monkeys

Why does it have to be so hard?

2008-07-10T09:34:00.005+09:00

I am making an English camp, and I have been really pushing for about 2 weeks to get students to join. Hardly any one has and it's been really frustrating, actually the whole process has been.

I've been planning this for well over 6 months, I brought the idea to the old kyoto and kocho, who told me to tell the new ones. I brought it to them, and was recomended to make it an "official" event. My supervisor was supposed to help me with the paper work, which means I had to muddle through the paper work by myself for HOURS trying to do it in Japanese, and then I handed it over to my supervisor who then corrected my Japanese mistakes and handed it back to me.

Well in the end my version was rejected and it was a SOLID MONTH of bugging my supervisor to write the GOD DAMN ONE PAGE paper for approval. So after having to ask my KYOTO THREE TIMES to tell my supervisor to do it, he finally directly told him.

It's OK though because I'm used to not getting any support from the teachers. I want to make a pen pal project OK I have to do that all by myself. Hell, I am even used to teachers making some things harder for me. So I want to push students to do ANOTHER speech contest knowing that last year NO TEACHER HELPED ME AT ALL. When I tell them at maximum two students, they ask SIX, I am now trying to help FIVE students not completely fail. But, that's ok, even when they make it harder for me, I can generally manage.

So then flash forward to two months ago, I had down basically no advertising but had decided now was the time to tell the kids about the camp. Of course hardly any one showed interest I wasn't that shocked, my school is not exactly a top academic school, in fact it's more sports oriented...well the students are at least.

Well it's not just the students, about a month ago I saw a student and while I'm not 100% sure she wants to be a flight attendant, she was requesting SOMETHING from one of the coaches, one of the strictest coaches and he was flat out refusing her. It made me really worried because my kyoto had told the coaches to let the students go to this camp. But, really whats to keep the coaches from not doing that, I mean there are tons of "rules" they have to follow but none of them really do.

Despite the fact I went to the trouble of FIGHTING to make this event official so I DIDNT have to go up to EVERY COACH AND BEG THEM TO LET THE KIDS COME. I sucked it up and two weeks ago I asked 10 coaches to let the kids comes, most of them said, "Sure, if they students ask I'll let them go" With the exception of the coaches who have tournaments. Well a lot of clubs have "practice games" but I was thinking those don't really count now do they.

So after this I really pushed forward and starting not only asking students directly but in the morning going to every class room and telling them directly to come and putting up posters and attaching the sign up sheets. Yesterday though, I ran into a girl who wants to be a flight attendant (not the one from above a different one) and I asked her why she won't come. She said she already asked but she got refused, BY A COACH I ALREADY ASKED!!!!!! Ugh, that is so painful, I'm trying so hard, but it's just so fail.

It in a way makes me feel better that no one wants to come but that the students are being refused, but what the hell is the point of this? Why am I trying so hard? It's just feels like this is all impossible, I'm fighting back a tidal wave with cardboard.

Someone told me to bring the girl to the teacher and bring my Kyoto and tell the teacher to as the teacher again. But, it just feels like the girl will look like that younger brother who ran to mommy after Tommy punched him. The teacher will probably be forced to let her go at this point, but I'm sure right after Kyoto and I are gone he'll make her club life shitty.

I want to get him and other teachers to let the kids go, but what can I do? Do I beg, what?! Even if I do won't it just make it harder for the kids, how many times do I have to ask, how many more hurdles do I have to jump through?!

It's just so hard, I'm crying at my desk, and I actually want someone to ask me why, but everyone is just ignoring me........

Fukuoka Pride

2008-06-25T10:39:00.003+09:00

I was reading the news as I always do (and thus being very unproductive) and found this interesting article on the front page of Japan today.

It brings me back to when I was just about to depart for Fukuoka. I read an article in Newsweek about the new boom times. Fukuoka was one of them, it talked about how it was cosmopolitan and had the youngest metropolitan medium age in all of Japan. (Which is memory serves me right was 39 >.<) It assured me that though I did not really know where I was going, that it was sure to be a great place, and it has.

Attempting to look for this article again I came across another one from Asia week about Fukuoka being the best city in all of Asia.

It also won this award the next year. It swells me with a sense of pride to be living in such a nice place. Though hilariously, Honolulu the city I will be returning to actually ranks higher on the first list. Looking up most livable cities I find that Honolulu is actually the highest ranked city in the US on the reputable Mercer quality of living list, a full 5 ranks higher than the next highest city in Japan. Please note that Fukuoka is absent from this list.

However, seeing that failed to incense any sort of feelings, short of "I wonder why?". I say that but really I know it is a great place to live, but for someone my age living on a tiny island in the middle of the pacific has it distinct disadvantages. Living in Fukuoka, I had access to everything I could want, and for those times when I just got sick of the city or felt the need to see something else I could just jump in plane, or train, or even my car and it would be a very short ride to somewhere else. In Hawaii if you want to go ANYWHERE else, prepare for at least a 5 hour plane ride to next nearest land mass.

That is the serious disadvantage of Hawaii, knowing your stuck there. I'm not a big shopper so I was never that put off by the relative scarcity of shops that are considered ubiquitous in other US states, but that feeling of being stuck always bugged me. Also the lack of great public transportation is a bit of a natch. There was always the bus, but it was a fickle bitch that never ran on time and would not stop if the driver saw you chasing it down full speed.

Even with a car there were only so many places you could go and it puts people who live in Hawaii into this sense of futility. Why even bother going to the other side of the island, what is there that you can't find here. Generally it was true, to a point of course.

It is a great lifestyle, its laid back, it's low pressure, its in the sun, mild weather all the time, lots of green and blue, low crime, etc. If I was raising a family I could think of few places as nice as Hawaii, but as a 20 something year old who has lived her entire life thinking a 20 minute drive was out of the way, and my radius of living was stuck at an maximum hour out in any direction, god lord I was happy to be in Fukuoka.

But more than that, I don't think I could have enjoyed my time as much as I did if I lived in a truly big city. The fact, and the various articles point this out, that Fukuoka is this big metropolitan city yet feels like a small time burg, was amazing. I sometimes envy those who live right in the thick of it, within Fukuoka city. But, seeing the transpiration rolling off the green mountains that surround my city, and being able to hike up a mountain every month (note this is usually not by choice) really kept me grounded.

I hated New York, it was so much bustle, noise, and anger. I was on vacation but it seemed like there was always this tension in the air, it was palpable and for someone from Hawaii it tasted like a combination of rusting pennies soaked in bile. The short of it was I hated it.

The fact that I could choose to be in that bustle and yet with a short 10 minute train ride be out of it in the comfort of my town, my house was something I truly treasured. In a month half that will no longer be possible and I will be stuck back on my island.

Hawaii is truly a paradise and deserves it's high rank on all these various lists... but for me nothing beats Fukuoka, and to this day of all the places I have been able to travel I would always think "Oh, it's so much better in Fukuoka." I will truly miss this place when I am gone.

Balance

2008-05-28T14:32:00.003+09:00

I don't like to think of myself as an environmentalist, but I do like to think that I care whether or not I am damaging the Earth. There are cost and rewards in my mind, and I know a lot of people feel a bit smug about the fact they are sacrificing for the environment. At times I admit I do feel that smug feeling, but on the most part I feel bad because I am only willing to do so much.

Yesterday for about the first time ever I called in delivery. I have done this I think 4 times ever since I came to Japan and last night was actually the first time I have ever done it for myself. (I usually call in with friends)

Granted I drive a car which is horrible. I really do not need a car. I could fully bicycle to school, and since I have a car I use it to do things I could not have done if I did not have it. (Thus incurring more driving)

Some people criticize this about me, and sometimes it's not so open but I feel it's still rather obvious. However I am rather certain these same people call out to eat, and let me just say I am shocked by the waste!

For my one meal I got no less than 5 different pieces of packaging. They also gave me a menu which is silly since I went on their website to look up their menu and don't need it. Said menu was also laminated, making the process of throwing it out and burning more painful. Also thinking about the fact that someone had to ride a moped to my house, and then ride back just for one meal also just silly.

I normally walk to this place but last night I was rather sick and still a bit dizzy from some lingering sinus infection. I normally do not call take because I often try to consider how that incurs waste.

I am by no means that good at saving the environment. But I do try to really think about how I can save and on and that weight that against what I am willing to do with in reasons. For example actually saving my plastics and then walking to the local market and then dropping it off there, along with my milk cartons (or in my case drinkable yogurt) As, I have to walk there anyway to get food. Also trying my absolute best to never use or take plastic bags, even when I forget my eco-bag. Because, granted I look silly carrying 5 pieces of grocery in my hand to walk home but good god I do not want another stupid plastic bag in my house. I also restrict myself to 5 minute showers at the maximum, because really any more time and I am just wasting water. I also unplug every appliance when not in use, because it only takes a second or so and never turn on more than one light in my house, because who needs that much light anyhow?

I was amazed when someone stayed over my house. This person was someone who apparently cared about the environment, but he turned on 3 lights in my house, and actually had to ask why I kept on turning them off. I asked him why he needed 3 lights on to watch TV while he was surfing the internet. At which point I turned off the TV.

A lot of people like to nitpick that one obvious big environmental no-no and poo-poo others and yet, I find that they often feel good about themselves for their one saving grace and don't keep their eyes open for minor saving thats occur through out their lives.

I as a note turned on my A/C for the first time in 7 months.(It doesn't have a heat function anyhow..) In the winter months I have no source of warmth other than a sleeping bag, more clothes and an electric blanket. But, in all honesty I don't really mind the cold. While for some this is unthinkable suffering, for me not turning on or having an a/c in this Japan death summer is FAR WORSE.

Still I do realize that heating and cooling are the most wasteful and energy sapping things you can do, so I moved all my things into the one room that has the A/c and closed all the doors. I have my a/c set at 26, and while not even that cold it dries out the death humidity, and is cool enough if I walk around half naked.

So am I going to feel better when I drive today? A little actually, because I accept that for me personally not driving is just something that is not feasible for me. But, 5 minute showers, not using bags, and living in a very cold apartment was.

I am not going to judge you if you don't do those things I do, because for some people it is just simply unreasonable, even though for me personally I don't see how it's that much of a bother. So maybe I periodically buy some food stuff that had to be shipped from America, but then I don't buy clothing that was made in China then shipped to America and then reshipped to Japan because it's fashionable. Periodically eating yummy food I can't find in Japan is a priority, fashion is not. For those who find fashion a priority then so be it.

So if your doing everything in your power and you are truly sacrificing, that is GREAT. You should feel smug and awesome and you can totally judge EVERYONE for being wasteful and poo-poo me and just about everyone else. But till then, while you can suggest to me things please try not to judge or wag your finger at my waste while not looking at your own.

TURN OFF YOUR ENGINES!

2008-04-21T09:15:00.002+09:00

http://www.wikihow.com/Increase-Fuel-Mileage-on-a-Car

If you idle your car for more than 10 SECONDS, then it is MORE fuel efficient to turn off your car and restart it.

WTF, I swear someone told (in fact I know who) that starting up your car takes about 10 minutes worth of idling. And I believed it! UGH! I think this myth is one that many people believe, and in America I was always afraid someone would jump in my car and steal it if I ran off some where for a second, in Japan I've been idling. UGH!

Actually I've only managed to idle about 5 times, since I automatically without thinking turn off my engine, but last night I idled twice! That is infuriating, since I thought I was doing something that would help reduce my waste, but it only worsened it.

I suppose in the end I should have been biking and NOT been drying my clothes in a dryer since we had such good weather lately. But, bad timing over sleeping, etc. Not using the dryer, not driving are things that while wasteful sometimes are difficult to avoid, but turning off your engine when idling for more than 10 seconds is not, so everyone TURN OFF THOSE ENGINES!

I used to wonder about the buses that did that, but I assumed they had designed them to be more efficient at turning off and on, but no they just have the right idea.

This leads me to something else. I really need to fact check everything I hear, because I rarely forget things, even mis-information. Much like this stupid 10 minutes rule WTF person who told me this.

Anyhow, yesterday I heard a place name. I knew of the place simply because I heard it before, but I had no idea from where. I knew no one from the area... then it hit me a little bit later.

When I first came to Japan about 2 years ago, actually 21 months ago in August it was sports day practice and a P.E. teacher was talking to me and some students. She told me her old school was in Munekata and the two students had no idea where it was and she was shocked. It was something that was said off hand and I rarely talk to this teacher now, it is something that I would not be able to think of unless the situation was prompted, but hiding in my brain is a lot of insanely inane facts.

But only with-in the last three years, so if you want to tell me something insane, wait about three years and then I'll forget, because man after three years I think I mind wipe myself.

Facebook has recently been "finding" possible friends for me, and as I scan through them some of them look vaguely familiar, and since they graduated the same year as me, and from the same school from me I SHOULD know them, but I have no clue. So while I may be able to remember over 300 of my students names and whatever the hell else they told me (birthdays, pet names, who they like, favorite musician) after three years I probably won't be able to recognize their faces. I wonder if this is a good thing or a bad thing... As it is right now, I'm pretty thankful for even the three year window. Forgetting things en mass has it's perks too, though these last two years have been so wonderful, I'd hate to forget those memories...

I am indeed crazy

2008-04-16T14:27:00.003+09:00

So this week I have been having my first classes with my new students. I was surprised as the students were quite quiet. They were generally eager, and answered fairly well, but when I ask them to be quiet, they actually shut up. zOMG! They seemed to be a lot more reserved than last years new students, who were already rather loud. But that is a hard comparison since I had my first lessons with those students well after a month of them being in school, a long time for them to get used to one another.

Well I had a class today that was pretty bad, pretty bad even compared to last years classes. The students talked back (no one wanted to sit in the front, and the teacher asking them got responses of "I refuse") So after about 7 minutes of struggling with that, we kind of went on. But about half the boys and 5 girls didn't want to stop talking. So I insisted on them being quiet, and some boys got the hint and started to shout to one another to "shut up" Which I suppose was nice.

Three girls didn't want to listen. I started talking, and despite the fact they were in the first row, they just didn't want to stop. So I went up to them and asked them "Are you ready?" And they actually just ignored me and kept on talking. I BURST out laughing, the kind of crazy laughter that...I suppose is scary.

Well that got their attention! And they started laughing in suite. So I moved on, and they started talking AGAIN. So I made them my example and got them to say "yes". They were so confused, but at the very least they started paying attention...kind of.

Well there were some problems with the projector in the class room, and they got to talking once again. In the end, instead of taking 30 minutes to finish up the three simple things I wanted to do, it took 45 minutes a lot of screaming, skipping things and laughter. I practically lost my voice and the JTE I have to teach this class with was at her wits end. She said she was exhausted, and was shocked that the class was so noisy so early.

I told her I was used to it, and soon many classes would become like this, she looked afraid. As for me, I really enjoyed it.

To me what is most important is that students are not afraid to talk to me. Whether it be broken Japanese that has 2 English words, or a whole sentence of bizzaro English, as long as they are trying to get their ideas out of their head and communicated towards my direction I feel like we are moving forward.

These students were indeed loud, but they actually were asking me questions. (I say the word question lightly as the question was just one word, spoken with an upward inflection.) They were really honest right away, when I asked if they understood, they all screamed at me "NO!" (After you know translation help)

While that was certainly insane, it was raucous fun. I've come to realize that I don't think I'd be able to handle the quiet reserved attentiveness of "good" schools. Give me the loud, won't stop talking, insulting teachers (two boys told the JTE to "Shut up" multiple times), madness.

They tell me straight when their bored "imi wakknaisu~!", they tell me when they are enjoying themselves "BARI UKERU!" and they react. Granted this is just the first class and I didn't actually ask them to learn or do much of anything.

Well I did ask them to write their names in Romaji, and got 4 kids who wrote it in Kanji >.< I even told them in JAPANESE to write their "First name" and they managed to write their family name instead. So I did actually ask them to do something and they failed rather badly at it. 10 boys could not figure out to write the rules I wrote on the board on the paper I gave them, despite the fact I showed them exactly what to do... Maybe it was the constant talking, haha.

I am sure three classes down the line when I actually want them to work, I'll be ranting about how impossible it is to teach those monsters. But for now, let me enjoy the madness. Because it is true, the feeling of reward and accomplishment is not as great when it is not filled with struggle. I realize I will have to struggle with this class, and I am up for the challenge.

Last year I was despondent by my students lack of cooperation, but after close to two years of experience I am really starting to understand what it take to move these kids forward. So bring it on, I am not just willing for such a challenge I was hungry for it.

I lamented the fact that I just didn't feel the need to get to know these new kids. I am after all leaving in three and a half months. But students like these drive me, and I will be pushing them forward despite the fact they will almost certainly be pushing back.

kowakune~suyo! KOI~

Phew!

2008-04-01T14:35:00.003+09:00

Well, I had been trying to write at least one blog per month but I have obviously been failing at that. And for good reason! My days of late have been a non-stop flurry of action.

Lately I have been taking just about every opportunity to travel. Whether in Japan or abroad, and my weekends have been taking a beating. Compound that with the fact I have started dance classes on Tuesday, coupled with practices on Monday and then Japanese class on Wednesday, then usually a Friday night where I am dashing off to some trip, I have barely time to catch my breath. Thursdays sound like a day off, but really thats the day I try my best to keep up with laundry and all those other house hold chores that a world wind traveler can't be bothered with.

My life sounds great, and I suppose it is. But after a back to back weeks of traveling and other endeavors I finally let myself sleep in, and I slept in for 15 hours... STRAIGHT! I love this go go life style, I feel in a way so lucky to have a job with a steady enough income to supplement such an enviable life style, but as it may be, I am perhaps just not cut out for it.

I love travel but the hectic pace I am going at is just wearing me out. I REALLY want to add guitar lessons into my agenda on Thursday but then my weeks will simple be booked full. Ah, well I only have 4 more months before I have to go back home. There life will be mundane and such exotic travel and time for lessons of any sort will be out of the question. In that respect I should be grateful for being just a bit zonked out every moment, but I suppose the grass IS always greener on the other side.

On another note, I have managed to finish my JET essay and turn it in. Typing that out made me realize how poor my writing, thinking, and just about everything having to do with academics have fallen. I am really starting to worry about graduate school, and I am rather pleased with my decision to take a semester off before going back to unclassified grads to wet my feet before I hopefully switch over my major.

I know delaying it will not make going back to school any easier, but at my current level I do not think one year would be enough to finish up my degree. Seeing as I really want to make the major switch, I think it is a good decision.

So maybe in the end I WILL have time to do what I want, at least a little bit more time to be a child before I truly grow up. For all the things JET has afforded me to do, it has given me the opportunity to delay reality. Which I am eternally grateful and feeling guilty for. It's been an amazing 2 year ride, and I can see why my students tell me they want to be ALT's too. Our life is sweet, and I am grateful.

And if you think my writing is a tad on the pretentious side, well, welcome to graduate school writing. Because in the end a bit of fluff goes a long way to getting a good grade. (If you think that doesn't fly well, try read a sociological work that is all substance and no style and you'll be snoring in no time)

P.S. I know I sounds busy busy but lo and behold I am here typing at a blog at work, and before that I was on face book. I am sure my academics would not have fallen so behind if I took those moments to study SOMETHING but alas, I am still a lazy bum.

ihfl 4jtoi4jojdmfrgl ABALRHG!!!!!!!!

2008-02-18T14:31:00.003+09:00

Just another day in the life of a foreigner in Japan.

We have final test in my school this week. This pretty much means I have very little to do all week. Since I started my project (which is not going very well as a note) I did not make a T.T. section for their test.

Thus I have been sitting around doing very little. I of course try to busy myself, I look up news habitually, been reading up on the Hillary/Obama debate, etc.

Well since I have little to do and other teachers take long lunches today I decided to hear to the city office and register my new inkan. I had two inkans before but one is badly damaged and the other is somewhere in my house, most likely lost. So I made another one and set out to register it. (Required for such things as car buying, insurance getting, license renewal etc) But, my Japanese skills are generally high functioning, while its basically a bother to do such things, bureaucracy and paper work is simply a reality of life.

