I have been talking to my students much more than I did before. I always thought I had a pretty good relationship with my students, but ever since I have started using more Japanese it has improved even more. In fact with some classes I talk to them rather often, and as such some of my students have been teaching me some BIZZARO words. I was really surprised when some students taught me "ikanzaki", they all told me that it meant "mottainai" or "a waste". So I thought to use it so I would never forget it. So in the next class when a kid was sleeping in my class I told him "ikanzaki", and NO ONE understood, they thought I was making fun of another kid whose name is kanzaki. Ikan, can mean not good, or bad. They thought I was making fun of his name!
So I told the girls who told me this, that I used it, and they all went. "NO! Only this class!" So I thought they made this word up.
Cue in a month later and the word "onigarami". This word means consisting of ogres, so I obviously thought they were insulting me. Especially when a girl told me me and her were onigarami. But EVERYONE knows what it means. When I ask them to explain it to me, they all are like ...............???????????? And then give up.
So I asked some teachers, none of them knew these words. And when hanging out with a bunch of 20 something year olds they also did not know these words. Had these kids just made this stuff up?! Well I decided to check the internet and they are actual words! BOTH OF THEM!!
Ikanzaki does mean a waste, and it can also mean something that is bad. I have no clue on the origin. Onigarami means that you are friends who often talk and play around. So my students aren't fucking with my heads, they just have no idea how to explain the words, and they are teaching me such inside words and new words not everyone has heard of them.
I think it is rather cool that I am now becoming rather cutting edge on this stuff! Go me!
I am working on my SEMESTER LONG PROJECT! I am actually unsure if my students can do this, but I have since convinced myself THEY CAN! And even if they can't I am going to make them do this, even if it kills them! Sadly trying to find 45 boards for 356 kids is a tall order, and I am currently going around schools asking for their discarded cardboard boxes. Go hobo Kristen, I think it will take me awhile to cut the boxes and then tape them back together.
If this project goes well, I will feel very satisfied with my final year, regardless how the next 6 months go. (The project is planned to end in March) I got my students to participate for a speech contest, the first time possibly ever in this school (at least according to the teachers), and one of them actually got second place! I will have gotten my students to learn and be evaluated in a new way. (Via posters and colored pencils and research) And will have gotten some students pen friends, so that their learning of foreign cultures can continue long after I am gone. If I can get my English Club up and running then I will feel on top of the world, but as it is I just hope the other three things will pan out.
Also on another note, I have given up on Alcohol. How long this will last is doubtful, but after a weekend of drinking culminating with a drunken weeknight that led me to stumble home, I have decided enough killing of brain cells. I have drunken enough in my life. Hell when I turned 21 I drank on average 12 drinks almost every night! That went on for almost a year, and even before that I probably drank the equivalent of 10 bottles of vodka when I was younger (if not more o.0). Even though I drank enough to put down a bear, I never really got too sick or hung over, but on Tuesday was I EVER hung over. It was PAINFUL, and my stomach did not recover for DAYS. I still think my mind is a bit fuzzy after that incident.
So with that, I decided to just stop drinking. Granted it is fun, but I've given up enough brain cells to the cause. I want to die a bit young, I do not want to die now.
And if I need to die now, than I hope it is in the fettle position huddled in my sleeping bag from the cold.
2007年12月7日金曜日
Plans
Now that I have decided that I am going home come August, I have decided to become the best ALT I can. Granted I have improved, (I never leave to eat out, I come on time and stay till 5:15 at least 3 times a week, I clean with the students EVERYDAY) there are so many areas I could do better!
My work load has decreased at an insane rate! From the high of 19 classes a week (making 4 distinct lesson plans!) I have dropped down to the abysmal 9 classes a week. As it was, I was semi-content to be bored for two days a week, but now I am making grand plans for next semester. Can you say, semester long project! Oh yeah!
Granted the kids make me sad... a lot. I feel in some ways these kids are better. For example these kids generally understand difference between the words green and greener, and words like far and close, last years did not. Unfortunately, since I use more Japanese this year and some JTE's actually translate A LOT for me, the kids listening skills are WAY down, along with my patience.
