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Just another day in the life of a foreigner in Japan.

We have final test in my school this week. This pretty much means I have very little to do all week. Since I started my project (which is not going very well as a note) I did not make a T.T. section for their test.

Thus I have been sitting around doing very little. I of course try to busy myself, I look up news habitually, been reading up on the Hillary/Obama debate, etc.

Well since I have little to do and other teachers take long lunches today I decided to hear to the city office and register my new inkan. I had two inkans before but one is badly damaged and the other is somewhere in my house, most likely lost. So I made another one and set out to register it. (Required for such things as car buying, insurance getting, license renewal etc) But, my Japanese skills are generally high functioning, while its basically a bother to do such things, bureaucracy and paper work is simply a reality of life.

Granted it is a pain, things that take other Japanese people probably seconds takes me about 10 minutes of planning. After learning the hard way how shitty it is to be stuck in a situation not sure how to explain what you want done in Japanese while there are other people waiting in line behind you getting pretty angry, I know now to prepare to do things.

I've managed to cancel my inkan before, thanks to like a day of prep and psyching myself up. I of course am NOT a second generation Japanese person who has a breadth of many words used in everyday conversation (thus being able to perhaps talk around complicated words), my Japanese has mostly been learned off of songs and T.V. shows. Granted I could talk my way through a discussion about Japanese love songs, trying to communicate I would like to make a new register for my personal seal are two very different things.

I fill out all the forms, which I've gotten rather adept at. And turn it in and settle in for a 20 minute wait of whatever the hell they do in the back office. But after 5 minutes the man who helped me came up and called. Strange, Japan is efficient, but you can shuffle a paper between 10 people only so fast.

He told me the inkan I bought him was no good. I was shocked, seeing as last time I registered my inkan was a PAINFUL 2 month process in which they REFUSED to budge on me using my current inkan which was in Japanese characters, since Japan does not recognize foreigners with Japanese characters in their name. So after MONTHS of negotiating down writing my ENTIRE 18 character name on a inkan to the initials of my first, middle and last name, they finally let me get registered.

BUT apparently in the span of less than a year the rules have changed. The city I live in no longer recognizes seals that include on the initials of the first, last and middle name. I had 4 choices, either write my ENTIRE NAME, write my first two or last two names, or write my first initial and my last name in katakana. I of course pick the last option, but that means making ANOTHER inkan, right after I friggen made an inkan for the sole purpose of registering that was to the exact specifications they told me to make it 10 months ago! WTF!!!!!! ARGH!!!!!!

Do they arbitrarily change these already arbitrary rules just to make us suffer!?!?!! So instead of taking half an hour of waiting, my trip to the City office took 45 minutes of painful negotiating in Japanese, all in Japanese. I understood everything the man told me, but before I left he asked me to write down that I was going to delay my registration. I of course can not write jack crap in Japanese despite being able to read about 1000 kanji. He was of course stunned asked who wrote my address, and I informed him I could at the very least write my own address. He was actually puzzled for a good minute how I could read all the instructions in kanji and speak to him for half an hour and yet not write 3 simple kanji. Well he should believe it, because despite the fact my Japanese is generally high functioning, I am not a Japanese person.

I was not raised in Japan, I was not raised speaking Japanese, and things like making a new inkan, going back and forth to my city office is not simple things for me. They are daily struggles that I have learned to deal with, and stupid random rule changes just make my life that much harder.

I used to feel bad leaving school earlier than all the other teachers (on time according to my contract but a full hour earlier than they are allowed to leave) so I used to stay late for no reason other than feeling bad, I used to feel bad taking long lunches even when I had nothing to do, so I would sit at my desk, but now days I do not. Because simple things that the Japanese do, like go to the stores and ask someone where the facial soap is (yes I sometimes forget the Japanese word for this) is not something I can do instantly, and somewhat inconvenient things for them, like changing over documents at the city office, become momentously horrible undertakings for me.