Granted it is a pain, things that take other Japanese people probably seconds takes me about 10 minutes of planning. After learning the hard way how shitty it is to be stuck in a situation not sure how to explain what you want done in Japanese while there are other people waiting in line behind you getting pretty angry, I know now to prepare to do things.

I've managed to cancel my inkan before, thanks to like a day of prep and psyching myself up. I of course am NOT a second generation Japanese person who has a breadth of many words used in everyday conversation (thus being able to perhaps talk around complicated words), my Japanese has mostly been learned off of songs and T.V. shows. Granted I could talk my way through a discussion about Japanese love songs, trying to communicate I would like to make a new register for my personal seal are two very different things.

I fill out all the forms, which I've gotten rather adept at. And turn it in and settle in for a 20 minute wait of whatever the hell they do in the back office. But after 5 minutes the man who helped me came up and called. Strange, Japan is efficient, but you can shuffle a paper between 10 people only so fast.

He told me the inkan I bought him was no good. I was shocked, seeing as last time I registered my inkan was a PAINFUL 2 month process in which they REFUSED to budge on me using my current inkan which was in Japanese characters, since Japan does not recognize foreigners with Japanese characters in their name. So after MONTHS of negotiating down writing my ENTIRE 18 character name on a inkan to the initials of my first, middle and last name, they finally let me get registered.

BUT apparently in the span of less than a year the rules have changed. The city I live in no longer recognizes seals that include on the initials of the first, last and middle name. I had 4 choices, either write my ENTIRE NAME, write my first two or last two names, or write my first initial and my last name in katakana. I of course pick the last option, but that means making ANOTHER inkan, right after I friggen made an inkan for the sole purpose of registering that was to the exact specifications they told me to make it 10 months ago! WTF!!!!!! ARGH!!!!!!

Do they arbitrarily change these already arbitrary rules just to make us suffer!?!?!! So instead of taking half an hour of waiting, my trip to the City office took 45 minutes of painful negotiating in Japanese, all in Japanese. I understood everything the man told me, but before I left he asked me to write down that I was going to delay my registration. I of course can not write jack crap in Japanese despite being able to read about 1000 kanji. He was of course stunned asked who wrote my address, and I informed him I could at the very least write my own address. He was actually puzzled for a good minute how I could read all the instructions in kanji and speak to him for half an hour and yet not write 3 simple kanji. Well he should believe it, because despite the fact my Japanese is generally high functioning, I am not a Japanese person.

I was not raised in Japan, I was not raised speaking Japanese, and things like making a new inkan, going back and forth to my city office is not simple things for me. They are daily struggles that I have learned to deal with, and stupid random rule changes just make my life that much harder.

I used to feel bad leaving school earlier than all the other teachers (on time according to my contract but a full hour earlier than they are allowed to leave) so I used to stay late for no reason other than feeling bad, I used to feel bad taking long lunches even when I had nothing to do, so I would sit at my desk, but now days I do not. Because simple things that the Japanese do, like go to the stores and ask someone where the facial soap is (yes I sometimes forget the Japanese word for this) is not something I can do instantly, and somewhat inconvenient things for them, like changing over documents at the city office, become momentously horrible undertakings for me.

I used to also feel bad for getting paid more than Japanese people with equal or even more experience than me, I felt I was getting paid too much. But seriously, even I was stressed out, frazzled and completely fed up by this incident, and I can speak Japanese fairly well. I can only imagine how horrible this would be for another foreigner. This mental stress is not an occasional thing, I sometimes just feel like complete shit by the end of the day even when I have next to nothing to do. Meaning they better pay more than living wages to work a job that can be easy but in a world that is not.

So ugh, what was the point of this rant? Nothing really, just needing to blow off steam. Because sometimes we ALT's are just being spoiled brats who have just graduated from college and have no idea what it is like to truly work, and I do feel bad that I dedicate so much of my blog to daily rantings, but this incident was very exasperating. I am still shaking a bit knowing that after making ANOTHER (my fourth) inkan, I will then have to go back to the city office and deal with more bull crap. Before I have to go over to my local bank and tell them I have changed my inkan, then call up my insurance company informed the same thing, and I'm sure fill out even more papers and deal with even more crap.

Like I said these things are life anywhere in the world, I realize this, but with less the fluent language abilities and a feeling of not wanting to inconvenience the teachers around me (seriously I wonder if they'd help me anyhow)it's just painful stressful crappiness.

I also forgot to ask for the poster than tells me what to do with my garbage, even taking out my garbage sucks because the days they take it out have changed and maybe they informed me, and maybe I just threw that information away or didn't read it, or more likely it was buried in the mountains of Japanese papers I randomly get and often just throw it away because I could perhaps read it if I struggled with it for a while but often choose not to read it.

Ugh, so that was just another day in my life as a foreign English teacher in Japan.

2008-02-04T13:09:00.001+09:00

A large part of coming to Japan for me, was to become a fluent speaker of Japanese. But, I quickly realized it was not something that was going to come naturally. Perhaps if I spoke Japanese everyday in school, it would not be something so difficult, but I REFUSED for a very long time to speak ANY Japanese in school. So with my ... less than motivated students, we would STRUGGLE to get through the day of ALL English.

I've generally relented on the all English policy, but since I now use this broken awful Japanese with students, I am finding that my pronunciation (my stronger point!) and my grammar (something I was already shit at) is going out the window. It's becoming really bad, so I decided to do the one thing that I felt really helped improve my Japanese in the first place, song translations.

Even when my Japanese was only so-so, I would try to translate song's, shows, give summaries for things etc. But, every since I lost interest in a lot of Japanese related media, particular popular culture, I just stopped. That was about 4 years ago, but I decided about 2 weeks, that I really need to buckle down and improve.

Since I have signed my forms and everything to go home, I now have 6 months to get a lot better at Japanese. It's not going to happen overnight, even I realize this, so I just need to keep on trying. Since studying is still pretty fail for me (I managed to study 10 kanji's before completely pooping out) I am going to continue with my informal study, which I must say, brought me pretty damn far, considering I didn't really do much formal studying. =/

I think if I really want to get fluent I need to do formal studying, but first I just need to get back my groove.

So here is my first song translation in a really long time. It's by “lecca” a rather minor reggae/dancehall singer. I know I used to HATE reggae, but Japan has opened up this avenue of music enjoyment for me, so yay.

The song really makes me think about my life in Japan. I really love the line, 友達も皆進んでるし私だけこの場所一人. All my friends are moving on, but I am still here alone. Totally how I felt leaving Graduate school at the half way point to come to Japan, and then my decision to stay another year.

And the very end phrase. 二度も三度もつまづいたって　続ければ終わりじゃない. Even if you trip two or three times, if you keep on continuing it won't be over.

The lyrics are really good parallel for how I often feel in Japan. Especially those days when I just fail so bad, I really want to give up and go home.

I usually hate corny lyrics, especially lyrics that tell you how to live. I suppose some people may think that is inspirational, I see it as just listening to other people telling you what to do. I think it inflates stars to the status of gods, and these lyrics become their text that people blindly live by. Thus I generally dislike American music, and if this song was in English I'd probably not like it. BUT, in Japan I find that a lot of young people are truly direction less and these words are good for them. I admit this is a problem in the states as well, but I find that in Japan it's rather expected for you to just go with the flow, so lyrics telling you otherwise, telling you to find your own path, which is basically当たり前 in the west, becomes more powerful for me. And since I am not a native speaker of Japanese I don't mind if the lyrical composition is not a master piece. I can't really tell when they are being poetic or using allegories, those things actually just make my understanding of the songs go to zero, so I need rather straightforward lyrics. Also I find songs that are too froo froo, lyrics in the clouds BS awful... Hahaha I am such a critic. And this is how I explain away why I can find rather cheesy or corny lyrics in Japanese acceptable while it is just excruciating when it is in English. The end.

Start Line
※君にはまだ見えてないあの空の向こうにひろがる Brand New World もう世界の全て知ったような顔して　ひとり泣いてる祈るより先に　飛び出して行けば目に飛び込んでくる Whole New World 持ち物はいらない　体ひとつで※ 誰にも言えない失敗の日　このへんでそろそろあきらめどき？友達もみんな進んでるし　私だけこの場所　ひとり取り残されたような気がして　心はみるみる縮まってまたつらいつらいって泣くより　全部失くしたほうがいいのかなでも振り返ってみると　私なりの毎日が予想もしなかったトコに　私を連れてきてたそれが思うほど　素晴らしいものじゃなくてもなかったことになんてできない　あの涙も △You don't know the future, and I don't know it either 誰もしらない　だから不安があってゆずれない You don't know the future, and I don't know it either だからできること　思いつくかぎりするよ△ (※くり返し) □まだ答えは出てないから　このまま走り続けてその想いを消せないなら　前を見て　You gotta go on 遠くの空のほうに浮かぶ雲が流れる頃スタートラインが　きっと見えてくるよ□ まだ芽すら出てこない私の道　今は地下深くへ根を張るときやるならいくらでも他の道あるのに、ってママは嘆いてたりするけど何より楽しくて夢中になれる　これこそ生きる道あぁやっぱりやっときゃよかった、て後で悔やむことのないようにいつか振り返ってみると　わきめもふらぬあの日々がたどり着きたかったトコに　私を連れてきてたそれが思ったより　楽しいばかりじゃなくてもなかったことになんてしたくない　あの毎日を (△くり返し)(※くり返し)(□くり返し) あきらめるより前に進め　怖くなんかないと声に出して確かめるように一歩前へ　踏み出してみればいい一度くらいつまづいたって　そんなのよくある話だって二度も三度もつまづいたって　続ければ終わりじゃない (□くり返し×2)(※くり返し)	※Stretching out beyond that sky you cannot yet see is a Brand New World Making a face like you already know everything about the world, you cry alone Before you pray first try jumping in and the whole new world will come at your eyes. You don't need anything just your body The day you didn't tell anyone about your failure, maybe it's time to just quit that. All my friends are moving along, and only I am still here Feeling like I was left behind my heart clenches Instead of having another painful cry, maybe its better if I just throw everything away But when I look back, Living life my way I bought myself somewhere unexpected. So much that I think, even if it is not something wonderful, it's something I can't do without, even those tears. △ You don't know the future and I don't know it either No one knows, so let go of your fears You don't know the future and I don't know it either So think hard about what you can do (※repeat) □ I still don't have an answer so I'll keep on running As long as this desire doesn't disappear, I'll keep on looking forward. You gotta go on Towards the distant sky where the floating clouds pass by for sure you'll begin to see the start line On my road where the I have not yet sprouted, now is the time that I lay out my roots deep. But if you try there are so many other way, my mother sighs However, more than anything this way of living is can put me into a fun trance. “Ah, after all it's all been great!” Living so in the end there are no regrets Someday I'll look back at those day's I did not cast aside I'll have arrived at the place this road has taken me More than just something I thought, it's not all about the fun, those days are something I just don't want not to have. (△Repeat)(※Repeat)(□Repeat) Before you give up, move forward. Shout out “I'm not afraid!” Step forward with confidence, it's ok to move on. It's such a common story to trip up once. Even if you trip up two or three times, if you keep on going forward it won't be over. (□Repeat×2)(※Repeat)

Austrlia is damn expensive/ I am a HOBO

2008-01-07T13:22:00.003+09:00

This winter I had planned to go to Indonesia. There was no real compelling urge to go there, simply everyone else was going to other places at inconvenient times. Thus I set up to go with Yamato to Indonesia.

We basically made no plans other than buy the tickets. With about a week before we were set to leave we looked things up, Indonesia is currently extremely dangerous. Most embassy's could not insure our safety and recommended all non essential travel be canceled.

I was still willing to go, but Yamato felt unsafe and since most embassy's recommended we avoid all tourist places, we decided sitting in our hotel room half the time would not be fun.

So with just 3 dyads to spare we canceled our trip to Indonesia, taking a 3 man hit, then booked 10 man en tickets to Australia. We wanted some place warm and Australia is in the southern Hemisphere, thus experiencing summer currently. We thought we'd go to Melbourne which is on the south East, and slowly make our way up the coast.

Little did we know that Australia is about the size of the European continent. This should have been a no brainer seeing as Australia is a continent in itself. But no we were stupid, it is not a simple drive to Sydney from Melbourne its a maybe 2-4 day drive, and since we only had 2 weeks it was not going to happen. We had to catch a train, even then it would be an 11 hour train ride.

Sadly arriving in Australia we were hit with a sobering reality, it was FREEZING cold. Australia is currently in Summer time as it is in the souther hemisphere but Melbourne is on the southern most end of the country thus close to Antartica. It was about 10-15 degrees and we only had summer clothes. We had very little options and no hotel reservations and thus landed up in a hostel. We thought the hostel was a little expensive at 27 dollar but did not mind since we were freezing and tired.

Another sad note, is Melbourne while perhaps a nice city to live in, is merely that, a nice city to live in. If you were to visit you would find very little in terms of tourist attractions. I would not recommend this place, and was happy to leave after 3 days.

Another problem soon arose when we realized just about everything in Australia was expensive. We would go into shops and find that a can of soda (A CAN!) was about 2 dollars, a bottle 4.50. Basically expect to pay 10 dollars for a candy bar and a large bottle of coke. Insane. Finding a meal for less than 10 dollars mean eating at fast food.

We were running out of money quick, but we were already out of things to do in Melbourne. It would be over 100 dollars if we bought ahead of time, but if you hoped to catch a stand-by ticket we would have to come in the morning. To save money we slept in the train station, so we could get said 11 hour train ticket to Sydney. This was like a form of torture because while we could theoretically sleep there, we could not lay down. Did I also mention is was FREEZING COLD. I had pants on and I had a thin sweater and a thin jacket, but it was about 40 degrees F. I was SOOOO cold, more cold than in my shitty apartment, and I was tired and VERY SICK. The day before I left Japan I had a fever of 100 but thought I would have to be DYING to cancel on this trip.

After 6 hours of non sleep in a train station with hobos in the freezing cold we got the 11 hour train to Sydney. I slept for a good 8 hours of it. It was Christmas day and we ate a TV dinner that cost 9 dollars. It tasted bad but it was food in my stomach, and we were on our way to somewhere that was not ice cold, thus in away I was happy, but I feared for the rest of the trip.

Once we hit Sydney, we were amazed to find that almost ALL hostels were booked. Everyone comes to Australia in the December and New Years was expected to be worse. Another horrible thing was Hostels were twice as expensive in Sydney. We had to pay 37 dollars to share a room with 6 other people, there was one bath room per floor. Sydney was as expected expensive, everyday we ate fast food except one day we went to woolworths (still exists in Australia) and bought a chicken for 11 dollars and cheese and some crackers. We ate on the steps of city hall, with only plastic forks, no plates as we had no place to go.

The parks were nice and abundant but we often had to walk miles everyday to find a new hostel in the morning. We still wanted to get out and drive along the coast, but we were finding that not only were hostels all booked, so were rental cars. We finally got a car for a week after hitting many car companies that told us EVERY car on their lot was rented out. We could now sleep in the car once we got it, but still needed to find a place to stay for two more nights. Hostels right before New years were the most tight, but we managed to find one hostel near the beach for 40 dollars a day, we were now desperate. It was far from the city and the swells were so big that we could not swim.

It amazed me to see how many people just went on work vacation and lived in these hostels, partying every night, having one night stands and "looking for jobs". These hostels were jam packed with them. Many were from Europe and I suppose were used to the sticker shock, some of them even said Australia was cheaper than their country.

For us we could only manage about 2 meals a day. And I remember one day were I had a box of crackers for lunch and dinner and breakfast the next day.

Once we got the car we thought we had a bit more slack one money but were a bit wrong, even after changing out MORE money we realized we had about 50 dollars a day to eat, pay for gas and entertain ourselves. From here on out Mcdonalds became our home away from home. When not sleeping in our car, we'd be going to the bath room at Mcdonalds, than indulging in their 30 cent ice cream cones. (The only cheap thing) Even at Mcdonalds a small OJ (which is smaller than an American size kid's drink) was 2 dollars. One day we ate at Mcdonalds 3 times. I was at the time reading Fast Food nation, and the irony struck both me and Yamato. I had a 2 hour rant on how Mcdonalds is bad for our nation whilst eating at Mcdonalds.

Sleeping in the car meant finding a place to park and sleep, we parked on streets, truck stops, and wherever we could. It was hot and sticky in the car and I often had a hard time sleeping. The heat and light of the sun often woke us up at 7 in the morning. Showers were now far between because beaches have on the whole gotten rid of their showers. After 3 days of no shower, I was ready to go almost anywhere. I never felt so good after finding a shower at a beach, it was freezing cold and I had to wear a bikini while I showered, yet afterwards I had never felt so clean. I showered at the beach and used shampoo and soaped my body and did not care what people thought.

When I first started living this hobo lifestyle I was ashamed to walk into establishments to simply use the toilet, and wash my face in their bathrooms, and brush my teeth in their sinks. But on the beach in front of hundreds of strangers I had no shame in my cold beach shower.

We lived for a week in that car, driving to various beaches and national parks. We took 3 beach showers in that time, and ate at Mcdonalds more times than I care to remember.

One of my biggest fears in life was becoming a hobo. But for 2 weeks I basically had very little money and often times no place to sleep other than a car, and no where to shower but the beach. In those days, it was almost an adventure, and like all adventures it was a mix of fun, danger and most of all uncertainty. Still it taught me so much about myself and why I wanted to come to Japan in the first place.

I always lived comfortably, even though I was not a greedy child, nor one that was materialistic, I always had the means to buy what I needed and wanted. My family has the money to fly first class, stay in 4 star hotels, but I always felt I did not deserve such a lifestyle. I want to work for my money, and don't feel I deserve such treatment while other people get the short end of the stick. Though I did not go shopping for LV hand bags, I could not imagine myself sleeping in a car. In fact I joked with my best friend in High School that I rather die than become a hobo, but in reality it is not so bad.

This experience was very enriching and maybe I'll do it again, but for the most part I do not want to live in a car, showering at the beach.

As a note between all this hobo living I did actually manage to do a lot of tourist things. I got to see beautiful waterfalls, go on hikes, walk many new beaches, touch Koalas and Wallabies, compress a sheep and do lot's a neat things that were in fact fun. Granted I made a lot of this sound horrible, but in all it was a great holiday but not a great vacation.

I will never forgot how a Koala feels, nor will I forget the feel of not showering for 3 days and how refreshed and happy I felt finally showering in cold water at the beach. But most important for me was the self discovery I managed while doing these things.

At home I can always distract myself with internet, TV, books, music, and all the things around me. But when you have very little to do except sit in a park or have a discussion with the people around you, you really can reflect on what kind of person you are.

It may seem odd for a girl who moved to Japan to say she hates change but I do. While I do not mind change to my environment as I feel it is inevitable and something I cannot control or stop, I loathe changing myself. In fact I often welcome external change because I feel it can be the catalyst for improving myself, another reason why I came to Japan.

But simply changing the outside does not necessarily mean that change on the inside will surely follow. I have to activly reassess myself and my flaws and work hard towards correcting them.

I always have thought highly of myself, even though I know its bad. I knew I needed to change this aspect of myself for as long as I can remember but I often had difficulty mustering the will to do so.

I have high morals and opinions, and believe the world needs to become more fair. But I often do not live up to my own expectations. I want to help change things around me, and I often criticize others for being apathetic to the outside world, and I criticize others for not being more informed about the events surrounding our lives. While I criticize from this supposed moral high ground, I myself doing little to change the world around me, and while I feel I am generally informed I do not take in the suggestions or thoughts of others, but fully expect them to take my opinions into consideration.

Most important is what I realized about discussions. I do not do discussions, I do arguments. I do not want some softball "gathering" of idea's I want to spike my opinion's in to your face and get you to say uncle. I feel it brings out the best in me. It forces me to think on my feet and pool my information resources. But while I feel these arguments pull out the best in me, it also pulls out the worst.