Last year I would sit there and slowly talk the kids through EVERY activity, and if they asked me a questions I'd stand there gesturing anything to get them to understand. Now days, I often fall back to the Japanese. Granted I use no grammar and only basic Japanese, but I think I can use even less.
Than again, in other ways this batch of kids have MUCH WORSE English. I am amazed that kids do not know the word, "do". I often get things like, play clean, play study, the generic verb of English is do, not play!
I often see sentences without keys things, like subject, or is. Questions without the key question.
Still we are going to do this semester long project, and if I get sentences like that, then so be it! Regardless I just want them to do something creative. I hope they can have fun while studying about other places, especially when their dreams involve becoming lunch ladies for grade schools.
Another thing I AM going to do, is make my own special classes for Eiken after school. As it is, I usually help about 5 students, but really I am telling them the exact same thing, 3 kids do not have to wait around for an hour just so I can tell him the same thing I told the previous 2.
Hopefully, along with cleaning with the kids, I can eventually get to the point where I will eat with them. Sadly, I hate FIGHTING the other kids for the last kara-age bowl, and waiting in the BIZARRO long line at the cafeteria, thus I have been avoiding it. Maybe I can just segway myself into eating in their classrooms on a rotating basis. My number one fear is, I will be sitting there by myself as the kids are in their own worlds.
I liked Japanese when I was in High School, but I'd be as willing to stick a bottle up my bum as to force all my friends who sat with me at lunch to talk to my Japanese teacher in Japanese for the 45 minutes of peace we had.
And last, I am going to make a pen friends available to all student who wish to obtain one. I have already got one girl signed up, and I am going to ask all my students next week.
Hopefully if the Eiken lessons go well, I will expand this to a full once a week English circle. I;ve attempted this twice, but without a solid base it fails after about 2 go's. Sadly the most convenient time for this in Wednesday, this means I may have to quit Japanese classes.
A lot of people back home may think "Oh, you've been in Japan for 2 years you must be fluent! But, I am not here to learn Japanese, I am here to teach English. I hate that when ever people ask what JET's are here for 90% of the time I get answers like "Grass roots internationalizing", "Letting kids get to see foreigners" "Let kids have fun for an hour a week" We are English Teachers damn it, I am going to teach these kids some English even if it kills me AND them. If we aren't doing things that other Japanese teacher can just do themselves aren't we truly just wastes of money?
The fact that 7 girls from my HORROR class has now switched from saying "See you" to "later" fills me with a sense of accomplishment. The fact that kids now feel comfortable enough to come into the teachers room just to talk to me, makes me feel like I am doing things. Hell, one girl who is just about the worst student in the grade stops me just to chat about how she got caught using her cell phone in school 3 times thus got it taken away, about how she is so cold (I want to tell her stop using the damn thing in class, and if she just stopped rolling up her skirt maybe she'd be less cold). Even if I have to suck it up through lessons where screaming at kids to be quiet take up as much time as activity explanation, and I have students laughing at me more than actually writing something on their papers.
Some people think, I'm going home who cares if I come in late, who cares if I roll out at 10:45, what are they going to do fire me, not re-contract me!? Well I decided I am going to go home, and in the time I have left I want to prove to myself and to the teachers of this school that I was here for a reason, and I did not just waste my time.
I honestly did not come to Japan to teach kids, I came to Japan to improve myself as a person, become fluent in Japanese, and travel. But, now I can only think about helping these kids. Freezing cold, lack of running water and heat be damned, I am going to make the most of these last months the way I think I ought to.
My work load has decreased at an insane rate! From the high of 19 classes a week (making 4 distinct lesson plans!) I have dropped down to the abysmal 9 classes a week. As it was, I was semi-content to be bored for two days a week, but now I am making grand plans for next semester. Can you say, semester long project! Oh yeah!
Granted the kids make me sad... a lot. I feel in some ways these kids are better. For example these kids generally understand difference between the words green and greener, and words like far and close, last years did not. Unfortunately, since I use more Japanese this year and some JTE's actually translate A LOT for me, the kids listening skills are WAY down, along with my patience.
