bad)
One thing that Matt seemed to talk a lot about was the reverence and general kindness of people. I found that kindness and reverence was lacking in China. From the people flat out ignoring pleas of help when we were lost, to the carelessness of people throwing piles of garbage on the great wall. But, there where times were I was amazed at the Chinese people.
Going to the Lama temple I was amazed to see what kind of people where praying with fervor. Many had bought insane amounts of incense to burn at every statue, every shrine etc. They prayed to all four corners and they bowed their heads low in their prayers, making sure to touch their foreheads to the ground. I was rather amazed as many of those who were the most sincere seeming in their prayers were young. Perhaps in their twenties, possibly my own age. I was not sure, but it made me glad to see that the youth was not completely disaffected.
Sadly, the Lama temple itself was steeped in commercialism. The people who came had loads of incense which they bought at inflated prices in the temple. At every step were plaques commemorating this or that, and while there were monks they seemed more prudent to show around big wigs or prevent the crush of foreign and local tourists from taking pictures. Prayers were not said aloud by waiting monks but was instead pre-recorded and blasted from a near by speaker.
Other temples were more of the same. The white-jade Buddha temple was a rather big joke. You had to pay once to get into the actual temple, which was more like an overblown gift shop. Then had to pay again to see the jade Buddha. There instead of a monk praying, was a woman there ready to sell you anointed oils which you could offer up to the statue. It made me feel like I was watching some sort of selling of absolutions.
On the other hand, another rather touching sight was on the great wall. While standing in line amidst garbage and shoving attendants who literally shoved you into the trolley up the wall and literally ripped you out (Sheenae can attest and she was actually flung into a wall!) I saw an extremely elderly couple. They were skinny, aged, and toothless, their faces and especially their teeth bore signs of the hardship of their life. But they could not have been more happy to have been on the wall. They were both full of toothless grins looking around them, almost giddy that they were actually about to ascend the wall. I had no idea what they were saying, but they spoke excitedly to their son. Their son was obviously a success, one of the new rich of China. Unlike his parents who were tanned, and slight he was rather portly and white, he sported a gold watch and a digital camera. He seemed rather proud that he could not only afford to bring his family and parents to the wall but also that he could afford to take them up in style via the trolley.
Mao said that one could only become a true hero after he had climbed the wall, and I'm sure that couples son felt like a hero. Granted the wall itself was a let down, with the crush of people, the obvious disregard for sanitation (walking into on of the fortifications you were instantly smothered by the smell of pee, since toilets were far and few between most seemingly took it upon themselves to pee in the most convenient dark place.) but seeing that couple made me smile.
People often complain that the Japanese are so polite one can never get a feel of their true intention. While this may be true, I felt like the Chinese were so openly rude and seemingly full of contempt for us foreigners that I could not get a feel for ...well anything. I stopped seeing them as simply a different culture, but could only see how rude they were. I really tried my best to see them in a good light, as it's horrible to judge an entire people based on a single experience, but it seemed at each junction of my trip that the people let me down.
Matt's journey seemed to reaffirm his trust in humanity and the innate goodness of people, sadly China has seemingly done the opposite for me. I have never felt that an entire people could be so collectively mean. Even in restaurants and in the hotels the workers seemed to treat you more of a nuisance than a valued costumer. The concierge was especially telling when he brushed us off when we asked him questions, he gave a rather brusque and quite terse answer to our question before sending us off... I then dropped him a rather generous tip in yen. He promptly chased us down, gave us a map and listing of nice restaurants and called a taxi for us. It seemed the only time people were nice was when money was being flashed. In the market people called us friends, till you bartered them down low enough then they would often throw things down in frustration and throw you the product before greedily snatching away your money. Even beggars on the street would come up to you begging "give me money" and would get rather testy with you when you simply ignored them.
But I suppose it's easy for me to judge them from my position of well off child born in a first world country. The people in the markets were obviously intelligent, walking the aisles of rip off goods I heard French, English, Russian, even Spanish spoken by the various sellers. These men and women seemed to be the cream of the crop and yet were reduced to open barter of knock off goods. The Chinese are trying to merely catch up to us, the traffic, the cars, the money the power, they want it all. Maybe they are ready to sacrifice the niceties to get there?
I'm honestly not sure where I am going with this, but I want to believe the Chinese are not that bad... but seeing poster in Beijing warning its citizens not spit in the street, the let children poop in front of others, not to beat your wife in public or leave your children unattended, I just have a hard time giving them slack. I have a hard time looking past the extremely brusque seemingly exploitive people I met and seeing the good in them.
This trip was great in showing me how good it is to be in Japan, but also horrible in showing me how people can be... and worse yet I feel guilty thinking the inevitable "how uncivilized, how backwards" that I now feel about China. This trip did make me reflect a lot, not just about myself but about people and where this world is going today, and it makes me sad...