I feel I am not that competitive. If I were to play basketball, volleyball or some board game and I were to lose I would not feel so bad. In fact I may not put much effort into the game at all. For me there is no reason to be competitive in those situations, they are things I am not good at and even putting in effort I am in no way guaranteed a win, so I feel killing myself and getting angry is just pointless.

But, when it comes to arguments I cannot simply roll over and die. I will fight bitter tooth and nail, and not give up. This stubbornness is horrible as arguments are about two people have differing opinions and each wishing to change the others minds using rational reasoning, facts and evidence. But when both people are so stubborn and fully believing they are right, they will not listen to reason, evidence or even to what the other is saying. I am not the only one who does this and thus felt justified in doing so, but when both people refuse to budge, no one moves forward.

Also when these things happen, and I feel the person is not budging no matter how much I push I cannot help but get angry. I also need to control my anger, whenever I am irritated tiny things push me over the edge, and no where is this more true than in the car. Yet, I need to drive so much, I cannot just spend all my time in this state of irritation. It is irrational and I hate that perhaps most of all.

Still calming myself down will not be easy. I in a way believe old dogs cannot learn new tricks, and even if they do it takes them a hell of a long time. But if I don't start now I wonder if I will ever change. Still trying to stop the rush of adrenaline and hormones that accompany anger may be a losing proposition, I suppose I'll just have to come up with ways to deal with them.

This year I really want to improve myself, not just superficially, like learning to play the guitar or learning more Kanji but trying to become a better person. The type of person I feel I could always become but always felt that it would be too much work to do so.

Once again, returning from a trip abroad all I can say is I love Japan, and I love Fukuoka.

So before signing off I'd like to thank Yamato for bringing me to a lot of these conclusions. When you think about things yourself without someone around you, it is easy to reason away your flaws, or perhaps when you have no one to compare yourself to you can delude yourself to believe that it is normal and ok. But when another person is there pointing them out, it is hard to ignore. Hope you didn't go too crazy spending so much time with me for two doom weeks.

Well there goes another long rambly post, if your still with me, I hope you too can have a wonderful new year. It's my last in Japan, and I hope to make the best of it.

いかん崎と鬼がらみ

2007-12-13T14:42:00.000+09:00

I have been talking to my students much more than I did before. I always thought I had a pretty good relationship with my students, but ever since I have started using more Japanese it has improved even more. In fact with some classes I talk to them rather often, and as such some of my students have been teaching me some BIZZARO words. I was really surprised when some students taught me "ikanzaki", they all told me that it meant "mottainai" or "a waste". So I thought to use it so I would never forget it. So in the next class when a kid was sleeping in my class I told him "ikanzaki", and NO ONE understood, they thought I was making fun of another kid whose name is kanzaki. Ikan, can mean not good, or bad. They thought I was making fun of his name!

So I told the girls who told me this, that I used it, and they all went. "NO! Only this class!" So I thought they made this word up.

Cue in a month later and the word "onigarami". This word means consisting of ogres, so I obviously thought they were insulting me. Especially when a girl told me me and her were onigarami. But EVERYONE knows what it means. When I ask them to explain it to me, they all are like ...............???????????? And then give up.

So I asked some teachers, none of them knew these words. And when hanging out with a bunch of 20 something year olds they also did not know these words. Had these kids just made this stuff up?! Well I decided to check the internet and they are actual words! BOTH OF THEM!!

Ikanzaki does mean a waste, and it can also mean something that is bad. I have no clue on the origin. Onigarami means that you are friends who often talk and play around. So my students aren't fucking with my heads, they just have no idea how to explain the words, and they are teaching me such inside words and new words not everyone has heard of them.

I think it is rather cool that I am now becoming rather cutting edge on this stuff! Go me!

I am working on my SEMESTER LONG PROJECT! I am actually unsure if my students can do this, but I have since convinced myself THEY CAN! And even if they can't I am going to make them do this, even if it kills them! Sadly trying to find 45 boards for 356 kids is a tall order, and I am currently going around schools asking for their discarded cardboard boxes. Go hobo Kristen, I think it will take me awhile to cut the boxes and then tape them back together.

If this project goes well, I will feel very satisfied with my final year, regardless how the next 6 months go. (The project is planned to end in March) I got my students to participate for a speech contest, the first time possibly ever in this school (at least according to the teachers), and one of them actually got second place! I will have gotten my students to learn and be evaluated in a new way. (Via posters and colored pencils and research) And will have gotten some students pen friends, so that their learning of foreign cultures can continue long after I am gone. If I can get my English Club up and running then I will feel on top of the world, but as it is I just hope the other three things will pan out.

Also on another note, I have given up on Alcohol. How long this will last is doubtful, but after a weekend of drinking culminating with a drunken weeknight that led me to stumble home, I have decided enough killing of brain cells. I have drunken enough in my life. Hell when I turned 21 I drank on average 12 drinks almost every night! That went on for almost a year, and even before that I probably drank the equivalent of 10 bottles of vodka when I was younger (if not more o.0). Even though I drank enough to put down a bear, I never really got too sick or hung over, but on Tuesday was I EVER hung over. It was PAINFUL, and my stomach did not recover for DAYS. I still think my mind is a bit fuzzy after that incident.

So with that, I decided to just stop drinking. Granted it is fun, but I've given up enough brain cells to the cause. I want to die a bit young, I do not want to die now.

And if I need to die now, than I hope it is in the fettle position huddled in my sleeping bag from the cold.

Plans

2007-12-07T10:23:00.000+09:00

Now that I have decided that I am going home come August, I have decided to become the best ALT I can. Granted I have improved, (I never leave to eat out, I come on time and stay till 5:15 at least 3 times a week, I clean with the students EVERYDAY) there are so many areas I could do better!

My work load has decreased at an insane rate! From the high of 19 classes a week (making 4 distinct lesson plans!) I have dropped down to the abysmal 9 classes a week. As it was, I was semi-content to be bored for two days a week, but now I am making grand plans for next semester. Can you say, semester long project! Oh yeah!

Granted the kids make me sad... a lot. I feel in some ways these kids are better. For example these kids generally understand difference between the words green and greener, and words like far and close, last years did not. Unfortunately, since I use more Japanese this year and some JTE's actually translate A LOT for me, the kids listening skills are WAY down, along with my patience.

Last year I would sit there and slowly talk the kids through EVERY activity, and if they asked me a questions I'd stand there gesturing anything to get them to understand. Now days, I often fall back to the Japanese. Granted I use no grammar and only basic Japanese, but I think I can use even less.

Than again, in other ways this batch of kids have MUCH WORSE English. I am amazed that kids do not know the word, "do". I often get things like, play clean, play study, the generic verb of English is do, not play!

I often see sentences without keys things, like subject, or is. Questions without the key question.

Still we are going to do this semester long project, and if I get sentences like that, then so be it! Regardless I just want them to do something creative. I hope they can have fun while studying about other places, especially when their dreams involve becoming lunch ladies for grade schools.

Another thing I AM going to do, is make my own special classes for Eiken after school. As it is, I usually help about 5 students, but really I am telling them the exact same thing, 3 kids do not have to wait around for an hour just so I can tell him the same thing I told the previous 2.

Hopefully, along with cleaning with the kids, I can eventually get to the point where I will eat with them. Sadly, I hate FIGHTING the other kids for the last kara-age bowl, and waiting in the BIZARRO long line at the cafeteria, thus I have been avoiding it. Maybe I can just segway myself into eating in their classrooms on a rotating basis. My number one fear is, I will be sitting there by myself as the kids are in their own worlds.

I liked Japanese when I was in High School, but I'd be as willing to stick a bottle up my bum as to force all my friends who sat with me at lunch to talk to my Japanese teacher in Japanese for the 45 minutes of peace we had.

And last, I am going to make a pen friends available to all student who wish to obtain one. I have already got one girl signed up, and I am going to ask all my students next week.

Hopefully if the Eiken lessons go well, I will expand this to a full once a week English circle. I;ve attempted this twice, but without a solid base it fails after about 2 go's. Sadly the most convenient time for this in Wednesday, this means I may have to quit Japanese classes.

A lot of people back home may think "Oh, you've been in Japan for 2 years you must be fluent! But, I am not here to learn Japanese, I am here to teach English. I hate that when ever people ask what JET's are here for 90% of the time I get answers like "Grass roots internationalizing", "Letting kids get to see foreigners" "Let kids have fun for an hour a week" We are English Teachers damn it, I am going to teach these kids some English even if it kills me AND them. If we aren't doing things that other Japanese teacher can just do themselves aren't we truly just wastes of money?

The fact that 7 girls from my HORROR class has now switched from saying "See you" to "later" fills me with a sense of accomplishment. The fact that kids now feel comfortable enough to come into the teachers room just to talk to me, makes me feel like I am doing things. Hell, one girl who is just about the worst student in the grade stops me just to chat about how she got caught using her cell phone in school 3 times thus got it taken away, about how she is so cold (I want to tell her stop using the damn thing in class, and if she just stopped rolling up her skirt maybe she'd be less cold). Even if I have to suck it up through lessons where screaming at kids to be quiet take up as much time as activity explanation, and I have students laughing at me more than actually writing something on their papers.

Some people think, I'm going home who cares if I come in late, who cares if I roll out at 10:45, what are they going to do fire me, not re-contract me!? Well I decided I am going to go home, and in the time I have left I want to prove to myself and to the teachers of this school that I was here for a reason, and I did not just waste my time.

I honestly did not come to Japan to teach kids, I came to Japan to improve myself as a person, become fluent in Japanese, and travel. But, now I can only think about helping these kids. Freezing cold, lack of running water and heat be damned, I am going to make the most of these last months the way I think I ought to.

Decided

2007-12-03T14:18:00.000+09:00

Today after another typical day at work I think I've truly decided on what I will do. I am going home, with out a doubt. I have another six months, and knowing that days like these will not be uncommon, I feel I have had enough.

I am just tired of teaching. I do not have that great of a relationship with my other teachers, and there are just too many kids who make this job terrible. Once again kids were teasing me in class, and before class. You'd think after about over a year of it, I'd be pretty used to it..... but no.

It's rather sad as there are a handful of kids who I really like in that class of horror, but the horrible students who just sit there laughing at me the ENTIRE class makes me just want to die. The teacher has no control over the kids, as they often laugh at him to. And though I often try to let the comments slid, I am really just fed up.

I do feel like I have made some progress as that class used to be so bad it was truly painful. I'd dread going in, but now days I've managed to get a few kids to stop talking and try The worse part is that there are good kids there, it's just the strong kids in that class have bad attitudes and the class will generally follow that said mood.

Some kids in that class somehow actually like me, when I told them I may go back in August they told me, no. And when I told them another alt would come, they still told me no. While that was nice the fact that about 7 kids will just make fun of me to my face is horrible. They have even figured out I speak Japanese to some capability, so teasing me in my presence is obviously to get me angry. Of course I don't in front of them, though I wonder what the hell I am supposed to do? I can't really do much but get angry at them, I can't really punish them.

I have asked some kids what they said in front of me once, to which they will then refuse to repeat it. And honestly I do not want to repeat what they said to me. And once they drew an offensive picture of me and then they refused to show it. It was 10 minutes of the actual teacher trying to get it from the student, who then ripped up the paper. That teacher did nothing to punish the student... I guess I am just going to suck it up till the end of the year when I can just finally go home.

On another note, I finished the NaNoWriMo! Woooo!! I started on the 12th, wrote for 5 days in a row, then took a two day break, wrote one more day before actually needing to work, then couldn't write for 7 days! Basically after keeping a pace of about 5,000 words a day, I was up to 30,000 words but I had two days to write 20,000 words! The first day wasn't a big problem as I had few classes, but on Friday I not only had 3 classes, but I had to climb my schools mountain, then go to a welcome party! I basically had 3 hours to write 10,000 words! But through bull shit and crazy I managed it, and finished the story!!!!! Obviously at that clip I am not exactly writing quality but it's.... generally coherent.

I am happy I can still manage to do some really insane things. I am happy that I have not completely forgotten how to write.

On even more notes, winter has finally come and I am nursing a mean cold. I actually had to walk out of class because I could not stop coughing for a FULL THREE MINUTES. I actually walked back in at the half way point only to realize I could still not manage to talk without coughing. Crazy times.

And seeing as this blog has not been really tied together with anyone particular theme, I'm going to go off on something that has been bothering me of late. I've been thinking about my future and though I am doing a lesson on my student's dreams and future job prospects I find it amusing that I myself am still at a complete lose. I often feel this is a result of a childhood where I was constantly told I could do anything, ANYTHING. But given little more guidance on to what factors would be most important in decided what exactly I was going to do.

It seems in America we are given such broad options, and big dreams we often reach for things that are not sensible. You want to be an Astronaut? GREAT! A LAWYER, GREAT! How's about being a little more realistic, parents and teachers of America?

Alternatively in Japan my students have already narrowed their choices so much, I can see why they have a very difficult trying to decide on their future when many teachers have already limited them to a handful of blue collar jobs. I actually had about ten gasoline stand workers, in the section "my dream".

In so many ways I feel that America's you can do anything if you try is misguided as it sets a lot of people up for a bitter reality (I mean seriously 50% drop out rate in college, shouldn't that be a wake up call?) But the alternative that is Japan is so harsh, for kid's at age 15-16 to be SO realistic is quite sobering.

Not that all the kids were completely realistic, I actually had more "rich-girl/rich-man" dreams than gasoline stand worker. But I had NO doctors, although there were about 20 nurses. There was ONE veterinarian, but about 10 pet shop workers. And the most popular future profession/dream: Hair Stylists, and House wife.

I want to tell the students anything is possible, but really, with the class of horror just talking and laughing in their seats, I really had to wonder if they could go for some of the jobs I had written down. And when I saw options such as Gasoline Stand worker, I did not really question them. Have my opinions changed? Have I lost hope for my students? I truly hope not, but I am beginning to see how I have become so jaded in opposition to the system. I always put on a smile but do the students know, I only smile to prevent myself from crying.

Ugh...

2007-11-15T09:13:00.000+09:00

Normally I write about things concerning Japan, whether it be a normal thing that has become a struggle in Japan, or usually me venting about Japan and my work. But today I will talk about something that has plagued me for a long time, that really doesn't have much to do with Japan other than the fact its happening like it always does, only now I live in Japan.

Ever since I was very young maybe in the 4th grade, so I supposed 9-10 I've been getting painful stomach pains and bloating. It was at the time very infrequent but hideously painful. Often times it would occur when I was attempting to not do my homework, and my mom would always think I was lying. But when I got older around 15 it took a turn for the worse. As I had gone from a rather lazy do nothing kid, to rather athletic, these painful stomach aches turned into combination painful stomach ache, back aches, asthma that could last for HOURS.

If that sounds horrible, well it is. Nothing seemed to help, anti-acids didn't do that trick, and even thought my back felt tight massages only seemed to make them worse, my stomach would bloat so bad I just wanted to jab myself with a knife to relieve the pressure.

Anyhow, being the stupid person I am, since it only happened perhaps once every 3 months or perhaps every 5 months, I just ignored it. Even when it got pretty bad and it was occuring about every month when I was around 20, I kinda ignored it. I just realized if I take the pain killers right away, then the muslces don't tense up. Also I realized if I just throw up I feel so much better.

I also realized along the way that it didn't seem to be high stomach acid, even though whenever I got it I would burp up painful bile. (not throw up keep in mind, literally just stomach acid and spittle) Because whenever I did throw up, I often threw up the contents of my stomach that I SHOULD have digested long ago. Sometimes if it was particularly painful, and I waited a particularly long time I could barf things I ate 2 days ago. So I assumed it was low stomach acid, of course knowing this doesn't do anything, since what could I do?

Well finally going to the doctor, he listens to what I tell him and tells me I have IBS, and to take this medicine everyday. Of course I wait till before I come to Japan, and he gives me a supply of maybe a month. Also looking up IBS on the internet, showed symptoms I didn't seem to have. So stupidly I didn't take the medicine.

Of course in Japan I sometimes get this horrible sickness, with the frequency of about every 3 months. The only crappy thing is, I can't decide to not go to work, even if I am sick till 3 in the morning rolling around in extreme pain unable to sleep due to said pain. Also painkillers that are NOT aspirin (thus just going to make my stomach pain worse) are hard to find in Japan, so I often find my strategy of "bloating! quick get the pain killers!" a fail.

So, I've been noting the things I eat that cause the pain. I already had milk and most milk products down. I'm a bit lactose, not to the point where I can't eat any milk product but enough that when I do I get that violent sickness. There is a threshold but it seems to float depending on the situation and what i am eating, so like a fool I risk it every time. Also just discovered in Japan is very oily food, I had my suspicions due to the fact when every I threw up there was a lot of oil floating in it, but I assumed that is what stomach acid looked like, but when I got really sick eating VERY oily katsu, it confirmed my suspicion.

And worse yet, the two things I love oh so much, spicy foods and mints. Yesterday, I had some cocoa from the vending machine, and unlike America which uses powdered milkd and water (which is a smidgen more bearable for me)it was made with real milk and cream. Half way through I was ready to hurl, so I put it down and just took some warm water and oolong tea (green tea seems to make it worse). It went away, so foolishly I went to eat Indian curry. Granted it was bad enough getting spiciness 30 curry when they say 10 is considered hot (the max is 50) but then I got CHEESE nan. I thought "well garlic makes me gassy, too. Another food I LOVE that I now limit)
I love cheese nan, but it was SOOO oily! Even I could barely eat it, but since it was an extra 2 dollars I decided to eat it anyhow.

My back started hurting so I decided to go to the chiropractors, though I knew that massages usually made the pain worse, I thought maybe a professional would be better? Well it wasn't and around 9 o'clock that pain started. So I took the medicine the doctor gave me (which is a preventative) and tried to grit through it. I was burping up some horrible bile (pure acid, lots of spittle and chili pepper oil) I knew it was a combo of the oil and spicyness. So I started eating mints since my throat was burning. This of course just creates more spit which as a note neutralizes my already low stomach acid.

It was painful laying down so I sat up and bummed on the internet till 12. But laying down was just horror, from 12-3 I rolled around in pain. I can scarcely remember sleeping but it was painful enough where time kinda faded away and I just rolled around going "ugh, ugh, ugh" till before I knew it, it was 3.

By this time I realized the bloating was not going to go away naturally and went to eh toilet to hurl. My body actually managed to digest most of my food, and I just threw up oil, spiciness, acid, and mint. Reconfirming what I already suspected, all the foods I love hate me.

Looking up on the internet for low stomach acid I find that alcohol can also make my stomach go wah, wah. I've given up garlic and mashed potatoes, but MINTS! AND SPICY FOODS! Ugh, I am hoping if I just do it in moderation it will help. But I had to blog on this to LAMENT the possible lose of my favorite foods in my limited diet. Oh damn you cursed body and your crappiness!

So, I am going to stay away from oily and milk foods like the plague! Hopefully the spicy will be ok, and maybe I won't be able to drink spicy sauce like I sometimes enjoy doing. (not really drinking it, but eating it with things to a ratio of 1:1) Bah, but that's half the fun!

On another note on Tuesday I started the NaNoWriMo. It's the National Novel writing Month challenge, where I have one month to write 50,000 words. I started on Tuesday which means I didn't write for about 12 days, which means I have to write about 2,777 words a day to make it. But, I don't really want to write on the weekends so I decided to write just on the weekdays, upping my total to 3,777 words a day. As of yesterday (being a day and a half from my start point) I have written 12,600 words! Granted its basically crap, but I've read samples of other peoples work and I must say at least my dialog indicates who is speaking! The plot is semi cohesive and things are actually developing in a way that somewhat makes sense. I think I am doing pretty good for a clip of over 6,000 words a day. If I can keep this up I'll be done by next week Thursday!

I hate reading as a note, and I do not like fiction. I'm mostly doing this because writing quickly and under pressure used to be the talent that got me through college. Sadly, I feel in Japan I haven't been utilizing it at all! In fact, I feel my brain is going stagnant. Where as before, whenever I got an assignment I would mull over what I wanted in my brain and then just go at it when the time came, but now I have nothing to mull over and I just note stupid things.