Last year I would sit there and slowly talk the kids through EVERY activity, and if they asked me a questions I'd stand there gesturing anything to get them to understand. Now days, I often fall back to the Japanese. Granted I use no grammar and only basic Japanese, but I think I can use even less.
Than again, in other ways this batch of kids have MUCH WORSE English. I am amazed that kids do not know the word, "do". I often get things like, play clean, play study, the generic verb of English is do, not play!
I often see sentences without keys things, like subject, or is. Questions without the key question.
Still we are going to do this semester long project, and if I get sentences like that, then so be it! Regardless I just want them to do something creative. I hope they can have fun while studying about other places, especially when their dreams involve becoming lunch ladies for grade schools.
Another thing I AM going to do, is make my own special classes for Eiken after school. As it is, I usually help about 5 students, but really I am telling them the exact same thing, 3 kids do not have to wait around for an hour just so I can tell him the same thing I told the previous 2.
Hopefully, along with cleaning with the kids, I can eventually get to the point where I will eat with them. Sadly, I hate FIGHTING the other kids for the last kara-age bowl, and waiting in the BIZARRO long line at the cafeteria, thus I have been avoiding it. Maybe I can just segway myself into eating in their classrooms on a rotating basis. My number one fear is, I will be sitting there by myself as the kids are in their own worlds.
I liked Japanese when I was in High School, but I'd be as willing to stick a bottle up my bum as to force all my friends who sat with me at lunch to talk to my Japanese teacher in Japanese for the 45 minutes of peace we had.
And last, I am going to make a pen friends available to all student who wish to obtain one. I have already got one girl signed up, and I am going to ask all my students next week.
Hopefully if the Eiken lessons go well, I will expand this to a full once a week English circle. I;ve attempted this twice, but without a solid base it fails after about 2 go's. Sadly the most convenient time for this in Wednesday, this means I may have to quit Japanese classes.
A lot of people back home may think "Oh, you've been in Japan for 2 years you must be fluent! But, I am not here to learn Japanese, I am here to teach English. I hate that when ever people ask what JET's are here for 90% of the time I get answers like "Grass roots internationalizing", "Letting kids get to see foreigners" "Let kids have fun for an hour a week" We are English Teachers damn it, I am going to teach these kids some English even if it kills me AND them. If we aren't doing things that other Japanese teacher can just do themselves aren't we truly just wastes of money?
The fact that 7 girls from my HORROR class has now switched from saying "See you" to "later" fills me with a sense of accomplishment. The fact that kids now feel comfortable enough to come into the teachers room just to talk to me, makes me feel like I am doing things. Hell, one girl who is just about the worst student in the grade stops me just to chat about how she got caught using her cell phone in school 3 times thus got it taken away, about how she is so cold (I want to tell her stop using the damn thing in class, and if she just stopped rolling up her skirt maybe she'd be less cold). Even if I have to suck it up through lessons where screaming at kids to be quiet take up as much time as activity explanation, and I have students laughing at me more than actually writing something on their papers.
Some people think, I'm going home who cares if I come in late, who cares if I roll out at 10:45, what are they going to do fire me, not re-contract me!? Well I decided I am going to go home, and in the time I have left I want to prove to myself and to the teachers of this school that I was here for a reason, and I did not just waste my time.
I honestly did not come to Japan to teach kids, I came to Japan to improve myself as a person, become fluent in Japanese, and travel. But, now I can only think about helping these kids. Freezing cold, lack of running water and heat be damned, I am going to make the most of these last months the way I think I ought to.
2007年12月3日月曜日
Decided
Today after another typical day at work I think I've truly decided on what I will do. I am going home, with out a doubt. I have another six months, and knowing that days like these will not be uncommon, I feel I have had enough.
I am just tired of teaching. I do not have that great of a relationship with my other teachers, and there are just too many kids who make this job terrible. Once again kids were teasing me in class, and before class. You'd think after about over a year of it, I'd be pretty used to it..... but no.
It's rather sad as there are a handful of kids who I really like in that class of horror, but the horrible students who just sit there laughing at me the ENTIRE class makes me just want to die. The teacher has no control over the kids, as they often laugh at him to. And though I often try to let the comments slid, I am really just fed up.