I used to also feel bad for getting paid more than Japanese people with equal or even more experience than me, I felt I was getting paid too much. But seriously, even I was stressed out, frazzled and completely fed up by this incident, and I can speak Japanese fairly well. I can only imagine how horrible this would be for another foreigner. This mental stress is not an occasional thing, I sometimes just feel like complete shit by the end of the day even when I have next to nothing to do. Meaning they better pay more than living wages to work a job that can be easy but in a world that is not.

So ugh, what was the point of this rant? Nothing really, just needing to blow off steam. Because sometimes we ALT's are just being spoiled brats who have just graduated from college and have no idea what it is like to truly work, and I do feel bad that I dedicate so much of my blog to daily rantings, but this incident was very exasperating. I am still shaking a bit knowing that after making ANOTHER (my fourth) inkan, I will then have to go back to the city office and deal with more bull crap. Before I have to go over to my local bank and tell them I have changed my inkan, then call up my insurance company informed the same thing, and I'm sure fill out even more papers and deal with even more crap.

Like I said these things are life anywhere in the world, I realize this, but with less the fluent language abilities and a feeling of not wanting to inconvenience the teachers around me (seriously I wonder if they'd help me anyhow)it's just painful stressful crappiness.

I also forgot to ask for the poster than tells me what to do with my garbage, even taking out my garbage sucks because the days they take it out have changed and maybe they informed me, and maybe I just threw that information away or didn't read it, or more likely it was buried in the mountains of Japanese papers I randomly get and often just throw it away because I could perhaps read it if I struggled with it for a while but often choose not to read it.

Ugh, so that was just another day in my life as a foreign English teacher in Japan.

A large part of coming to Japan for me, was to become a fluent speaker of Japanese. But, I quickly realized it was not something that was going to come naturally. Perhaps if I spoke Japanese everyday in school, it would not be something so difficult, but I REFUSED for a very long time to speak ANY Japanese in school. So with my ... less than motivated students, we would STRUGGLE to get through the day of ALL English.

I've generally relented on the all English policy, but since I now use this broken awful Japanese with students, I am finding that my pronunciation (my stronger point!) and my grammar (something I was already shit at) is going out the window. It's becoming really bad, so I decided to do the one thing that I felt really helped improve my Japanese in the first place, song translations.

Even when my Japanese was only so-so, I would try to translate song's, shows, give summaries for things etc. But, every since I lost interest in a lot of Japanese related media, particular popular culture, I just stopped. That was about 4 years ago, but I decided about 2 weeks, that I really need to buckle down and improve.

Since I have signed my forms and everything to go home, I now have 6 months to get a lot better at Japanese. It's not going to happen overnight, even I realize this, so I just need to keep on trying. Since studying is still pretty fail for me (I managed to study 10 kanji's before completely pooping out) I am going to continue with my informal study, which I must say, brought me pretty damn far, considering I didn't really do much formal studying. =/

I think if I really want to get fluent I need to do formal studying, but first I just need to get back my groove.

So here is my first song translation in a really long time. It's by “lecca” a rather minor reggae/dancehall singer. I know I used to HATE reggae, but Japan has opened up this avenue of music enjoyment for me, so yay.

The song really makes me think about my life in Japan. I really love the line, 友達も皆進んでるし私だけこの場所一人. All my friends are moving on, but I am still here alone. Totally how I felt leaving Graduate school at the half way point to come to Japan, and then my decision to stay another year.

And the very end phrase. 二度も三度もつまづいたって　続ければ終わりじゃない. Even if you trip two or three times, if you keep on continuing it won't be over.

The lyrics are really good parallel for how I often feel in Japan. Especially those days when I just fail so bad, I really want to give up and go home.