This bull shit thing is kind of shot in the arm I need, and a useful distraction in the boringness that is the week before and finals week. Ugh, two weeks of next to nothing!

Re-contracting

2007-11-05T08:43:00.000+09:00

Last year around this time of the year I got my re-contracting papers. I signed it upon receiving it. When I first came to Japan I promised myself, short of the students SETTING ME ON FIRE, I was going to stay for two years. I knew I could not do everything in a year, and in reality at the time I did not really enjoy teaching or honestly the students, but I had made up my mind before hand.

This year, I have no received my papers at all....because my supervisor is a bit of a laggard on stuff like this. Regardless I know other ALT's have received these papers and I knew many people are debating this. Its amazing how many ALTs have seemingly changed their minds, or how their perspective of Japan has gotten better and better.

In some ways I feel better about my job and Japan, and in other ways, I am just worn out and can't stand it. Particularly with my job, right now I am sitting here doing nothing, and the previous week I was sitting around doing very little. I taught 4 classes last week, and I'll teach 5 classes this week. I often complain when I am busy, but never to my teachers, and somehow they seem to be giving me less and less work. Granted I theoretically do more, since I now make and grade tests consistently, but since I no longer go to second year classes, or third year classes, I have seen my previous schedule of 17 classes a week dwindle to basically nothing.

Some people would rather be happy with this, but I am starting to debate if my old schedule was better. I feel so useless and I feel the other teachers resentment since all I do is SIT HERE. I also feel the reason for me extreme derth in classes is due to the teachers feeling my lessons are a waste. And also I feel a real disconnect with my teachers, they always try to talk to me when I am a rather dour mood, and its basically my own fault for just not trying to talk to them. I suppose I could take it upon myself to do other things that in the end somehow benefit the school, but seeing as I am already in a funk I have a hard time trying to go the extra mile.

But, I love Japan on the most part. I feel like I can do so much more here. In Hawaii, I am afraid I'll just be that lazy bum I used to be. In Japan its so easy to go traveling, just up and decide to do certain things I want to just because, and I am independent. I get to decide what to eat, what curtains to buy, granted most times I eat out, and I have not changed the curtains that have been there from god knows when, but still I love the options.

Also, I am missing home and the people. Since my friend has died things seem a bit more chaotic at home. But, I feel like I've made so many friends in Japan I think and know I'll miss them a lot when I go back. It's a hard choice, I really need to think about it more, I keep on saying I 80% want to go home, but there really is a lot of me wanting to stay.....

Highs and Lows

2007-10-22T10:42:00.000+09:00

My school participated in a Speech contest this Saturday. The contest was a constant source of stress for me, for about the past 3 weeks. I've been spending LOT's of time helping the four students who joined. My school has NEVER had ANYONE attempt something like a speech contest. And though teachers had participated in contests before in their previous schools, this contest was unique. It was made very easy, as kids did not have to memorize their speech or even make it. So no one really could help me.

I made the speeches for them, then recorded my voice, then trained them, then made it easier for them, then re-recorded my voice and trained more and then more. All told I think I spent at least 40 hours NON WORK HOURS on this, not including taking my Saturday off to join them.

In the end one of my students won second place. And the winner of the first place was a college student, from the college that put the contest on, and her teacher was a judge. So I was a bit bitter she didn't get first. But everyone assured me that in the back its ALL politics.

Still, I was happy that all my work in a way paid off. Also in the hall ways I ran into a third year students I hadn't seen in a long time. She is well known to me, I met her last year as a second year when she HATED English. She was the captain of the first club I joined so I often talked to her. But her English WAS so bad, she could not even answer me "What is your name" She couldn't even spell her own name right. But I talked to her a lot, and worked hard to make English fun for her whenever I went to the club.

In the end she really came to enjoy English, and even joined the intensive English course I taught. Due to business and (the teacher who heads the class not liking me =/) I havn't seen her. But in that class I got to know that she was just going to some crappy 2 year college, and then just getting a job. I always told her she could do better. And when I saw her she not only told me "long time no see" (I TAUGHT HER THAT!) but also that she was going to try for Fukuoka College. A proper four year one. I almost cried, I thought wow I am making a difference, not just making their English better, changing lives.

I know I am not the only factor, in fact I may have just been a small factor but I KNOW I somehow played a part in it. In fact it was the first thing she told me, I know she told me it because I always told her "Why not a four year college"

It almost made me think I want to stay another year. But, honestly I have been really busy and my school has not been so forgiving. I have been spending a lot of after school time helping the kids, and taking time off my weekend, but when I desperately needed to go to the doctor they refused to let me take off without taking paid leave. I have very limited paid leave and do not want to use it. So though I really needed to go, I still have not went....

Also a close personal friend died recently, and I guess it's my own fault I don't want to break down and tell the other teachers this. I just suck it up and teach my classes with this smile, then helped the speech kids.

The speech is finally over and I now feel I can relax. I debated starting an English club with the girls who did the speech contest but that would take so much more work due to scheduling.

I am happy I am finally starting to make a difference, but I don't know if it's enough..........

Kana is a funny name for a guy......

2007-10-12T16:05:00.000+09:00

Funny stories ahead. A lot has happened recently good and bad, but we're just going to pretend they didn't happy as they are not blog friendly....as in they are long and ranty and I am tired of rants.

Today after almost 2 weeks of not talking to students I climbed a mountain with them. It's normally a monthly ritual but due to meetings and me not being here for whatever such reason I havn't climbed the mountain in awhile.

So it took a smidge to get into the groove. I decided to climb with a class who is rather genki in my classes, oddly I got stuck between two really quiet girls and two really loud girls, somehow this lead to no conversation happening.

After about 15 minutes of not talking I was getting tired of not talking, the kids generally won't talk to me unless I initiate it and I normally do. For some reason it felt weird to suddenly start talking when I hadn't for so long. Ah shame you are the ban of teachers.

finally I told to the two insanely quiet girls, who literally walk in step together and are clearly good friends, yet had failed to say a word to one another in the entire trip "are you always so quiet?" Of course they dont understand this, its rather a complex phrase. So I say the understandable, "no talking?" and they understand. They don't respond to this though, they just laugh and smile to one another. So I think, telepathy? So i ask, "Do you use telepathy?" And they respond, "oh yes, telepathy!" Telepathy sounds hard but I used these words on purpose, because I know in Japanese the word is "telepathy"

Right after this short interlude they once again go into silent mode. They are a freaky pair, they never talk, even to one another yet they are attached by the hip to one another. I swear when they walk, they walk at the exact same pace! It's creepy, its like they march to one another beat, literally. Good for them.

Anyhow eventually I get two girls to talk to me. I talk to them about music, and whatever they can understand, and eventually it lands up on their club. Clubs in my school are hard core and they are always a source of conversation.

It later breaks into favorite music, then actors, then of course the boys they like. The other never fail subject. I know a lot of people in their club since I used to visit the club all the time, also thanks to my memory I remember a lot of their names, and them.

So they start talking about upperclassmen they like. And honestly in their club the guys arn't that hot. But, they go on about so and so, who has a nice smile, and so and so who is good at kyudo, etc. Finnally one girl goes, "I love kana sempai" And I think...which boy had the name kana? Then she says the last name and I realize, oh the girl?!

"Kana, in 2-2 kumi" and she agrees with a " I love, I love" So the other girl chimes in, "No, No, 2-5 kana is cute! I love insert last name here-> kana" And then it becomes a bizzaro engrish argument about which kana is made out of more love. In the end they agree "both are cute" of course by this time the English has stopped and I just know this by listening to their Japanese.

Does this mean they are lesbians.....no, not at all in fact. In Japan, its just so normal to one second be talking about the guys you love, and then talk about the girls you love and find cute. Oh Japan, your so silly.

Also, jersey sounds like Georgie to ALL my students. Hilarious as the Japanese word for jersey is Ja-ji, so how does jer-z sound MORE like georgie? Oh well. Silliness as always.

Losing Control

2007-09-10T10:13:00.000+09:00

I am currently using a lesson plan I created that allows for EVERY SINGLE students to come up and speak to me, at least one sentence and they MUST remember the answer. (They also must speak to their JTE, which is hilarious as the JTE's say this is the first time they are ever hearing a lot of their students say anything in English to them) Granted not every student comes up because they either choose not to participate at all, or they just slag off.

Consequently during the game the JTE and me are very busy answering questions and at least half the class is sitting down doing something, (thats at least 20 students) which basically means it can easily lead to chaos. ESPECIALLY in my classes, kids have literally pounded the walls, gotten each other into choke holds, scratched offensive pictures into their desks.

I was really worried, as those were some of my better classes. But today I realize order was broken down so easily due to lack of respect.

I am generally really nice to my students, I don't want them afraid of me and I think some (a lot) of my schools bizarro rules are unnecessary and superfluous(silly word). BUT, today I was teaching with a JTE of mine, shes a part timer but I teach A LOT of lessons with her (3, which is a lot for just one teacher in my school) I sometimes think shes really too strict.

Today while making pairs, two groups of girls made groups of threes, which is silly since the game asked to make pairs. The girls didn't really want to move, and this exercise was only supposed to take 2 minutes, but she got angry screamed at them to move their asses and make pairs. It took something like 3 minutes just to do this, as the girls were I guess moody and not wanting to listen. BUT this teacher STOOD her ground, and I thought holy shit this is insane, just who cares. She is often like this and I just stand there kinda like what should I do, with this face of slight confusion.

BUT, in the game, the one where many classes lost control, they were well ordered, they generally listened and it went well. Probably went the best of all classes so far, even though class 8 is not the brightest. The control this lady has over the classes really makes teaching easier.

The problem with one class (which is not dumb, but they just were animals in the lesson) is that they have no respect for the teacher. They call her by her first name, and she often loses control of them. But, she is really nice to them and generally acquiesces to their rudeness and demands (calling her rudely by her first name in a shouting manner) I have a VERY hard time teaching with her class, half the time we are just shouting pointlessly (pointlessly because it never works) at the students. I really should not get angry at them, as that does not endanger respect or even fear just makes me scream, making them scream, thus creating more chaos. (Also the ones I have gotten angry at, then dislike me from then on becoming even MORE difficult in my classes, ugh vicious cycle)

I wish I wasn't so nice in the beginning, well at least I wish the teachers were more strict so I could be nice. But, seeing as out of 6 of the teacher I teach with, only 2 have any form of respect from their students, I am really unsure of what to do. I wish I could mind wipe them and have them respect me, but in this school you certainly HAVE TO EARN it. And you don't earn respect by being nice in this school, these kids know when you give an inch to take a mile, and I think I've already given them a yard.

So, this school isn't that bad, as long as you know what to do . AND DAMN IT, it sure took me a long time. Actually I realized a long time ago I did not have to be their friend to be a good teacher, BUT I still tried to be very nice....ugh just being strict works best here. The ALT 3 ALTs ago was strict, and did well in the school....granted he did hit the kids, and granted he was a VERY large man...and he spoke Japanese to the students... damn it I keep on forgetting the level of my students. I don't want to give in, I see the ALT's with schools my level who just speak to the kids in Japanese and I think that if thats the case then we just become pointless, but as time goes on I really start to debate my strategy....

Once again I am torn in my decision to stay another year....

Peeing in Japan

2007-09-06T10:46:00.000+09:00

So, maybe you do not know this, but in Japan, it's considered rude to make the pee noise. So for you unenlightened or men, Japan is full of what I call squatie potties. They are basically porcelain holes in the ground. When you use them to pee, you squat and well noise is made when pee hits water. In Japan women just do not make this noise, when in the presences of other females, they flush the toilet. The swirling of the noise masks the unpleasantness.

I knew about this little cultural quirk from before I came to Japan. I was informed by one of my zanier high school teachers, what bought that on and why we spent class time talking about it is beyond me but whatever.

I generally abide by the rules and try my best not to make the pee noise. I often thought of it like being from a country where its socially acceptable to fart. You've been there for a short time and noticed "Wow, no one else seems to be doing it" but you let one rip one day, and everyone stares....with those eyes, with the eyes!

Anyhow, I did not want that happening to me. But unlike holding in your farts, which can create some gas problems, it harms only you. And in fact it prevents other people from having to deal with stinkyness. Sadly flushing the toilet to mask pee noise wastes a lot of water. I sometimes hear women flushing up to 3 times for one bathroom break!

I never flush, or resist unless in dire straits! I often wait for the other person to flush then let it go, or wait for the other person to leave. I always thought it be weird to pee. But another friend who also finds it weird but doesn't abide by the rules went" Dude, its cultural exchange, just make the pee noise!"

I debated and debated, and sometimes I made the noise, and other times I did not... but today in the toilet I was kinda holding it in waiting for the other person to flush (again) and I thought damn it, HUMANS MAKE THE PEE NOISE! And I let it rip. I felt quite liberates and I hope from my influence less women will flush the toilet and accept that we make the pee noise.

I'm going to pretend that my previous example of farting does not exist, because I know its really analogous, and really I kinda realize they are judging my pee noise makingness. OH WELL! So other foreign women in Japan, do not be afraid of a little pee noise, were here for grass roots internationalization, and making the pee noise is one damn good example.

I may come to love this school yet....

2007-09-01T14:59:00.000+09:00

Recently I've been deep into Sports Day practice. Sports day is a big deal in my school, as most kids are in a sports club, and unlike a lot of school we do not have a Culture Festival. What this means is we put a lot into this event. I came into this school year very jaded and dismayed. I felt like all my work was bearing very little fruit. The kids were rotten much like my lessons, and I had begun to lose patience with the kids. I also realized a lot of them did not aspire to be much, usually things like Pastry chefs, Hair stylists, nail artists....things that I knew would not be requiring much English.

But, my neighbor told me something, as a foreigner with little Japanese, going to any of those places she would hope they could help her. And if something I teach them can help her, then in the long run arn't I doing something good. And then another thing, my school is somewhat blue collar and a lot of workers in the area I live are former students. I went a chiropractor and that person was a former student of my school (in Japan its a profession that requires a two year trade school degree) and at the end of the session he attempted to tell me my bill in English, bless his heart he couldn't.

So lately, I've been just trying to be nice to the kids, to talk to them at every chance. Unlike last year, I've been kinda distant to the kids, since they are basically little shits in most of my classes. I also didn't want to play favorites like I did last year (where I managed to help class 2 at cleaning time something like 5 times vs class 6's once...) But, some kids like English more than others, and some kids will like it more. I think I'm doing them a disservice if I avoid them simply because they want to talk to me, and some others don't.

But, I am also just attacking random kids. I used to think that forcing them to speak English just makes them hate it more, but I come up to them without difficult English. I try to speak proper English, but often in really short bursts. Lately, I've even been having fun. Talking to even the worst students, sometimes it inevitably fails, and I get students running away. But lately, even bad students have been running up to me or attempting to talk to me with out me having to prompt them. I get some bizarre-o sentences but its been fun. I almost feel like I can do this. But, we'll see as I have not even started actual lessons.

So I'm happy and some kids have come into clean the teachers room so time for more FORCED ENGLISH!

I don't do short posts

2007-08-24T10:04:00.001+09:00

Well, I often try to make posts short and easily consumable and somehow they EXPLODE into semi rants. Such is my mental process. Oh well. I'll try again today as yesterdays short blog attempt was so fail.

The reason I am blogging is nothing more than I am completely bored. And it seems like no one else is blogging. I often try and find things to do in my school to keep me occupied. But really with no classes going on there is little I can do. I made an listening test, wrote out the questions, laid it out, made more questions, made a script, recorded it, drew some maps all sorts of things. But really, it did not take so much time doing all of these things.

I find no matter what I need to do, it seems to only take me maybe a few minutes or perhaps an hour to breeze through it. Then I am bored, forced to find something new. It may be due to the fact, I don't like doing things slow. I want things done...not now, but 5 minutes ago. It takes awhile to get it done keep in mind due to the fact I am inherently lazy, and a big procrastinator. Knowing things can be done so quickly, I figure, why start now. I like when the pressures on a bit.

Well anyhow, this post is merely to comment on how today is bowing ceremony. It means that all of us "teachers" must get together in front of some big-wigs of the ken (prefecture/state) and bow. Its a affair where I should dress to impress, thus I searched for my summer suit. The suit I came to Japan a little over a year ago. Alas I could not find it, I could only find my winter suit, which has a double layer in the suit to keep me warm. That is something I DO NOT WANT! So, time was of the essences and I did not want to be late, so instead of looking moar, I just got out my scissors turned the pants inside out and cut out the lining. GO ME! I figure I have 3 winter pants suits, 2 winter skirts (such a Japanese thing) and 5 winter suit jackets, I can bust up one or two.

So, now that this is done I am back on my hunt for things to do. I should be studying Japanese, I should be reading...but some how thats just so fail...... Any other suggestions?

It takes a Village....

2007-08-23T16:16:00.000+09:00

For about two weeks my school has been having sports day practices. Sports day are basically "fun" distractions for kids. I use the word fun loosely since really its not studying but it's basically standing out in the BLAZING DEATH hot sun for hours on end, staying up all night preparing, making costumes, and doing a lot of work.....so I suppose a very Japanese High School notion of fun.

The track team has a meet on the day of the festival, but this being Japan, they can not simply stand to the sides going "Nah, Nah, Nah, boo, boo I don't have to do that~" Instead they smooth the field with brushes (when I say field I mean giant sand box) draw the lines into said field (as the "track", baseball field and any other sport held in my school is basically held in a giant field of sand, and all measurements and tracks and lines must be drawn in by said students)or even pick up the large rocks that have some how migrated into this field of sand.....

Well, the past few days there have been MASSIVE storms, thus all the lines the track and field kids have spent hours drawing in had faded away. So they broke out their 400 ++ meter long measuring tapes and measured the fields out. At the end of the day the wheel to wind up the massively long measuring tape had a piece break off. It was the handle to wind up the said tape. So cue in 2 students, and 3 teachers all trying to get this thing to wind up. It is a big deal, as its about 400 meters laid out in a tangle (thats 1/4 mile worth of tape)and they are doing all sorts of things to wind it up. At first they try to just use the nub to wind it up, then someone brings a hammer and they hit it a bit...which obviously does little, finally they use a nail and with the power of hammer jam said nail into the existing nub. Problem solved right? Now only 2 teachesr and two students needed to stand there untangling the mess while one girl winded it up... all was good and fine till the nub broke off (I guess pounding it with the hammer sure didn't help)

So once again all 5 were fiddling with it, the teachers soon realizes well the kids just gotta wind it by hand. And so this is what the two students did, they jammed their tiny hands into the spool and slowly, painfully slowly were winding it. Did I mention on the side of this wheel were holes, holes were you could probably stick the nail in to and use it to wind up said tape....well there was. And I stood there looking at them, thinking how long will it take them to figure this out. Well about 15 minutes into the whole mess, and about 5 minutes of the girl winding it by hand. I came in grabbed the nail told the girl to stop and showed them the way. They were amazed...and I was stunned.

Granted, this seems like common sense to perhaps people in the west. But, what is common sense? Common sense is just what people around you would most likely do or know. To Japanese, instead of sitting there by yourself figuring it out (which is what an American would do), common sense is to get into a group and discuss it. This is what kids do in class (gasp I've been asked a question in English...CONFERENCE!) and it is also common sense to them to not think outside of the box but to use things for their intended purpose. A NAIL....AS A HANDLE!!! SAY IT ISN'T SO!

This makes it sound like I'm criticizing but in a way I'm not. In some situations this would be a great idea. As a group some things just get done faster and more heads together is better than one. The west conception of doing it yourself and reaping all the rewards makes people pompous and pig headed, not wanting to ask for help. Also when you fuck up since it's all on you, your more inclined to hid it.

Still, it was measuring tape and it tooke 6 people to wind it.....holy shit! I guess it was a nice excuse to sit under the shade out of the blazing death sun...so perhaps thats the real reason...

One years past..................No, I do mean past, not passed.