I do feel like I have made some progress as that class used to be so bad it was truly painful. I'd dread going in, but now days I've managed to get a few kids to stop talking and try The worse part is that there are good kids there, it's just the strong kids in that class have bad attitudes and the class will generally follow that said mood.
Some kids in that class somehow actually like me, when I told them I may go back in August they told me, no. And when I told them another alt would come, they still told me no. While that was nice the fact that about 7 kids will just make fun of me to my face is horrible. They have even figured out I speak Japanese to some capability, so teasing me in my presence is obviously to get me angry. Of course I don't in front of them, though I wonder what the hell I am supposed to do? I can't really do much but get angry at them, I can't really punish them.
I have asked some kids what they said in front of me once, to which they will then refuse to repeat it. And honestly I do not want to repeat what they said to me. And once they drew an offensive picture of me and then they refused to show it. It was 10 minutes of the actual teacher trying to get it from the student, who then ripped up the paper. That teacher did nothing to punish the student... I guess I am just going to suck it up till the end of the year when I can just finally go home.
On another note, I finished the NaNoWriMo! Woooo!! I started on the 12th, wrote for 5 days in a row, then took a two day break, wrote one more day before actually needing to work, then couldn't write for 7 days! Basically after keeping a pace of about 5,000 words a day, I was up to 30,000 words but I had two days to write 20,000 words! The first day wasn't a big problem as I had few classes, but on Friday I not only had 3 classes, but I had to climb my schools mountain, then go to a welcome party! I basically had 3 hours to write 10,000 words! But through bull shit and crazy I managed it, and finished the story!!!!! Obviously at that clip I am not exactly writing quality but it's.... generally coherent.
I am happy I can still manage to do some really insane things. I am happy that I have not completely forgotten how to write.
On even more notes, winter has finally come and I am nursing a mean cold. I actually had to walk out of class because I could not stop coughing for a FULL THREE MINUTES. I actually walked back in at the half way point only to realize I could still not manage to talk without coughing. Crazy times.
And seeing as this blog has not been really tied together with anyone particular theme, I'm going to go off on something that has been bothering me of late. I've been thinking about my future and though I am doing a lesson on my student's dreams and future job prospects I find it amusing that I myself am still at a complete lose. I often feel this is a result of a childhood where I was constantly told I could do anything, ANYTHING. But given little more guidance on to what factors would be most important in decided what exactly I was going to do.
It seems in America we are given such broad options, and big dreams we often reach for things that are not sensible. You want to be an Astronaut? GREAT! A LAWYER, GREAT! How's about being a little more realistic, parents and teachers of America?
Alternatively in Japan my students have already narrowed their choices so much, I can see why they have a very difficult trying to decide on their future when many teachers have already limited them to a handful of blue collar jobs. I actually had about ten gasoline stand workers, in the section "my dream".
In so many ways I feel that America's you can do anything if you try is misguided as it sets a lot of people up for a bitter reality (I mean seriously 50% drop out rate in college, shouldn't that be a wake up call?) But the alternative that is Japan is so harsh, for kid's at age 15-16 to be SO realistic is quite sobering.
Not that all the kids were completely realistic, I actually had more "rich-girl/rich-man" dreams than gasoline stand worker. But I had NO doctors, although there were about 20 nurses. There was ONE veterinarian, but about 10 pet shop workers. And the most popular future profession/dream: Hair Stylists, and House wife.
I want to tell the students anything is possible, but really, with the class of horror just talking and laughing in their seats, I really had to wonder if they could go for some of the jobs I had written down. And when I saw options such as Gasoline Stand worker, I did not really question them. Have my opinions changed? Have I lost hope for my students? I truly hope not, but I am beginning to see how I have become so jaded in opposition to the system. I always put on a smile but do the students know, I only smile to prevent myself from crying.
I am just tired of teaching. I do not have that great of a relationship with my other teachers, and there are just too many kids who make this job terrible. Once again kids were teasing me in class, and before class. You'd think after about over a year of it, I'd be pretty used to it..... but no.