One thing that Matt seemed to talk a lot about was the reverence and general kindness of people. I found that kindness and reverence was lacking in China. From the people flat out ignoring pleas of help when we were lost, to the carelessness of people throwing piles of garbage on the great wall. But, there where times were I was amazed at the Chinese people.
Going to the Lama temple I was amazed to see what kind of people where praying with fervor. Many had bought insane amounts of incense to burn at every statue, every shrine etc. They prayed to all four corners and they bowed their heads low in their prayers, making sure to touch their foreheads to the ground. I was rather amazed as many of those who were the most sincere seeming in their prayers were young. Perhaps in their twenties, possibly my own age. I was not sure, but it made me glad to see that the youth was not completely disaffected.
Sadly, the Lama temple itself was steeped in commercialism. The people who came had loads of incense which they bought at inflated prices in the temple. At every step were plaques commemorating this or that, and while there were monks they seemed more prudent to show around big wigs or prevent the crush of foreign and local tourists from taking pictures. Prayers were not said aloud by waiting monks but was instead pre-recorded and blasted from a near by speaker.
Other temples were more of the same. The white-jade Buddha temple was a rather big joke. You had to pay once to get into the actual temple, which was more like an overblown gift shop. Then had to pay again to see the jade Buddha. There instead of a monk praying, was a woman there ready to sell you anointed oils which you could offer up to the statue. It made me feel like I was watching some sort of selling of absolutions.
On the other hand, another rather touching sight was on the great wall. While standing in line amidst garbage and shoving attendants who literally shoved you into the trolley up the wall and literally ripped you out (Sheenae can attest and she was actually flung into a wall!) I saw an extremely elderly couple. They were skinny, aged, and toothless, their faces and especially their teeth bore signs of the hardship of their life. But they could not have been more happy to have been on the wall. They were both full of toothless grins looking around them, almost giddy that they were actually about to ascend the wall. I had no idea what they were saying, but they spoke excitedly to their son. Their son was obviously a success, one of the new rich of China. Unlike his parents who were tanned, and slight he was rather portly and white, he sported a gold watch and a digital camera. He seemed rather proud that he could not only afford to bring his family and parents to the wall but also that he could afford to take them up in style via the trolley.
Mao said that one could only become a true hero after he had climbed the wall, and I'm sure that couples son felt like a hero. Granted the wall itself was a let down, with the crush of people, the obvious disregard for sanitation (walking into on of the fortifications you were instantly smothered by the smell of pee, since toilets were far and few between most seemingly took it upon themselves to pee in the most convenient dark place.) but seeing that couple made me smile.
People often complain that the Japanese are so polite one can never get a feel of their true intention. While this may be true, I felt like the Chinese were so openly rude and seemingly full of contempt for us foreigners that I could not get a feel for ...well anything. I stopped seeing them as simply a different culture, but could only see how rude they were. I really tried my best to see them in a good light, as it's horrible to judge an entire people based on a single experience, but it seemed at each junction of my trip that the people let me down.
Matt's journey seemed to reaffirm his trust in humanity and the innate goodness of people, sadly China has seemingly done the opposite for me. I have never felt that an entire people could be so collectively mean. Even in restaurants and in the hotels the workers seemed to treat you more of a nuisance than a valued costumer. The concierge was especially telling when he brushed us off when we asked him questions, he gave a rather brusque and quite terse answer to our question before sending us off... I then dropped him a rather generous tip in yen. He promptly chased us down, gave us a map and listing of nice restaurants and called a taxi for us. It seemed the only time people were nice was when money was being flashed. In the market people called us friends, till you bartered them down low enough then they would often throw things down in frustration and throw you the product before greedily snatching away your money. Even beggars on the street would come up to you begging "give me money" and would get rather testy with you when you simply ignored them.
But I suppose it's easy for me to judge them from my position of well off child born in a first world country. The people in the markets were obviously intelligent, walking the aisles of rip off goods I heard French, English, Russian, even Spanish spoken by the various sellers. These men and women seemed to be the cream of the crop and yet were reduced to open barter of knock off goods. The Chinese are trying to merely catch up to us, the traffic, the cars, the money the power, they want it all. Maybe they are ready to sacrifice the niceties to get there?
I'm honestly not sure where I am going with this, but I want to believe the Chinese are not that bad... but seeing poster in Beijing warning its citizens not spit in the street, the let children poop in front of others, not to beat your wife in public or leave your children unattended, I just have a hard time giving them slack. I have a hard time looking past the extremely brusque seemingly exploitive people I met and seeing the good in them.
This trip was great in showing me how good it is to be in Japan, but also horrible in showing me how people can be... and worse yet I feel guilty thinking the inevitable "how uncivilized, how backwards" that I now feel about China. This trip did make me reflect a lot, not just about myself but about people and where this world is going today, and it makes me sad...
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