2007-08-08T09:32:00.000+09:00

Well then, honesty time. I did write past intending to write passed, but instantly noticed my mistake and thought this way made it sound more introspective, like looking at the past year vs simply saying a year has passed.

Anyhow on to the real post! It has been one year since I've been in Fukuoka. Theoretically I left Hawaii on the 6th, but I landed up in Tokyo and really I don't count that for much. Sure there was all the good-byes and such, but really only my dad went and he didn't even see me off, he kinda just unloaded my bags and drove off. =/

I really remember stepping off that plane into 35 (95) degree heat, to this day all sorts of in-between temperatures in my mind are in Fahrenheit but whenever I get to crazy extremes that we just about never experience in Hawaii it switches to Celsius. I find that amusing. I could not tell you how cold it gets in Fukuoka, at least not in Fahrenheit, because all I knew was the Celsius and since I never experience something analogous I can only think of what I experienced, which was Celsius.

Thats basically how Japan was for me this past year. So many things were new. Not just in the, wow it's Japan and so different! Its like a totally different thing! NO! It's basically Kristen has never experienced this before I only know of Japan version.

From living on my own, working a full time job, buying my own car insurance, planning my own international trips, etc. Everything is new to me, and in that way it's almost hard to explain my Japan experience because really it's more like explaining my life on my own, period.

I find a lot of JET's like to complain about certain aspects of Japan, like their home country is so much better, and the way they do things are wrong or stupid. But because I've barely experienced things other wise I keep a really open mind to almost everything that happens. Granted I DO find gross stupidity, but I can't fathom that NOT happening in America. I mean I'm from a land where a sizable percentage of people don't believe in Evolution, or global warming, they think the war in Iraq is justified due to Saddhams connections to Al Quida and WMD's (neither of which is true), and a place where is no universal health care. wow.

But, I suppose in that respect I can't judge them. I'm going on just assumptions (of how certain things would be like in America), and thats what I often do and I'm trying to change that. Still, I think bitching won't solve things and instead of changing things to meet your whims you just need to realize there are a lot of dumb things every country does and accept your a foreigner in a different land. You can protect your rights and keep your own culture but stepping all over another one simply because they do things the way your not used to?

I came to Japan to grow up and to better myself. Living in Hawaii all my life was really living in a bubble. I was protected by so many harsh things that exist almost everywhere else in the world. Not just weather extremes, but a job, surviving on my own, not having a swath of friends going back 3 connections deep "hooking" everything up. All these things are basically the easy way of getting out and it's simply not looked down upon in Hawaii. It's perfectly fine asking a friend to let you into a club, get you a job, live with your parents till you 30 and other things that just protect our citizens from realities of life.

Keeping that in mind, I posted in March about all the things I've accomplished and back then it seems like big deals, but thinking about it further, thinking on the goals I wanted to achieve when I first got here, I still have so much more to go.

I came here wanting to get fluent in Japanese, really fluent in Japanese. I really don't feel like I have been improving AT ALL, and in some ways I SWEAR I am getting worse. My grammar is just going down the tubes, because I don't feel the need to use perfect grammar to get my thought through. Also my kanji reading is just horrible at this point, I basically am not like how I was in Hawaii. Because Japanese reading material is EVERYWHERE, I don't feel the need to read, I feel like I get enough in the day to day life. But then there is so much I am missing out and/or forgetting. And I know the reason, I need to study. Just living here does not insure you get fluent, my base level was already high functioning and when I get to places where its a bit complicated most people either dumb it down or I just give up.

Also vegetable eating is pretty stagnant, I still really can't choke down much. And since I feel like I've come far enough I just kinda quit.....

And thats the major problem. I always feel like I need to do things, but once I get to a certain point of proficiency I quit. I not only get bored at it, but also mastering something, getting good at something takes a lot of effort and I still have a hard time pushing myself like that. I like being able to do things easily, with no effort, and I hate acknowledging that certain things are hard for me.

I rather just give up at those things than even start. And one year worth of my past, I look back and still see that pattern. Not just one year, but two, three, ten. I really need to push myself to the limit. And studying is one of them, but not just that everything. Push myself to do the things I KNOW I need to do, not get distracted by other things.

As a note though, seeing as Fukuoka is about 4 times larger than the entire island of Oahu and beyond that are about 5 prefectures all 4-5 times bigger than Oahu, while I do get massively lost I do try my best to look for things. And I've gotten ok at reading Maps. I really want to get better at directions, but good lord I still confuse left and right at times......BAH!

But that just about me, Japan and Fukuoka is wonderful. And my school, while I get sick of it and feel I don't make a difference I think I need to keep going on the way I've chosen. I used to want the students to realize English is fun, so I just played games really. And a lot of students did like me, but this year I make lessons based on content that often fail because even though I've been here for a year it's my first time making such lessons. Also because students aren't used to such lessons themselves. And bas relations and communications with my teachers, etc. I want them to speak English, so maybe games are the way. But, teacher's don't bring you to class if you just play games. I got to classes about twice as much as I did in the previous year, and while they tend to fail a lot more just listening to me just about every week is a help.

Also Fukuoka, oh Fukuoka. The fashion and the hair still shock me. Though it takes a lot to do it. Especially when it's one of my first year students and her dress hem is so high, the train master is looking up it, and yet cut so low when shes talking to you, you can see her BRIGHT PINK FLOWER bra every time she moves her head down more than 3 inches. BAH! But, I like living in a suburb of a metropolis. I like living in a polite society, while it can be over polite and I had sending letter of thanks for letter's of thanks, its really nice knowing when you drop your wallet 9/10 times some one will pick it up and give it to you.

And JET's, while some of us just bitch (myself included....another thing I REALLY need to cut down on) A lot of the people I met were wonderful. I never though I could meet so many different people and get along with them. That I think is the biggest difference from Hawaii. Meeting new people with new idea's, who are adventurous, not in the way that may kill me but in the way that makes me feel refreshed.

And that is for my new friends. I don't really have family here in Japan, and for me my friends have really become that support for me. I feel like I can be so harsh, and I still have a major attitude problem (and superiority complex..bah) So I feel like, I just give them the short end of the stick all the time, but I'm so happy they are here for me.

I'm kinda miffed at being block head, but I'm happy I can give them something back. I'm happy I can help some one else, like so many other have helped me. And I'm happy to be here, even though I am on try number three of the impossibly hard driving test of Japan. And even though my sister is here so I can't hang out with my friends as much. Even though I am so lazy, with so much to do, and still have so much more to go on improving myself, I am just so happy to be here.

Quarantined.....LULz

2007-08-01T10:03:00.000+09:00

So, I notice I start almost EVERY post with So...and today shall be no different. Anyway on to the POST!

Summer days have started and my school being the low-mid academic school it is, required all its students to come for about a week half of Houshu. This means optional mandatory lessons. School runs for half days for about two weeks, and seeing as about 80% of the school body is in a club a bunch of students go to club. (Which in Japan includes sports)

Third years aren't allowed to do clubs as they have COLLEGE ENTRANCE exams, which are not like SATs, they are intense crazy things and you have to take one for every school you apply to. So its really intense and they basically have to come to school everyday. I feel sorry for them, also their summer vacation is filled with Sports day planning. Since, the school has about an 80% participation rate in clubs you'd think we'd have a huge culture festival as well, but no. My school does have an 80% participation rate in clubs, but about 85% of that is in sports clubs. I'd say about 9% is band (which is just about the most successful club) and then 6% the rest. So basically so few people are in "culture" clubs, our school just does not have culture festival....sadness. So third years are also hard core training and planning for sports day, since it's the only thing we have.

Where does this lead me, well to boredom. I had some things to do, like making lesson plans, creating this listening test, working on my drivers license, getting a new car, and planning the presentation I'm set to give on the 20th to new ALT's. WELL! That stuff is not that hard to do. I spend about an hour doing each of those things. And my driver's license itself is a practical test which I must go to the center to do it (I've failed once so far, I'm praying it only takes me 3 times >.<)

So, I basically sit in the office DOING NOTHING! It's really bad, I planned to study, to read to do SOMETHING productive, but instead I just sit here doing nothing. Today is the first day that there is no houshu for second or first years, and the school should be alive with students training. But it's not really alive.

Second years were SUPPOSED to go on a training trip (it's basically like camp, but instead of fun it's full of studying) Unfortunately on the second day some students came down with a very high fever. They also found out 3 students who couldn't go due to getting sick were actually infected with the measles. Apparently, since measles has been all but wiped out in Japan, they no longer require students to take the vaccine shots. So, basically a bunch of them are infected little death traps.

They came back from their training/infectious doom trip, cut 2 days short, yesterday. They made the entire school clear out by 3 and hurdled them into the building. All the teacher left to help out, but honestly I've never caught the measles and the last time I got a measles shot was something like 15 years ago. I basically stayed at my desk till enough of them left school to the point where I felt safe.

Now I'm all paranoid, that I'm infected.......ew. This summer has just felt very uncomfortable. I don't get along well with any teacher and as always my conversations with all teachers feel strained and off. It's like I'm not sure what to say or how to react and when I do it naturally they get them same vibe. I am just not meshing well right now. But as today there is no houshu for first years most teachers are not here, and the second years are in quarantine, apparently it's a highy infectious disease something like 90% of those in contact with an infected person will catch it (baring they are not immune. I'm stuck with even less to do.

I should go and play sports with some students, all their sempai's are gone and I'm sure they are just bumming a bit. BUT, I went to the gym after a very long time and massively re-injured my left knee. Popping sounds abound, and its a bit painful to do.....well anything requiring my knee. Ahh, what a silly summer.

I really wish I could concentrate more, but I am just a lazy ass. I blame you internets. With your secret haxor web sites, and anonymous lulz. I did get to see the Simpsons movie and MAN was it AWSOME! It was a fan cam, but still great! I really hope it gets to Japan, I wouldn't mind at paying to see that....but enough of this rant on to MOAR rants....but less schizo.

Notes: AKA skip the rant read this!

Japanese students are really good at carpooling. All the second years came back from their trip and had to be quarantined. So their parents were set to pick them up, keep in mind this was at 3:30-4 in the afternoon so realistically some parents would have a very hard time doing this. So amazingly ton's of kids got rides from friends parents. Car were filled up with 3-4 people, in fact just about every one. And I thought aloud "So this is how car pooling is supposed to work" My old supervisor (who I got on with decently) said "isn't car pooling from America?" And I thought about it, and realized the movement was born in America and thus responded, "Yeah, but no one actually does it" GO AMERICA!

My SUP, wow! So as you know from previous posts, my sister and mom came to visit me. My mom stayed for two weeks and has already left (thanks to her my house is ALMOST clean, and with new and cool much needed stuff I was too cheap to buy), but my sister is here for another two weeks....and she invited one of her friends to stay in my house for a week. Yeah....WTF. Anyhow, this person wanted to play badminton, so my supervisor happens to be one of those teachers who head badminton. I asked him when they practice and if this person could come. He was jazzed and said that the students would be practicing from the morning. I reconfirmed it was at 8:30 because looking at the schedule he had in hand, that I was also looking at, it appeared to me that practice started at 1. He insisted it was at 8:30, so I figured I was just reading this paper wrong. So I show up the next day with said "friend" and lo and behold, their practice IS in the afternoon. Also he is taking vacation time today, so I can't even go ARGH to him. GO FIGURE! Sometimes I wonder if he is just fucking with me, or he is just really this out of it. I somehow lean toward to later, but maybe I just am hoping I'm not that disliked.

Friends: I wish I could go out with my friends when my sister or mom is here, but really they are semi hopeless and I have to cart them around everywhere. My sister was semi complaining about her friend saying, "How inconvenient, and rude it was for him to be coming for an ENTIRE WEEK! Man, should be more shameful about these things" When I said I knew the feeling she of course was highly insulted got angry and said things to the effect of going home etc. Of course shes still here, and of course it's because she's "Family" Family can be inconvenient and they can be irritating, and sometimes I hate to say I wonder why we have all these obligations, bah! Miss hanging out with Yamato, and Shinnae's just come into town but alas I'm stuck.

Car driving: I suck at it! Man I hope I can pass in three go's, cross your fingers and wish me luck!

DOOM: I have scary rashes and really bad skin lately I pray it's the heat...........I REALLY do not want measles.

Another note, I am getting a new car! w00t, it's supposedly all good to go, but I'm a bit sketchy I'll be picking it up this weekend, so need to cancel my insurance get new insurance and all sorts of ugh. Oh well, we'll see how it goes.

AND FINALLY FINALLY!!! I am horribly bored, and unproductive but through some magical bull shit, I am now Blockhead (co-chaired), AJET representative, and presenter at FUKUOKA HS JET orientation. Crazy times...

How is this legal?!?!

2007-07-10T15:14:00.000+09:00

So today is class match...again. Apperantly my school likes to have class match whenever there is a free day where my school feels like we don't need to study lets just force the student to play sports. It's tsuyu (or rainy season) so the chances of it raining were really high but we decided to go through with it anyhow.

I have never seen hand ball in my life and the girls of the first year were going to play it. I've seen the kids play soccer and volley ball before so I was content without watching it. Also the 2nen boys were going to play basketball but since that was in the gym apart from all the other sports I didn't really watch it.

I did start off watching with the hand ball girls and forced them to talk to me a bit. I was happy two girls from class six kept on trying to talk to me because normally I have the worst lessons in that class. I mean painfully horribly bad lessons. Yet, the girl was really jazzed to talk so I did. Later on class 2 girls insists I cheer for them so I thought, eh they asked why not. So I go on and cheer for them, bad idea because later on they play against class 7 a class I really like, basically my best class. Oh well.

I also try to check out softball, but my lord inept softball is the worst thing to watch in the world. Its SUPER slow, nothing ever happens, the girls suck at pitching and hitting so it lands up with like 3 balls, 5 fouls and 2 strikes, and then 5 minutes later the girl gets a hit it comically goes through the pitchers legs and all sorts of madness ensues. While periodically really funny it was INSANELY boring.

So I go back to watching the girl's hand ball. 2kumi girls lose, and I decide to cheer for class 8. Its a very random decisions but I decide to cheer because it looks like they are going to lose and I like cheering for the underdog. So during a game with class 7, which is a strong class girls start getting hurt like insane. I mean hand ball is not that tennis like sport where you use your hand to hit a squishy ball against a wall, its this intense FULL CONTACT rugby like game. The rules are silly, you have to bounce the ball like basketball, but you throw the ball into a net guarded by a goalie like soccer. Though the net is very simular to soccer, you must jump when you throw it...its kinda strange. But tackles (not legal) often occure and the girls got full on contact.

So soon a super genki fun girl I enjoy talking to get hurt. Though shes the manager for the track and field team she is RAPING at this game. She basically the top score getter in her team, and she appears to pull her calf. Its obviously painful but she get injured right at the break, it looks bad but before I know it shes back out. And everytime she scores she looks to be in INTENSE pain. Amazingly through all this she is still smiling.

In the end their team wins, but they have to play another TWO GAMES! The next one, their other top scorer injures her arm after a girl runs in to her during a score chance. She drops into the floor ouch! Another girl cuts open her lip, but decided to keep on playing since another girl has split open her under eye area. Whats worse is ANOTHER girl pulls her calf. This girl tries to fight but isnt as strong as genki girl.

Genki girl is still playing and in the final game I decide holy shit no one is attempting to help her. The teachers think well even though shes on the ground rolling in pain the fact she keeps on going back into the game means shes ok. So I go and get ice, and when I give it to her in the break she says shes fine. WHAT! Her teams mates are so worried they are like forcing the ice onto her leg. Its crazy! Their team is leading and in the final minute of the game on a point chance she once again lands hard on her foot. Her friend basically drags her out of the game. The game ends and they win! And this girl is in tears at first I think its because shes SOOO HAPPY they have won, but no later on I find shes BAWLING because she couldn't last to the very end.

I mean she played for basically an hour on a pulled calf, and yet she stood there in the middle of the field crying, bawling, a lot of the girls on the winning team walked off without smiles but grimaces of pain. The male class mates are cheering and whooping around, but most of the girls were asking for water, ice, and mirrors to assess their injuries. Did I mention it had started down pouring in the last game and everyone was soaked, most teacher ran into the shelter but seeing the kids playing their hearts out I stood out in the rain. In the end the genki girl was standing with her friend BAWLING in the middle of the feild, in the pouring raint, it was like a scene from a bad movie.

Feeling a bit bitter, I tried to cheer genki girl up and through her tears she managed a smile. But wow, how is this legal! 2 split lips, 2 pulled calves, a cut under the eye, and an injured shoulder they had won. And as they limped off the field in the POURING RAIN I once again wondered, HOW THE HELL IS THIS LEGAL?!?!?!

On the softball ground the winning teams were facing off when a sudden FREAK DOWN pour started, they all headed into the one shelter in the middle of the field, but they were essentially stuck. The rain was not only fierce eventually half the girls had to pull up the supports and move it to accommodate the teachers and remaining girls. It was insane, again wow this is legal?!! Why do we keep on doing this?! Its funny the girls who were winning for the softball in the end landed up stuck in the pouring rain, while the "losers" were nice and dry in their classes eating.

I can't believe they do this, and tomorrow I will ask the girls of class 8 if it is really worth it. Somehow I can't believe it. I may post pics......maybe, maybe... as a note I actually have very few, most were videos and its kinda bimyou, but hopefully you can get the feel.

Non- Rant w00t!

2007-07-05T15:56:00.000+09:00

So the past 4 or so posts have essentially been rants (some more cleverly disguised than others.. o.0) So today I decided the post on some non-rant things. Of course things other than school life goes on in Japan. And what kind of expat living in Japan would I be if I did not post on the DEATH WEATHER!!!!!!!

So a lot of Japanese people consider Hawaii's weather to be "All-year round summer". Knowing this I have no idea why they come to my State. Japan's summers are the worst things I've experienced....in my life! I mean its so hot and sticky you can see it in the air. It's like San Francisco fog, but instead of cold and wet (and note, the hotter it gets the more moisture can be held in the air) its hot and disgusting!

My friend from England taught me a word, minging, it means disgusting. It's a bit hard to explain but every time its death hot/humid (and they always come in pairs) he uses this word. And doesn't it just sound icky? So with that I've felt like a giant disgusting monster, sweating up a storm.

For this reason aloung with the fact I swear the Japanese themselves do not sweat (I figure from years of natural selection, where only the least disgusting non-sweaters can get mates in the summer time) I have had to buy arm-pit pads. Thats right, its much akin to those things you stick in your undies when your on the rag, except! their for your arm pits!

More proof that the Japanese themselves don't sweat is these arm-pit pads are not easy to find. I saw them by chance last year but since I came to Japan in August (the tail end of DEATH HOT) I didn't think I needed it. Also before I stopped to plugging up my arm pits with pads, I actually did try Japanese antiperspirant. It did not work out so well, as in it didn't work at all. A bad thing since I thought oh I'm using the antiperspirant, I'll wear my gray shirt today! Man, one of the worst idea's ever.

Also, I do not think I am a sweaty beast, in Hawaii I NEVER used antiperspirant, or deodorant. And I didn't sweat much at all. Then again I do have a unique physiology, I don't sweat at all until I hit a certain critical mass and then its like the flood gates open and I'm a sweaty mess.

Well, anyhow that my current aside, so now armed with my armpit pads I can now dare to wear such sexy numbers as uniqlo light blue shirt number 2. (As a note my fashion sense has failed to improve in Japan..)

Another random aside before I go, yesterday was the Fourth of July, and while I do not fancy myself as patriot I went to a mini party to celebrate, and all I can say is damn is Yoshii Machi far, and holy crap I should not do that when I KNOW I have to make two lesson plans and have 3 classes back to back in the morning. That aside, I have to say it went pretty well considering but I now have a headache.

Oh, and one last thing, my parents are coming holy crap! My apartment is a mess, I still need to get stuff for them. So all I can really think about now is getting my party on, because once they hit, I will be doing anything but partying. (most likely crying in the corner)

RANT!!!