It's rather sad as there are a handful of kids who I really like in that class of horror, but the horrible students who just sit there laughing at me the ENTIRE class makes me just want to die. The teacher has no control over the kids, as they often laugh at him to. And though I often try to let the comments slid, I am really just fed up.
I do feel like I have made some progress as that class used to be so bad it was truly painful. I'd dread going in, but now days I've managed to get a few kids to stop talking and try The worse part is that there are good kids there, it's just the strong kids in that class have bad attitudes and the class will generally follow that said mood.
Some kids in that class somehow actually like me, when I told them I may go back in August they told me, no. And when I told them another alt would come, they still told me no. While that was nice the fact that about 7 kids will just make fun of me to my face is horrible. They have even figured out I speak Japanese to some capability, so teasing me in my presence is obviously to get me angry. Of course I don't in front of them, though I wonder what the hell I am supposed to do? I can't really do much but get angry at them, I can't really punish them.
I have asked some kids what they said in front of me once, to which they will then refuse to repeat it. And honestly I do not want to repeat what they said to me. And once they drew an offensive picture of me and then they refused to show it. It was 10 minutes of the actual teacher trying to get it from the student, who then ripped up the paper. That teacher did nothing to punish the student... I guess I am just going to suck it up till the end of the year when I can just finally go home.
On another note, I finished the NaNoWriMo! Woooo!! I started on the 12th, wrote for 5 days in a row, then took a two day break, wrote one more day before actually needing to work, then couldn't write for 7 days! Basically after keeping a pace of about 5,000 words a day, I was up to 30,000 words but I had two days to write 20,000 words! The first day wasn't a big problem as I had few classes, but on Friday I not only had 3 classes, but I had to climb my schools mountain, then go to a welcome party! I basically had 3 hours to write 10,000 words! But through bull shit and crazy I managed it, and finished the story!!!!! Obviously at that clip I am not exactly writing quality but it's.... generally coherent.
I am happy I can still manage to do some really insane things. I am happy that I have not completely forgotten how to write.
On even more notes, winter has finally come and I am nursing a mean cold. I actually had to walk out of class because I could not stop coughing for a FULL THREE MINUTES. I actually walked back in at the half way point only to realize I could still not manage to talk without coughing. Crazy times.
And seeing as this blog has not been really tied together with anyone particular theme, I'm going to go off on something that has been bothering me of late. I've been thinking about my future and though I am doing a lesson on my student's dreams and future job prospects I find it amusing that I myself am still at a complete lose. I often feel this is a result of a childhood where I was constantly told I could do anything, ANYTHING. But given little more guidance on to what factors would be most important in decided what exactly I was going to do.
It seems in America we are given such broad options, and big dreams we often reach for things that are not sensible. You want to be an Astronaut? GREAT! A LAWYER, GREAT! How's about being a little more realistic, parents and teachers of America?
Alternatively in Japan my students have already narrowed their choices so much, I can see why they have a very difficult trying to decide on their future when many teachers have already limited them to a handful of blue collar jobs. I actually had about ten gasoline stand workers, in the section "my dream".
In so many ways I feel that America's you can do anything if you try is misguided as it sets a lot of people up for a bitter reality (I mean seriously 50% drop out rate in college, shouldn't that be a wake up call?) But the alternative that is Japan is so harsh, for kid's at age 15-16 to be SO realistic is quite sobering.
Not that all the kids were completely realistic, I actually had more "rich-girl/rich-man" dreams than gasoline stand worker. But I had NO doctors, although there were about 20 nurses. There was ONE veterinarian, but about 10 pet shop workers. And the most popular future profession/dream: Hair Stylists, and House wife.
I want to tell the students anything is possible, but really, with the class of horror just talking and laughing in their seats, I really had to wonder if they could go for some of the jobs I had written down. And when I saw options such as Gasoline Stand worker, I did not really question them. Have my opinions changed? Have I lost hope for my students? I truly hope not, but I am beginning to see how I have become so jaded in opposition to the system. I always put on a smile but do the students know, I only smile to prevent myself from crying.
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