I usually hate corny lyrics, especially lyrics that tell you how to live. I suppose some people may think that is inspirational, I see it as just listening to other people telling you what to do. I think it inflates stars to the status of gods, and these lyrics become their text that people blindly live by. Thus I generally dislike American music, and if this song was in English I'd probably not like it. BUT, in Japan I find that a lot of young people are truly direction less and these words are good for them. I admit this is a problem in the states as well, but I find that in Japan it's rather expected for you to just go with the flow, so lyrics telling you otherwise, telling you to find your own path, which is basically当たり前 in the west, becomes more powerful for me. And since I am not a native speaker of Japanese I don't mind if the lyrical composition is not a master piece. I can't really tell when they are being poetic or using allegories, those things actually just make my understanding of the songs go to zero, so I need rather straightforward lyrics. Also I find songs that are too froo froo, lyrics in the clouds BS awful... Hahaha I am such a critic. And this is how I explain away why I can find rather cheesy or corny lyrics in Japanese acceptable while it is just excruciating when it is in English. The end.

Start Line

※君にはまだ見えてない あの空の向こうにひろがる Brand New World もう世界の全て知ったような顔して　ひとり泣いてる 祈るより先に　飛び出して行けば目に飛び込んでくる Whole New World 持ち物はいらない　体ひとつで※ 誰にも言えない失敗の日　このへんでそろそろあきらめどき？ 友達もみんな進んでるし　私だけこの場所　ひとり 取り残されたような気がして　心はみるみる縮まって またつらいつらいって泣くより　全部失くしたほうがいいのかな でも振り返ってみると　私なりの毎日が 予想もしなかったトコに　私を連れてきてた それが思うほど　素晴らしいものじゃなくても なかったことになんてできない　あの涙も △You don't know the future, and I don't know it either 誰もしらない　だから不安があってゆずれない You don't know the future, and I don't know it either だからできること　思いつくかぎりするよ△ (※くり返し) □まだ答えは出てないから　このまま走り続けて その想いを消せないなら　前を見て　You gotta go on 遠くの空のほうに浮かぶ雲が流れる頃 スタートラインが　きっと見えてくるよ□ まだ芽すら出てこない私の道　今は地下深くへ根を張るとき やるならいくらでも他の道あるのに、 ってママは嘆いてたりするけど 何より楽しくて夢中になれる　これこそ生きる道 あぁやっぱりやっときゃよかった、て 後で悔やむことのないように いつか振り返ってみると　わきめもふらぬあの日々が たどり着きたかったトコに　私を連れてきてた それが思ったより　楽しいばかりじゃなくても なかったことになんてしたくない　あの毎日を (△くり返し)(※くり返し)(□くり返し) あきらめるより前に進め　怖くなんかないと声に出して 確かめるように一歩前へ　踏み出してみればいい 一度くらいつまづいたって　そんなのよくある話だって 二度も三度もつまづいたって　続ければ終わりじゃない (□くり返し×2)(※くり返し)

※Stretching out beyond that sky you cannot yet see is a Brand New World Making a face like you already know everything about the world, you cry alone Before you pray first try jumping in and the whole new world will come at your eyes. You don't need anything just your body The day you didn't tell anyone about your failure, maybe it's time to just quit that. All my friends are moving along, and only I am still here Feeling like I was left behind my heart clenches Instead of having another painful cry, maybe its better if I just throw everything away But when I look back, Living life my way I bought myself somewhere unexpected. So much that I think, even if it is not something wonderful, it's something I can't do without, even those tears. △ You don't know the future and I don't know it either No one knows, so let go of your fears You don't know the future and I don't know it either So think hard about what you can do (※repeat) □ I still don't have an answer so I'll keep on running As long as this desire doesn't disappear, I'll keep on looking forward. You gotta go on Towards the distant sky where the floating clouds pass by for sure you'll begin to see the start line On my road where the I have not yet sprouted, now is the time that I lay out my roots deep. But if you try there are so many other way, my mother sighs However, more than anything this way of living is can put me into a fun trance. “Ah, after all it's all been great!” Living so in the end there are no regrets Someday I'll look back at those day's I did not cast aside I'll have arrived at the place this road has taken me More than just something I thought, it's not all about the fun, those days are something I just don't want not to have. (△Repeat)(※Repeat)(□Repeat) Before you give up, move forward. Shout out “I'm not afraid!” Step forward with confidence, it's ok to move on. It's such a common story to trip up once. Even if you trip up two or three times, if you keep on going forward it won't be over. (□Repeat×2)(※Repeat)