2007-06-29T09:26:00.000+09:00

So I've been pretty M.I.A. for awhile, and there is a reason, I've had no internet at school. And it sounds horrible but in my downtime I seriously bum around on the internet....a lot. Not to say that I have nothing to do, I am in charge with checking all 360 students English folders and access their participation, its basically either a yes or no thing, but man is that hard to access. Also I have had all these surprise lessons, and such so all the more lesson plans to make. But even with that, my days have been rather dull. I often zoom through whatever they give me and then proceed to bum around reading things. I've read almost every Time and Newsweek magazine I have front to back. Even the letters to the magazine, but that usually because I have to wait till after school to help students on various things. So I often just wait to do or get work, which I know is coming and thus somehow feel obliged to wait till 5:15 (an hour overtime that I volunteer)

This isn't to say that I do not have things I want to rant on, which is why I'm blogging. So I finally fix my internet, about 2 weeks after it blinked off. I had told my supervisor about it maybe a day of two after it happened. About a week later nothing had been done, so finally I decided to ask the computer guy myself. To which I find hes a bit of a goober, he basically did everything I initially did (check the cables, check my isp, check my hardware, etc) and then he goes well I'm stumped. As a note I did this all in Japanese, with some confusion but then over all muddled through it. Eventually I managed to fix it myself, it was the LAN cable in the end, even though our tech guy "checked" it and assured me it was fine... (uh-huh)

The other thing that really has been miffing me is the ineptitude of my Sup. Most ALT's usually have to run everything through their supervisor first and that person is their direct superior. They are also the person who is supposed to take care of us, as some of us have minimal Japanese ability and understanding of the culture. Mine has taken a decidedly hands off approach. I knew I was in trouble when mine was assigned to me earlier in the year, as he was the only JTE who would actively ignore me (as when I said OHAYO GOZAIMASU in the morning he'd just look away and kinda run)

So in the beginning things like meetings, sudden changes in schedules would be a "SUPRISE Kristen" type thing as my Sup would fail to inform me of its happenings. It was really bad when he neglected to tell me that I would have to come to school on a Saturday and teach classes, thankfully this was a month into his tenor, so I had come to realize I really need to struggle and try to read as much as I can on my ALL JAPANESES schedule, and I myself came to realize that I had to come in on Saturday.

I eventually came and told him please tell me what is going on, I'm not Japanese I can't read 80% of everything that is written down on my schedule, or on the board. As the first time I asked him about what was happening he assured me that everything is written on the board and to just read it. (Another slight problem MANY teachers think I'm a second Generation Japanese person thus FLUENT in the language, damn it I have six years of Japanese 4 of which were High school, seriously I should be as bad as my students are at English)

So it got a little better, occasionally he'd tell me that something was going on, though periodically I'd be in the teachers room only to look up from whatever I was doing and realize...no one is there.

Another irritant was the fact that he seemed to have no clue what he was doing. Like when I had to go to a meeting, I have to fill out of form informing the school that I would be gone for a certain amount of time. Though I knew how to do this, and had been doing it myself for almost a year he insisted he help me. When I initially gave him what I wrote he INSISTED I type it up on the computer. Then he had an insane time attempting to resize said document on the computer, half an hour later I was still sitting there staring at him fiddling with this document. By now it had been over half an hour since the end of work, so I finally said don't worry I'll do it! Bad idea, since I actually can't read everything that's on the form. So then I spend half an hour trying to figure out how to type in all these words. In the end I finally print it out and he said its good, but when I give it to the Vice-Principle he said "Oh, you don't need this, it's too early for this" So all that work was for nothing, and I leave work something like an hour half late. After this I just stopped giving him that paper and just gave it directly to the vice principal.

So minor things that I eventually go around or over, but in the last week some HUGE things have happened. So at the beginning of Summer when my classes have ended, there was going to be a seminar for JTE's. There was a certain number of JET's needed for this seminar, but it was completely volunteer. I was jazzed at the idea of getting out and talking to other JTE's and learning more about how school's work, as I'm still clueless on a lot of things and simply wanted to learn more. So, I immediately filled out the form and then asked my supervisor if it would be OK to go, we checked my schedule and he thought about it and thought that there should be no problem. So I told him to please fax the paper.

A week later I get an e-mail, informing me that the seminar filled up unexpectedly early as the response from the JET's this year was overwhelming, those who had already sent the paper was fine and were in. I was slightly worried at this point as I had gotten no confirmation mail. I was then really worried when I noticed that my Sup was only NOW sending my application for Japanese courses, when I gave him the form over 3 weeks ago.

So I was initially going to ask the person who was collecting our applications, but since I had no internet I decided to just ask my Sup. Then the bomb dropped, he at first thought I was talking about my Japanese courses, to which I had to slowly explain it was something else, something I gave him only a week previous. I asked if he had even the vaguest recollection of this conversation (of course in MUCH simpler terms), and he said he had no idea. So I slowly explained what the paper looked like, and what it was about.

He really looked clueless at this point, so I gave him the other papers and he slowly, slowly looked through them. So he then starts shuffling through his files and insists after a thorough search that he doesn't have it. I KNOW I gave it to him, so I start trying to jog his memory as I remember what happened when I gave him the paper. He then kinda remembers our talk about possible scheduling conflicts, to which he looks underneath his schedule on the top of his desk, lo and behold it was there.

He had not sent it, he had not even read through it. So even though the number was there and the fax number and even the dead line he was content to let it be forgotten under a piece of paper. I then tell him to forget about it because the deadline had passed. But on the paper it says the deadline is the 29th. So I tell him I got an email saying it had closed early, its full. But he keeps on insisting the deadline is the 29th. So 10 minutes later I tell him to please just forget it, it's really too late. An hour of pure fail and pain.

So I'm really miffed at this. I actually wanted to go to this, quite a bit in fact. So even though we are theoretically supposed to send a lot of these forms through our supervisor, I seriously do not want to. This is just another reason to get better at Japanese, especially work place Japanese and work place Kanji. It's irritating because a lot of those words are rather esoteric, thing I won't really need outside of this setting of teaching English, and things that are not easily used or comprehended. And not only that, the job of a Sup is to help me get through all this stuff, instead hes the exact opposite he actually hinders me! And I'm not even sure if I can even send a lot of these papers myself as it actually says on many of them "Give this to your supervisor"

Also combined with the fact that teachers have been asking me to do even more bull shit things is starting to bug me. Instead of just teaching classes, more and more I'm asked to grade things and make tests and give tests, and I'm wondering if it's just because teachers themselves don't want to do it. I'm starting to think they are treating me like the part time teachers. In a way I should work hard, I do get paid for it, and it's good practice for the real world and all that stuff. But, when I look at other JET's, and I look at my contract I wonder.

I KNOW the Japanese teachers work harder than me, and the reason they dump this stuff on me is because they are busy. But lately I certainly leave later than quite a few other English teachers, and I am not a teacher. I do not get paid as well as them, I do not get as many vacation days as them, AND I'm not Japanese! This is against my culture to work this much over time and not get paid, and to do things that are not written in my contract, yet are requested of me. ALSO, fine its good practice for my Japanese I realize this, I SHOULD be trying harder at my Japanese but damn it JUST USE ENGLISH! I don't always understand what the teachers tell me, and yet they almost always break down and use Japanese with me.

I sometimes really believe a lot of ALT's are just bitches. If it was the real world we would not complain about the things we do, or perhaps we would but really would we complain about these things in the "real world". I wonder if I am just bitching about something that I'm just going to have to deal with the rest of my life and that just because I've never worked a real full time job I just don't realize that this is how it's like.

Perhaps that is true, but really is this what I signed up for? I hate to say it, but I wanted a job that I could have fun at, I wanted a good experience of Japan, all I seem to be experiencing now is how shitty it is to be a teacher in Japan. Also I think a lot of this work would be easier if I was fluent in not only Japanese language but in Japanese culture. (I think I've offended some teachers, but I'm unsure if I did, or even how I did...)

Last year I actually felt bad for people like Yamato who had WAY more work than me. Granted I definitely did not have the lightest load of all JET's, far from it I actually taught quite a few more classes than most other high school JET's. So I actually asked teacher's to give me more work, and it's nice to know they trust me and I'd feel like a heel if I suddenly went, "Oh sorry work really does suck, I don't want to do it." But damn it, I really just am hating this. Even with all this complaining and extra "work", here I am sitting down and blogging. Can I really bitch....man I'm unsure what this rant was all about and I'm just as conflicted as before. If you reader have somehow managed to read through this gobbly gook, then please tell me what you think. I am really at a lost.

Wow

2007-06-14T10:35:00.000+09:00

So its been awhile. A lot has happened in this month that I have been inactive. I went to Kobe on a re-contracting trip, basically I am paid to dick around and listen to really boring pretty useless lectures. (But there were a few gems that I felt were totally worth it) I've had some of the worst classes I have ever had as a teacher. Including a 2 hour death lesson where the teacher surprised me by completely leaving the class up to me for the two hours and sat down with the students taking notes. I had an hour lesson plan assuming she would teach them for an hour, but NO! Just two hours of me dying the kids hating the lesson and etc.

Also me and my first years have not been meshing. I've been trying to be more serious and actually teach them "complicated" things. To which other ALT's insist are things they should have learned in middle school, but of course my students just land up staring at me with blank faces, while I strugle vainly with hand motions. The kids completely don't understand and I get frustrated. And eventually break down and tell the teacher to translate. (Something I LOATHED to do, but recently found that was not only the only way to get them to participate but also because I was too tired to make the effort) But today things came to ahead.

I've been feeling akward in class lately and today I realized why. The kids are unnervingly quiet in class and thats strange for me. They are either dead quiet when I'm talking which makes me FIGHT to bring the energy up, which merely confuses them. And when they get loud I get angry because they are normally getting loud about unrelated to class things (because they don't understand the lesson at all). Or the entire class is dead silent for the entire hour and by the end of the day I feel completely wiped out trying my best to keep them amused enough to stay awake. But actually I've been telling them from the beginning to be quiet and just listen, so it was like some sort paradigm.

So, today my first class was REALLY loud and active. But I didn't mind at all. They were participating and talking and some kids were not understanding, and to be honest I made a few mistakes but the class had a rhythm and I enjoyed it, the kids seemed to as well. I actually do not mind when the kids are kinda loud and every so often I have to tell them " BE QUIET" But at least they were talking about the lesson and smiling.

I was trying to be more strict with my students ala Matt, then I tried to make more lessons more structured like Yamato's. (Take a subject and teach it to the class while they sit there periodically coming to the board, which may not be her teaching stye just what she did that instance I went) I was going out away from the style I had built up last year because I did not feel it was best for my students.

But you can only fight yourself for so long. Today I enjoyed the lessons (well more like compared to the other HORROR ones I've been having lately) and I should have another good class (knock on wood) its a class similar to the previous one. While this will not mean that my classes will go from now on, I won't try to force someone else's idea of what a good lesson is on to myself. While maybe its not the best formula to teaching these kids, trying to reach some impossible idea is just wearing me out. And its making me frazzled all the time, I've been very emotional and I am a person who DOES NOT LIKE BEING EMOTIONAL. So, I'm going to go with this slightly chaotic class format, with us jumping to various activities and some kids getting a little confused. But its alot better than Kristen getting angry, the students being really confused and scared, and maybe the JTE's will be struggling to keep up, at least they won't have a Kristen DREADING classes and fearing school.

On another not my parents are coming soon, I am somewhat fearful.... Also while I have come upon this revelation I am still unsure what to teach the students...hopefully thing will fall into place soon enough. I think I may teach them about travel, it should tie in nicely with my next semesters project (knock on wood AGAIN) With this I think I do have the energy to continue with English club. I feel suddenly energized, even more so than when I came back from Kobe. (Where I was energized but still unsure of myself) I can do this......I CAN!

Also I have finally finished oral testing! I have lunches and after schools back! YAY~! (I've been not eating lunch and staying to school to 5:30-6:30 every day, basically at least an hour over time to over 2 hours overtime everyday.)

I also may write more, as days I felt like writing just depressed me too much, I felt insecure and just primed for a BITCH-fest if I had to write. So now hopefully things will go well, but of course there is never a guarantee, so expect bitching! Such is the lot of an ALT.

IM CRAZY

2007-05-24T13:02:00.000+09:00

After telling almost every teacher for a year, I'll GO TO ANY CLASS! I'm SO BORED! GIVE ME THINGS TO DO! Teachers have started complying. With various business trips and mid-terms in between, I've been extra busy. As some supervising people have been real shitty with keeping tabs on my schedule and as a result I've had to Jam an entire weeks worth of lessons in to 3 days. I taught "only" three classes today, and will teach 5 tomorrow, and I taught 4 the day before. Fun!

Also I have for some reason agreed to forgo my lunch times and to stay late possibly past 6 (2 hours after I my work day ends) to proctor listening exams. Wait did I say proctor? I mean give them, evaluate them and basically do all the work. And since I am not actually their teacher, nor will it fit in my schedule to actually go to their class, I have to jam 40 students in between my lunch and after school for about two weeks...Lately I've been feeling like a real teacher.

The problem with me becoming more like a real teacher is I haven't really been an ALT to the kids. My lessons have been down right boring (difficult and educational), and instead of me randomly bugging students and being jolly with them, I've been getting irritated at their sloppy work and loudness. I've been less tolerant of them going crazy, and getting down on students with bad attitudes.

Before I felt the most important thing was to be nice to even bad students and win them over with kindness. But, this year I am trying to really teach them things, really get them to improve and really I just can't let them run wild and distract the other students, which happened a lot last year.

In some ways I think it can work, but in other ways its making me re-evaluate what it means to be an ALT. A lot of times I swear we are just dancing monkeys for them, and while I'm certainly not a human tape recorder, I am becoming just another Japanese teacher. Its really kinda sad and daunting, but I can't just let them run wild and let them have fun like before. Especially for the third years, who I am teaching with A LOT! I feel bad that some of them who would smile and be happy to see me have just been giving me perfunctory greetings.

But, I am hoping something ANYTHING I teach them will help them. But really I am unsure it is, because even though teachers tell me my students level is not bad (and recently I am even beginning to believe them) its just too difficult to learn grammar points and complex English rules with NO Japanese equivalent or translation. I sometimes feel I am talking into walls, or just boring the students into TEARS... I don't think I am filling them with more love of English, but reinforcing the fact that English is hard and boring. BAH!

Though I have been working like a teacher, and doing all the things regular teachers do, in the end I am not a teacher. These are the first third lessons I have had to give, and they are the first grammar lessons I have had to give, the first oral tests, the first essay tests, and I am DAMN unsure of myself.

Also since I am really busy grading things and doing things for the third years I have not been to a single second year class! I really miss those second year kids, when they see my in the halls ways they are really surprised and seem happy. (Not all of them keep in mind, but quite a few I got along with well) But I am usually walking to another class, or walking toward the teachers room to prepare for another class. So I don't talk to them even thought I wish I could. And while they are second years I feel that it's still OK to go to their class and let them have SOME fun. (Since hey their classes are boring and I swear ANYTHING I teach them would be better than what some of the other second year teachers teach...)

I thought getting more work and being more serious would increase my job satisfaction and bring down boredom. However, now days even when I have things to do I feel bored the second I have down time, BUT when I have my days jam packed I am frazzled and easily irritated. I just can't seem to win! Sadness...

On a very happy note, I met one girl in the first year who is PAINFULLY SHY! She would not even sit down near other students without me specifically guiding her. And when I started my introduction game she sat down by herself not doing anything. So I went to her to talk and suddenly other students started talking to her to ask her questions (you need to ask as many people as you can to win) and they seemed to know how shy she was and initially avoided her. However, she was soon laughing and talking with alot of students. At the end of class she still walked out by herself, but when I talked to her and asked her some questions she actually answered me. And I was happy, she seemed to have a good time.

Sadly, her class is annoying, and they have some boy students with really bad attitudes who talk shit about me as I walk by, and refuse to listen and stop talking when I am explaining the lesson. There are some girls who are really into the game but then they also won't shut up. Basically it's a loud and somewhat unruly class and they get me the most frazzled and irritated. Especially the shit talking boys, it's to the point where I can't wait to leave just so I can turn to them and mouth off in Japanese, I UNDERSTAND EVERYTHING YOU SAID YOU LITTLE SHIT HEADS!

Ugh, what happened to the days when I could just laugh it off!!! I used to just go oh, silly children! BAH!

But I speak English!

2007-05-21T14:34:00.000+09:00

Mid-terms have come, and I am starting to grade papers. I have an intensive oral communications class and hilariously the section I must grade is an essay. Sadly, I often find myself doubting the validity of my corrections. I am admittedly atrocious at grammar.

In High School I was recommended for Honors and AP English, 3 times. Each time I bombed out due to the fact I was HIDEOUS at grammar. My essays which I thought were rather well written, often were docked SERIOUS points due to my grammar. Run-ons sentences, fragments, improper usage, my essays had them all.

The fact that I was even going to Japan to teach English was a bit of a joke to my friends. So today, the teachers were joking with each other at how many students were writing down, "She speaks a little English". They even joked to me about it. And I had to second guess myself for a long while, thinking "I say that ALL the time" But in all seriousness, Hawaii is not known for it's proper English. And I know our colloquial English breaks down almost all grammar rules.

But, with a bit of temerity I challenged them, saying" I think that's right" They gave me a confounded look to which I said more sternly, "I'm almost certain thats correct." In the end I had enough doubt to call up Matt to reconfirm my assertion. Thankfully I was right, they even looked it up in the dictionary and found a sentence almost identical.

Though grammar is my weak point, and I am from a place where spoken English is no where close to proper, I think I need to trust my ability to speak English. That is after all what I am here for. Also I think this is the clearest sign that I need to speak English properly. I often am offended when friends correct my English, I think "Stop being such a Nazi"! But, as an English teacher we should be careful, least we really do teach them something horrible. I'd feel mighty awful if they failed their tests simply because my spoken English is such rubbish. So I am thinking of asking my parents to send me up a grammar book for English speakers.... I wonder how all you other JETs are doing.

Please respond, and from you Hawaii people, what do you think about your English?

China...re-take

2007-05-08T00:37:00.000+09:00

So unlike an intelligent person going to sleep early, I am still up at 12:30 reading others blogs. I realized Yamato, Matt, et all have returned from Laos and decided to read up on their blogs. Yamato gave a rather terse entry, but Matt wrote up quite a bit. Their trip seemed heavenly, and it got me thinking about China. And I suppose I decided to think back on the good of China. (It really wasn't ALL bad)

One thing that Matt seemed to talk a lot about was the reverence and general kindness of people. I found that kindness and reverence was lacking in China. From the people flat out ignoring pleas of help when we were lost, to the carelessness of people throwing piles of garbage on the great wall. But, there where times were I was amazed at the Chinese people.

Going to the Lama temple I was amazed to see what kind of people where praying with fervor. Many had bought insane amounts of incense to burn at every statue, every shrine etc. They prayed to all four corners and they bowed their heads low in their prayers, making sure to touch their foreheads to the ground. I was rather amazed as many of those who were the most sincere seeming in their prayers were young. Perhaps in their twenties, possibly my own age. I was not sure, but it made me glad to see that the youth was not completely disaffected.

Sadly, the Lama temple itself was steeped in commercialism. The people who came had loads of incense which they bought at inflated prices in the temple. At every step were plaques commemorating this or that, and while there were monks they seemed more prudent to show around big wigs or prevent the crush of foreign and local tourists from taking pictures. Prayers were not said aloud by waiting monks but was instead pre-recorded and blasted from a near by speaker.

Other temples were more of the same. The white-jade Buddha temple was a rather big joke. You had to pay once to get into the actual temple, which was more like an overblown gift shop. Then had to pay again to see the jade Buddha. There instead of a monk praying, was a woman there ready to sell you anointed oils which you could offer up to the statue. It made me feel like I was watching some sort of selling of absolutions.

On the other hand, another rather touching sight was on the great wall. While standing in line amidst garbage and shoving attendants who literally shoved you into the trolley up the wall and literally ripped you out (Sheenae can attest and she was actually flung into a wall!) I saw an extremely elderly couple. They were skinny, aged, and toothless, their faces and especially their teeth bore signs of the hardship of their life. But they could not have been more happy to have been on the wall. They were both full of toothless grins looking around them, almost giddy that they were actually about to ascend the wall. I had no idea what they were saying, but they spoke excitedly to their son. Their son was obviously a success, one of the new rich of China. Unlike his parents who were tanned, and slight he was rather portly and white, he sported a gold watch and a digital camera. He seemed rather proud that he could not only afford to bring his family and parents to the wall but also that he could afford to take them up in style via the trolley.

Mao said that one could only become a true hero after he had climbed the wall, and I'm sure that couples son felt like a hero. Granted the wall itself was a let down, with the crush of people, the obvious disregard for sanitation (walking into on of the fortifications you were instantly smothered by the smell of pee, since toilets were far and few between most seemingly took it upon themselves to pee in the most convenient dark place.) but seeing that couple made me smile.

People often complain that the Japanese are so polite one can never get a feel of their true intention. While this may be true, I felt like the Chinese were so openly rude and seemingly full of contempt for us foreigners that I could not get a feel for ...well anything. I stopped seeing them as simply a different culture, but could only see how rude they were. I really tried my best to see them in a good light, as it's horrible to judge an entire people based on a single experience, but it seemed at each junction of my trip that the people let me down.

Matt's journey seemed to reaffirm his trust in humanity and the innate goodness of people, sadly China has seemingly done the opposite for me. I have never felt that an entire people could be so collectively mean. Even in restaurants and in the hotels the workers seemed to treat you more of a nuisance than a valued costumer. The concierge was especially telling when he brushed us off when we asked him questions, he gave a rather brusque and quite terse answer to our question before sending us off... I then dropped him a rather generous tip in yen. He promptly chased us down, gave us a map and listing of nice restaurants and called a taxi for us. It seemed the only time people were nice was when money was being flashed. In the market people called us friends, till you bartered them down low enough then they would often throw things down in frustration and throw you the product before greedily snatching away your money. Even beggars on the street would come up to you begging "give me money" and would get rather testy with you when you simply ignored them.

But I suppose it's easy for me to judge them from my position of well off child born in a first world country. The people in the markets were obviously intelligent, walking the aisles of rip off goods I heard French, English, Russian, even Spanish spoken by the various sellers. These men and women seemed to be the cream of the crop and yet were reduced to open barter of knock off goods. The Chinese are trying to merely catch up to us, the traffic, the cars, the money the power, they want it all. Maybe they are ready to sacrifice the niceties to get there?

I'm honestly not sure where I am going with this, but I want to believe the Chinese are not that bad... but seeing poster in Beijing warning its citizens not spit in the street, the let children poop in front of others, not to beat your wife in public or leave your children unattended, I just have a hard time giving them slack. I have a hard time looking past the extremely brusque seemingly exploitive people I met and seeing the good in them.

This trip was great in showing me how good it is to be in Japan, but also horrible in showing me how people can be... and worse yet I feel guilty thinking the inevitable "how uncivilized, how backwards" that I now feel about China. This trip did make me reflect a lot, not just about myself but about people and where this world is going today, and it makes me sad...

CHINA.......and doom

2007-05-07T13:34:00.000+09:00

So I am back from China......and let me just say, WHAT A TRIP!

And this is not really in a positive sense. First off, I have never loved Japan more than when I was in China. Touching down from the airplane I was SHOCKED at how bad the pollution was. I had heard it was bad enough that many Chinese people wore face masks. Shockingly no one was, and I could not find any. But it was so bad I found myself hacking away just about everyday, and it reduced visibility to like maybe 200 meters at some points.

Also the smells, OMG the smells! In China its perfectly normal for children to have no bottoms in their pants. When they need to go they simply squat down and poop or pee...where ever they may be. Also, trash pick up seems spotty at best but to clean up for the Olympic games it seems that Beijing is trying to step up trash pick up at the main tourist sites. And so there are these cleaning ladies picking up trash everywhere, thus the Chinese people seem to dump trash where ever. Even on the great wall, people just carelessly threw their garbage in deep ravines, and the trash pick up ladies seemingly had to risk their lives to retrieve it. So it seems no matter where I went there were hideous smells...at every turn.

Also, like Japan's golden week, China also has a week long vacation that happens to coincide with Japans. Thus everywhere was PACKED with Chinese people. And man can they be rude. I have never been shoved so much in my life. I thought Korea was bad about the lack of standing in lines and the pushing, but in China multiply that by 10!

Also, I hear you need to barter to get around, but in China expect prices to be inflated 1000%. I am not joking you will get prices that are RIDICULOUS! I mean the first price they throw out will be more expensive than even America or Japan. And sometimes they will not budge. Its like they hear English and that the magic sign to throw out insane numbers. Also I had very little in the concept of money, the small denominations to me seemed like dollars so I'd fight to get 1 yuan off (which is apparently 1/7 of a dollar) But when it was in the 100's of yuan (Something like 16 dollars) I'd think yeah thats like what....2 dollars due to my adjustment of yen. So yeah, I got ripped off on EVERYTHING, at least thats how I feel.

So overall, I was happy to go to experience it. I didn't really have a strong compulsion to go, but I felt it was something I had to do. I got to walk the great wall, see the forbidden city, walk Tianamin Square. Very little of it had an impact on me. The great wall was nice, but I didn't even climb up it, since I went with the tour and most people in said tour preferred to take the buggy up. Also when I got up it was so polluted I could not down the valley. Also it was so crowded moving forward was slow going. But, it was still nice to see, one day I perhaps will go again, and this time with MUCH MORE CHINESE.

I did not learn a single word of Chinese, which I deeply regret. It was just ridiculous of me expecting to go with just English, and honestly I feel it was almost my own fault for making myself a mark.

Oh, yeah China can also be really scary. While trying to hitch a cab ride, some 8 random guys came up to me and my two friends. Ganged up on us, and then chased us down! They were trying to charge us a RIDICULOUS price for a cab ride, and instead of it being metered they were just content with trying to shove us in a cab. FREAKY!

Well, lets just say I am happy to be in Japan. I think for the next few weekends I will try to use my awesome car and travel around Japan more. I keep on saying this and I know it doesn't always happen, but I feel Japan has a lot to offer. I thought at times a lot of it was really touristy but in this world of global tourism I do not care where you go, there will be someone willing to exploit your dearth of knowledge of said locality. And things that may have been pristine paradises, will probably have become a hot bed of tourist exploitation... sounds miserable I know. But let's just say China has scared me for life! Hopefully the next place I go will be better... I don't want to be hating on China, but man...all I can say is China....WOW!

On another less sad note, I properly started my new first year lessons. Some classes are really genki and jazzed for English. So I am happy, my first lesson went really well. I was going to play the call response game and I didn't even need to! They totally answered all my questions, and after the class the new teacher I never taught with was really amazed that I did all the planing, print outs, and presentation. She also felt it went really well, YAY!

Something that makes me happy seeing as last year...my first lesson did not go so well. Power points, constantly changing things up etc, really helps. Sadly since I had a semi first lesson with one class, their technically second lesson but in order to keep the uniformity of other classes their first lesson was a kinda fail. Hopefully the scheduling will get better...which I doubt since I went through 2 random lesson changes with in the morning, without being warned and with it not being written up on the class schedule board. (Something that is in Japanese but which they have already told me to look at instead of the schedule they give me) w00t! Go my school!

They have even warned me that on Friday, I may have 3 classes back to back to back...or have Saturday school with the students. Oh joy. But at least it was a warning unlike today, which was Kristen the lesson schedule has changed! Then I go to the class and instead of it being what I was told in the morning it was completely something else. I love when its classes back to back to back...giving me basically zero time to improve them....

Well enough bitching! tomorrow is English Club, and another Oral Comm class (I am so unsure how it will go, since I still have not talked with that teacher I had a row with.....yikes!) So that means more planing and work so I'm signing off!

And yes sorry for the bitchfest, but wow. It in reality was not that bad... today that is, China on the other hand ....

YAY

2007-04-26T15:24:00.000+09:00

So, today one of my JTE's came up to me and starting talking about lesson plans. I told her what I wanted to do for the first lessons and then I kinda threw out I wanted to do a project. She told me I should just do it, and I told her I was worried since no of what I do is graded no one will be serious about it.

So then she drops the bomb shes thinking of giving me some weight in grading. How much I am unsure, and thus she promptly explained to me the overly complex grading system of my school. Something like there are week test and then Mid-term tests and then final tests each with a portion put on it. So it would be apparently more complex to just stick on 10% of my lessons at the end, and it be easier to stick me something like 20% each mid-term and final. So somehow though I am unsure I am gonna get a portion of the first years grades! w00t!!!

Bad thing is I will have to tons more work. From not just making up random test questions for their test and grading that, but making oral sections and detailing a point system for the project (which I will stick onto their final test in the second semester) And then their participation which I will stick on the the final part of their grades as well. (It's basically going to be super complicated even for my grading since I am going to use their participation points on their grade as well...)

We also do all the requests for a need even some wheeling and dealing in the office! I totally am glad I kiss ass to those people with candies and yay, cuz the jimucho (office head) totally agreed! Yay! I really feel like I am doing stuff now, and I know it's going to be alot of work since I still have to teach third year oral and well as second year classes. I don't think I can be human tape recorder anymore for the regular third year classes, but I don't mind.

I feel sorry for the JET after me because grading, projects, teaching all three years, and English club (Which will hopefully at least be a doukoukai by the time I leave) is what I've filled my plate up with! I really feel now like I am making a difference. And in the Summer time I hope to start up English Lesson's for the other teachers!

My other idea is currently English club is just one day, but once June or July rolls by and third years stop going to clubs I am going to start up a intensive English club course for those who wish to take English entrance exams or TOEIC. There are 3 girls I know for sure who will need one of the other and perhaps one more who will come just for the intensive English practice.

ALSO! Apparently first years have been asking where am I and why I don't come to their classes. They all remember me from the mountain climb, I can't believe I made such an impression. So I feel overall good, this is a real invigoration after this recent slump!!! YAY!! Still can't wait for my trip! Which is going to be in 2 days! China here I come! Hopefully I won't die....I almost wish I bought the Chinese functioning dictionary...

On a sad note I still have not really talked to that one teacher I had a row with a few days ago,. I am unsure on how to approach the situation and I have already apologized for her taking offense by my lesson. But I am unsure on how it will go.... To be honest I will deal with it later I don't really want the negativity to bring me down, and I realize some people just don't mesh well. It's a shame that happened and she does seem really into English and into her students futures, she has to realize I am as well and just because our methods clash should not bring out hostilities... Oh well. We'll see...hopefully it will all just work out for the best.

I also hope I won't burn out, but hearing the students and other first year teacher's (ok, one first year teachers..) excitement makes me feel ready for the challenge!

A difference in Culture

2007-04-25T13:39:00.000+09:00

So today the nurse had an interesting request for me. She asked to help her with the check ups for all the students. While we do have such check ups in America, they often stop in grade school and they are not as detailed.. Here in Japan they do things like bust, hip and waist measurements, height and sitting height (not sure what is up with the sitting height...) But they also check for heart problems and other things that I suppose should be check out(since Japanese physical fitness programs are pretty intense!)

I assumed I'd help measure their height or something so agreed. But, actually a doctor must come and check their hearts and they found that many girls were fairly embarrassed and this strange doctor man sans nurse lifting up their shirt and checking on them. So they decided I'd be perfect with that job of the nurse lifting their shirts up for him! I was at first shocked and confused and debated saying wait I change my mind! but then I just kinda was like ok?

So the time rolls around and I got down and they are just about to start, I'm actually a smidge late. So at first I help lift up the shirts, but really I'm HIDEOUSLY embarrassed. And after awhile I realize, I don't even need to be there. The girls don't seem to be embarrassed at all, and lifting up their shirts actually exposes them more than the doctor just quickly sticking his hand up there and checking their pulse. And the next line over, the girls seem way more embarrassed.

So I eventually just give up on the lifting shirts, since it makes me feel like a pervert and holy crap it's embarrassing. So then I am just sitting there feeling even more like a GIANT pervert, after a few minutes of just standing there the nurse comes in and says I can go they are not so shy as the girls yesterday. And I think THANK GOD!

I promptly run away, I feel really creepy uncle..but actually the girls seemed to be fine. They were embarrassed by the doctor but in the room with me just sitting there for no reasons students were waving at me. And afterwards some students who managed to already change back into uniforms saw me in the hall and said hi...I mean this was like 5 minutes after I lifted up their shirt! I assumed they'd all just think I was a pervert, but they all seemed to assume I was just doing my job....

In the end I am sure even I'd be embarrassed at that age to have a male doctor reach into my shirt in public to check my heart, but the fact they weren't embarrassed at me holding their shirts, is surely a difference in culture. Also thinking about it, as second graders it's not the first time they've done it, so I guess to them it was just the thing you periodically needed to do. Either way I high tailed it out of there as FAST as POSSIBLE!

Another funny note, normally the doctor I was helping would not even lift up the shirt more than enough to stick his hand in, and he'd normally look away, but when the one girl who is skinny and yet has largish boobs (there are some chunky students with some as well I suppose) came he kinda lifted up her shirt and took a quick peek! What a perv! I totally spotted it, but I guess she didn't find this odd and kinda just went about her own business and even said arigatou goazaimasu as she left... WEIRD!

Either way....what a horrible experience surely I will not be able to look at some students the same way. This is some what like the teacher who spotted me at the gym showers and of course decided to say hi....we American's don't like the naked nor do we like the touching....it's weird to me, and I'm sorry but this is one thing of Japanese culture I don't think I will soon adjust to...

BAH!

2007-04-24T14:28:00.000+09:00

Damn I lose my entire post! But then I shall attempt to continue... I had my 2 hours class today and its a mixed bag of really good students and really horrible students. I made a plan that I thought would be fun and educational. Instead it broke down into horror, and then I made the teacher severely offended.

It was the difference between American and Japanese Schools, and I thought to tell them that there are many things they dislike but they have their good points as well. Of course my power point again did not work, thus rendering half my lesson unteachable. Also it made me kinda frazzled and off kilter, in my rush I didn't remember everything.

By the end, half the class could only see the good of American Schools and none of the bad. And they were all just like hating Japanese Schools. Of course I eventually got them to see how some things were really awful. Like how low our graduation rates are, and how students are expected to be independent, and how parents will even make their children pay their own tuition.

But some kids were just terrible and ignoring what I say. Some now have this idea that, Kristen is American, and she won't scream and hit us (I won't actually..) but then it also makes them think they can talk whenever they want to, and do what they want.

I did not really break down to American style horror (which, when I really think about was pretty bad) But I mean its HORROR compared to any Japanese teacher's experience. I man one girl threw a pencil case to her friend ::gasp:: I making it sound like a joke, but really its kinda shocking even to me.

So she was exasperated over the entire things, and I had a talk with her after class that was some what heated on her side. She basically felt I was spitting on the Japanese School system, and making it seem like American school's were the greatest (the exact opposite message) So BAH! I feel really inept, and unsure of my self. I made this lesson thinking it be great for the kids, but in the end it was horrible failure.

Its like my doctor lesson, which I'd thought be raucous fun but in the end it left a student in tears. I'm just not sure how to teach this 2 hour class, and since I have this appearance of experience and knowledge (I make my lesson plans within the day its requested, I have all the print-outs and ideas done by at least the next day, and give teachers are fairly detailed plan of what I want to do) Of course thats not really the case, and I think teachers feel not only out of the loop but they feel so out of it, they just assume I want to assume control. While thats kinda what I've been feeling lately, I really do appreciate their input. I'm just a kid with out teaching experience except what I've garnered from here.

I'm unsure how I'll teach with this teacher from now on, but ARGH! I really just need to think about it more. I get a great idea and it flashes and I run with it, but I really need to second guess myself. Because man I've recently had a lot of bad classes...

I just can't wait for Vacation...and this funk is happening at the worst time. I have my first English club lesson today! Man, I think I am pushing myself too far, I am worrying about First year lessons, Second year lessons, and since I've been going to 2 distinctly different 3rd year lessons, I am making 4 plans. And I am really frazzling out, especially with the start up of my English club, the advertisements, the egg coloring, the candies, everything. I'm really kinda tired.....

Thinking about it, I thought "man I just sit here SOOO MUCH! I can do WAY MORE!" But I think a lot of teachers have down time, I mean they only teach about 15-17 lessons, which is less than I will teach on busy weeks (I will have to teach about 19 classes....maybe more if they really cram in those Second year lessons) And while they do have a lot of grading, that is in a lot of ways just busy work. The lessons planning which I thought was SOOO EASY before it really burning me out. Though I usually bosh them out, it takes alot to perfect them, and usually the first class of any lesson doesn't go that well. Since my oral class is just once a week, I guess I can't see if as completely failures...but really I am just going INSANE. I am just burning out! UGH!

On another note I made my first morning announcement today ^_^ While it makes me feel like more of a teacher, there are so many ways for me to get better......

Blogging and the rest

2007-04-16T10:19:00.000+09:00

When I first made this blog, I posted like a madwoman...but now that I`ve settled in, I can see why others just do not blog. Once you get out of the groove or too much time passes, you don`t know what to blog about, or its been so long you have TOO much to blog about. I say this now, but it may just be due to the fact I have no laptop and I have just been away from the computer.

Well, on with that. Hawaii was fun, got to do alot of things, eat too much food and such. Things have changed in Hawaii, whether thats good or bad I can`t tell but it was nice. I kinda was shocked at how adjusted I am to the Japan lifestyle though. I almost freaked when my sister made a left turn into a right lane, thinking WRONG LANE! Also how everyone looks, I kinda forgot what Hawaii people looked like o.0 I sometimes say, oh that girl looks like she could be from Hawaii, but going back....not really.

Also I have gained 10-12 lbs in Japan, enough so that many a person went woah... Not a good thing, but strangely in Japan no one notices. I guess since I see them everyday its really subtle. I really need to shed those 10 lbs, because I KNOW it`s not muscle, its fat and I feel it! GRRRR....

On a completely nother note, I have some new student who I have not talked to at all, till yesterdays mountain climb. It was ok, and I also bought along Charity the crazy, crazy Yoshii-machi ALT. She amused my students, and I felt kinda bad seeing as they ALL though she was their ALT. BOO-URNS looking so FOB.

Also, their English is SOOO good, I mean things I had to tell my current first graders and even things my current third graders do not know they knew. I hear the test scores for my school has improved so Yay! Or as Yamato notes (along with my teachers) they just get worse because they just recently studied for enterance exams and are better, but will get worse. I`m getting them from the begining so I`m going to do my best to maintain!

But on a side note, one girl remembered me from like October when I did this sample T.T. lesson of my school. It was a simple game, and she landed up winning so I gave her some Hawaii key-chains. While climbing the mountain, we kept on moving classes and on the way back down some girl went ``Oh! Kristen! Do you remember me?`` I thought it was a trick question, like if I remembered her from 10 minutes ago...but I honestly didn`t so I said...``no...`` So she said some long Japanese word... I didn`t understand it at all but through my amazing guessing powers I realized she was from that Junior High show around. I was jazzed she remembered my name, and I also remembered her.

She was the ``I love you girl`` At the end of the sample class she came up to talk to me, and said some crappy Hawaiian, like ``aloha`` So I taught her some stupid stuff and she then started saying ``I love you`` I assumed for some reason she knew aloha was another way of saying I love you, so I praised her about it. But she kept saying it...so I then thought she wanted to know the Hawaiian word for it ``OH! The other way of saying I love you is Kuuipo``, so she started saying that to me instead...then I realized...shes just being weird...

Long story short (Lies) , completely forgetting what she looked like other than the fact she was tall failed it. This year the first years are ESPECIALLY tall. Taller than Charity even, much to her DENIAL! So kinda just forgot but she has returned, but she isn`t weird at all, she just seems to like English so YAY. Even though I am pretty sure its not true I`ll pretend she came to this school cuz she liked my lesson HAH!

Also funny, since Charity was here I lied to some students and said `She is the new ALT, I`m going home.` I was rather jazzed as a girl went `NANDE?` and looked genuinely sad, so yay. In some ways I feel I`ve been kinda making up for my lack of foreignness with kindness, and remembering nameness (also semi lies, I am just really nice to her class for some reason)

Also I realize though I try..I really am only have a good relation with some students. Some student just still do not even know my name. I want to be an ALT who all the students know. Alot of the new first years have no clue what their old ALT`s name were. And I want to change that...I know thats kinda hard since especially for current third years I only taught them about 6 or so times and knew them only for 6 months. I actually wont teach them at all but I think I need to be more Yamato style and randomly talk to anyone. Some classes just completely ignore me, while other are screaming and having a great time just seeing me. My goal is to remember EVERY single second year student, by the time they are third years I want to be able to call out their names in the halls. I also want to by next year remember all current first year students... 800 students...1100 if I try for all current students. Hmm...can I make it?

I hope so... my English Club hopefully will really pick up steam, as I am trying to advertise like crazy. I`ve asked every English teacher in the school (their are 12 minus me) to help me out. Also I will make a morning announcement about it on monday (its next tuesday) For you other JETs out there you know what that means.... Kinda scary but I really want some kids to come, I`m totaly freaked no one will come =(

Well, my computer will come back hopefully this week and then maybe I`ll post more, till then please respond!

HAWAII

2007-03-23T15:50:00.000+09:00

So this Sunday I'm going home..YAY! The bad news is, the ONE things my mom asked me to get her, bunka shishu, this weird things I can't find anywhere but online, will not be procured. Simply due to the fact that I am a procrastinator till the very last, and I so did not order it in time. Argh, I suck! But hopefully I will be able to RUN to Hakata and buy it before I have to RUSH back to make some sort of school end meeting at 7:00. Ahh the silly life I lead here.

Also sadly, I really wanted to take pics with some of my favorite students in Kyudo BUT I forgot my camera. BAH! So I visited them for like 15 minutes (they practiced very little today) and then they were all cleaning up so I decided to make my leave. You'll all just have to get my really ghetto pics from like ages ago. Sadly could not get a picture of the awesome people, or the captain who is super silly. Boo-urns. Also I wanted to stand next to them to show the fact that I am a midget. Most of them are rather tall, and I am sadly short. Not that I am extremely tall, nor is it that no one is short, its just that the ones who are tall are tall and Japanese and skinny. Making me feel lame and extra short =/.

I'll be in Hawaii in two days but will continue to blog, I wonder if I'll get reverse culture shock? For sure I'll be happy not needing to come to work everyday! But hopefully no one will have changed too much. I know I have quite a bit, though old habits do die hard. My older sister went to New York for about the same amount of time I lived in Japan and when she came back she was a much better person but with the year she had gone back to her old ways and it was as if she never changed.

I'm worried about Hawaii, it's people, it seems to encourage stagnation and contentness. People seem to lack drive and are so laid back its scary. In Japan I am still lazy and sometimes find myself just wasting the day away as I would do in Hawaii. But here I am also driven by so many people who just do so much more. I still can't break all my old habits but I truely believe I'm getting better.

Things I've managed to do in Japan:

Eat vegetables : Thats right I am not up to the level of salads and the thought of fresh cripsy vegetables is still revolting to me, but I wont sit there for 2 hours picking out every green onion, nor will I not eat anything with specks of green in it. As long as its been cooked thouroughly enough to make it seem less vegetable like I'm fine...generally.

Become more patient: Not that much better, but still an improvement. I still talk insanely fast with fluent English speakers, but even I am amazed how long I will stand there forcing children to talk to me in Engrish, even how SLOOOOOWWWW I talk to them, though I'll admit it I do sometimes sound like William Shatner when I do this =/. I'll even dumb words down further and further even though I speak some of the best Japanese in the area, and it would talk me 2 seconds to just tell them the word in Japanese. (I get more AHA! when I just use simple English to explain to them)

Get better at Japanese: Not as good as I thought I would, but that's understandable considering all my friends are not Japanese and I never study. But I guess somethings never change.

Make many new friends from different places: I can't belive how many friends I have who are white! It sometimes blows my mind and I sometime think the students arn't getting Internationalized I AM!

Read books: I hate reading and I still can't really enjoy it, but I've read quite a few nonfiction titles. And I've generally come to enjoy it....we'll work on fiction and literature on the next year!

Become positive: I'm a realist true and true but I realize coming to Japan its actually quite realistic to be somewhat optimistic. I often think "Ahh, things are bad..but it can't stay bad forever" I still find the faults in the day but instead of thinking it could be worse, I find myself thinking it will get better. Which I suppose is nice.

Get used to cold: Even people who live in Japan wear less clothes than me, even people in Canada get colder more often than me. My life in my apartment with no heat has made me freakishly immune to the cold. This whole week even though I KNOW it drops below freezing in the morning, I have been sleeping WITHOUT my heated blanket...not that smart but eh. I feel I'm stronger for it...though I fear returning to Hawaii with the freakish heat o.0.

Things I really need to work on the next year:

Play guitar: My god, I said I'd work on this but I so have not. It doesn't help that every other day I think "Why not play ______ instead!" Ugh, if anything I'm going to start drumming, but I still think it will be good to play guitar, I even bought a new shiny pretty one! Argh!

Save more money: I'm really good at saving money compared to everyone else here. But because I resist on big obvious things, (like heat, clothing, bed, comfort) I splurge on stupid.. crane games non stop, random giant bags of stuff I probably don't need but make me think "OH! its a deal!", food and booze. Well I guess that's not that different from my life in Hawaii..

Buy nicer clothes/try and live more comfortably: More like realize I can spend money on it, also spend money on comfort, I'm still unsure why I still sleep in a large sleeping bag..it's beyond strange. Also I sucked it up even when temperatures dropped below freezing IN my apartment with NO HEAT! I really need to get something...

Be less lazy/procrastinating: I can't count how many times I've said I should do this and still bummed on the internet. I often blame the cold (which it is) but really I could do more and I so don't.

Get up earlier!: Granted I get up on time, but everyday its a MAD-RUSH, and its because I do get up early enough but then I say eh I have time and drift off to sleep till its at the point where I don't have time and then have to rush like a madwoman...bah!

Exercise!: I can not believe HOW much weight I've put on in Japan its shocking and disgusting, I paid $1000 on a yearly membership to my local gym I need to use it damn it!

Get better at communication: I can not count the people who I just lose touch with just because I think I'll email them later, I'll call them later and never do. I'm so bad at it! BAH! I try to work on this alot, but I swear I only get marginally better each time, I just hate talking on the phone.

Yikes seems like so much I still need to work on. But I feel I've grown alot, especially living on my own. It's not really living on my own though, since rent is HIGHLY subsidized there is just no struggle even though I only get paid like 2,600 a month. (Wait that's alot) Generally I get paid enough where I don't have to pinch penny's and generally can get what I want when I want it. (though I still somehow deny myself it..) But, I do my own laundry, buy my own food, wash the dishes, go to work, get myself up, insane things I could never do in Hawaii. I wish I was more productive and I could be more, easily. But I've come pretty far from the barely trying at all in life that I used to do. If only I tried from the beginnings I wonder how far I could be right now, but there no changing the past, no time for worrying about what could've been, I can only hope to improve.

So see you all in Hawaii! I'll be jazzed to see how everyone else has changed! (if at all....)

I think I'm turning Japanese

2007-03-20T20:21:00.000+09:00

Ok, I almost shaved off my eye brows! I now KNOW I've been in Japan too long. In Hawaii I never wore make up and didn't really even take care of myself. I dressed really ghetto and just excepted that I wasn't that great looking. But in Japan that is just unacceptable, ALSO everyone else is like HOT, so you just feel super lame. And not playing with your hair for like 15 hours a day means your basicly a man. Even they spend at least 10 hours on their hair.

So for a person who is lucky to even comb their hair its a bit of a shock. So I guess I've become more careful on how I look. I actually sometimes wear make up, since I've been doing that I also been staring at my face longer. I realized awhile ago one eye is smaller than the other, but staring at my face I realized my entire right side of my face is less developed somehow, my right jaw is less pronounced and I have less cheek bone on my right side. So it's been making me paranoid, but Oh well those things cant be helped anyhow.

Either way, the eye brows started as in Japan NO ONE has eye brows. The boys dont, nor the girls. My school even does eye brow checks to make sure they have them but alas it does little. So, lately somehow in response I've been plucking my eyebrows EVEN THINNER! And when I do it the student compliment me, like I look beautiful today etc, etc. So I think its been making me go crazy! Finnally I realize that I have like seriously 4 hairs on my left eye brow at one section, and I dont know if they are going to grow back. I want them! So I decided oh if i just shave it off then itll look like I plucked them nicely but still have eye brows! And then I suddenly went OMG, I will be like those eye brow less students who look DAMN scary when they forget their eye brow pencils. I can just imagine myself with a sharpie in the corner! FEAR.

Well moving on with that. Last few days have been nice, since I see second years less they've been really jazzed with my lessons. Also my last lesson went off really well. And I've been hearing more hellos and I love Kristen in the hallways, always nice. Also on the last mountain hike I finally hiked with class 7. I like this class but I also hate them since they are so noisy they often just break down into chaos. But one girl and her friend who are undoubtedly in the bad ass we don't work ever talked to me. Their defacto leader is semi on crack all the time. Shes screaming and having a great time with her horrible engrish, and I really butter them up saying they are doing great etc. And at the end they say to one another in Japanese, I CANT BELIEVE I UNDERSTAND HER! I cant believe she understands us! Wow! This makes me want to study English more! Man I wanted to cry, it makes me really feel like Japan is not wasting their money on bringing me over here. If class 1-7 Yuki, the Yuki who failed music can actual come to want to study english....WOW.

Teachers are leaving, sadness... (One of my JTE's, hes kinda goofy and not reliable but students seem to like him and I am the closest to him of all the ones I teach with) but new students are coming. Things are looking up (minus my eye brows) but I'm still happy to go home. I really have done alot I think so I'm happy to have finished strong. Next year I think I'll do alot better. There were alot of ups and downs and I really had to wonder about Japan. But even though its freezing cold in my apartment and I can't shower and sometime I have no idea whats going on...I feel good to be in Japan now. Yay...now if only my eye brows would grow back in! I promise to treat you better...please grow back T.T

Class Match

2007-03-16T10:05:00.000+09:00

In Japan all students have to take entrance exams to get into their chosen High Schools. Its no different for my school, and then all the teachers have to grade them. That essentially takes 2 days, BUT instead of giving the student a bunch of days off they hold class match.

Classes in Japan are segregated highly, student don't move, teachers do. So they become really close to their class....or have basically no friends o.0

So alot of my favorites classes did well... So as a teacher I should be impartial. But I'm not really a teacher so I don't really stay impartial lol! I even decided not to cheer for teams so I wont show my favorites but lo and behold I was cheering on my favorite team in the end.... Oh well...

Sadly two of my favorite classes landed up going head to head and I landed up cheering my obvious love class. Felt a bit bad...my favorite class landed up losing. Their own fault...like alot of classes they made their two teams even. (The classes in Japan are HUGE so they can make 2 full teams for volleyball with subs, and boys can make 2 full soccer teams) I was going to cheer boys soccer, but it was POURING FREEZING rain all day, and the boys had to play in it. Felt bad for them...but not enough to warrent me to go out there o.0

In the end class 4 girls won, (the boys of class 4 also won their soccer matches so that class of rather quiet kids did super well. Who knew the class knows a "zombie", "dead", etc would win! ) they were smart they made their b team absolute crap. I mean so bad they got beaten something like 2-15, 5-15..ouch, and only played one game. (Though not as bad as class 3, their A and B team got eliminated in the ranking first day mtches and didn't even get to play the second day !!) But their A team raped, and I didn't want them to win somehow. I always like cheering the underdog even though I really like their class. Though for some reason I don't like the girl who is the classes defacto leader. Some classes have either one boy or one girl who is the bad ass leader and basically rules the class. In class4 most students are generally shy but this one girl is really not, shes smart too but I already know shes going to be a horror student next year...sadness. Too bad her listening comprehension probably beats some of my JTE's...

It was good over all I got to talk to some of my bad class 2 students, even the girl who is semi hopeless in English. At first she just answered all my questions with OH YES! Regardless if it was a yes or no question..but in time we were communicating...via noises and hand motions but she was jazzed and though shes actually horrible went...Woah I'm doing pretty good here! Also, I probably remember about 100 students names before this but I think I've LEVELED that UP to about 120~ w00t

Also funny, my favorite student is in class 2. Yes that horrible that I say it out so honestly "favorite student" but she is awesome. Shes also a kiss ass, though I hated those types of students in school now that I am a teacher, SHIT! it works.... So her class was doing well, and I was with her other A team class mates cheering them on (they made their teams so well they were basically equal, one over all very well rounded and one with a couple power hitters.) So they are playing a team with some power strikers and the girl in front isn't digging the ball properly and it just deflects off her arm at sharp angles...into my fav students face...three times. Its pretty ouch looking and its in the same spot her right eye area.

So at the third time I go ouch! That sucks! So one of her team mates (who is not a very good student but loves English) says " Ohhhhh.. (mock sympathy sounding) beautiful face....BAM beautiful face..NO beautiful face..hehehehehe." Ouch double harshness, she is rather good looking and even her friends will tease her about being so skinny and being cute etc.

In the second year my favorite class wins, though I don't really watch. It was pretty much a given that they'd win, and like I said before I don't like cheering for the winning team. Class 8 they are..not the brightest but super energetic, and are super sporty! Also the captain of the volleyball team is in there and though shes short has an insane spike! Amazingly the teams that made the top were class 1 (top science class..the class with the least amount of girls, and class 9 the top literature class) You'd think these intelligent students would just suck at sports but they did really well.

I also ran into Reika, a girl I feel somwhat sorry for. Shes in class 1, the class that made the finals and its the science class and most girls in there are...science looking girls. But this girl is really cute, and super shy but seems to generally enjoy English (I think...) So when she saw me she went "OH! OH!....hello..." She is also.....slow in the reaction department, so for Japan that magicaly inhances your cute charm +5. But I feel bad for her because in class she gets teased all the time, for being too cute o.0 Like oh your so cute! Too cute! Oh this is so cute...its like Reika! CUTE CUTE CUTE said in the way that little children like to tease the kid who is fat..as if cute were suddenly a negative o.0. It's weird! But I guess I don't really need to feel bad for her, shes good looking and obviously smart....shit! I can see why they have to bring her down a notch. LoL..strange Japan.

Overall it was really fun, and seeing some of the kids being just such awesome athletes made me want to get back in shape. I dont know why but some girls just didn't have that air of being awesome athletes and alot of them tell me they are awful at sports! Also volleyball is one of my weakest sports (also the sport I twisted my pinkie finger doing, never bothered splinting it either and thus I have a fucked up pinkie) so just knowing they could just destroy me at it makes me for some reason bitter. I want to get in shape and get better at volleyball....I am also silly. So I can see why Japan matches me.

Once again w00t Hawaii Des date in T-minus 9 days!

youd post this much if you were sick too

2007-03-10T11:40:00.000+09:00

So update on the sick. Its gotten better in some ways and in other ways much much worse. So I get up feeling rather goodish my first sleep in a LONG time where I did not get up 3-4 times hacking away. Also it was a nice 8 hour then another 3 hours sleep. Yamato calls to see how I was, which was nice. Good to know people are worried if im alive or not.

So I get up and look forward to the sushi I bought last nite. I was a little worried since I planned on eating it some 12 hours ago but thought refrigeration! But no, I ate half a piece and thought it was a little gross, so I tried one bite of another one but that was bad too, so I tried to eat the tamago the most safe thing, but no I landed up throwing the whole thing out. Also for the dango (mochi on a stick) I bought it was hard as rock and gross... so blah what a waste of food.

I land up drinking a bunch of aquarius (its sports drink) and an apple plus some popcorn in a bag. But soon after an hour of this I feel a bit queasy and I run to the bathroom, its diarrhea. And then again, and again , and again and before I know it Ive drunken the entire 2 liter bottle of aquarius but am debating if I can make it to the store and back without another attack of bathroom.

I feel so lame I organized my ipod a bit (it was only semi dead as in i restarted it and such) But I'm so weak I cant even play guitar, and its really cold for some reason. Its close to noon and yet I can still see my breath in my apartment. So I'm walking around in sweater and long pants with booties on, and I still have to wear a blanket draped around me (something I didnt even do in the dead of winter) So I'm not sure what I'm going to do about laundry, showering (it takes 2 hours to heat and fil my tub and then I need to splash the water onto myself to bath, which I'm pretty sure I don't have the strength for) So right now Japan and my shitty apartment is REALLY kicking my ass right now, I debate crawling back into my sleeping bag and sleeping the rest of the day. But I'm certain I need to rehydrate and I'm sure getting out of that thing to go the bathroom may not work.......

Needless to say I feel like crap.....I don't know if I can make it Sunday, in fact I dont even know if I'll be better by monday...blah.

Kristen's pyschedelic freak out

2007-03-09T08:43:00.000+09:00

So I've been posting like a mad-woman..and today is no different.

So I got a bunch of medicine from my Dr as I said earlier. So I had taken some just before I slept the night before, but the next day for what ever reasons I didn't take my morning dose till close to lunch. At that point I ate some food and felt a bit dizzy from all the medicine but soldiered onto the rest of the day. I come home around 5 and decide to eat take another dose, take a nap and get up and do all the chores I NEEDED to do. Well I get to sleep a bit later, but I get up at 2...ugh go figure. But I got a bunch of sleep so I think I can just stay up the rest of the night or maybe get a small nap after my chores are done.

So I get up eat something really small and take my 3rd dose of medicine. Maybe its because it was without food, or maybe its because I didn't take this other medicine because I left some at school, but holy crap after one hour (before my laundry was done) the room was spinning. And I felt weird, like I was tripping on e. Like I was freezing cold and when I went into my warm sleeping bed it was the greatest feeling ever! And I had no strength just trying to close my hands was a great effort. I was tripping out hard enough that I couldn't sleep even though the room was spinning.

It was like I was drunk...but without that queasy feeling, and it wasn't as fun as no one else was there. So I decided what else to do but to listen to some psychedelic freak out music, so I put on the only stuff I have 00i00. Which is a mish mash of acid rock and noise, PERFECT. So I kinda just trip out on the music and the sounds just kinda wringing my hands around a hokkairo. It was weird to say the least and even more scary is I'm taking all the medicine again this morning with very little to sleep, I fear my afternoon classes.

I just took it and I'm starting to get that freak out feeling a little right now, but not so bad. I think when I take the medicine I forgot it evens it out a little? Anyway the drugs the doctor gave me are "Sefuzon", "A-sen", "Rizochim", 'hi-pen", "Ebasteru" and "Fusukode" I had taken about 4 of them before but can't remember which ones, so if your ever in Japan and want to freak out on the cheap I recommend one of these. Sadly it was too cold to get a guitar, and really its not like I was going to make freak out music. But interesting experience.

Note: My ipod seems to have completely died, it just had flashes of sadness. I'm hoping its just a really dead battery but signs point to futile doom.

I didn't finish my laundry thus I am wearing these pants for the "gasp" second time! Horror.
I'll be home in 2 weeks! 2 weeks! yay.

Sick....but with less doom

2007-03-08T11:23:00.000+09:00

So I am still sick, but I went to the hospital and I got a butt load of medicine. In Japan the doctors just look at you symptoms and give you medicine, without even really looking at you at all! Only after i said I was coughing up large chunks of pus that he looked into my throat and said it was swollen but since I had no fever not to worry...WHAT!

Anyhow I'm not sure if the stuff hes given me is working but I realize I'm not drinking enough water. It was also so cold last nite even though I KNEW I needed it I was hesitant to get up....DOOM.

So I had my first second year lesson in a long time, and I had 2-8. All the teachers think this class is dumb...and to be fair my questions and answers were met with alot of blanks stares and calls of MURI! (IMPOSSIBLE!) BUT they were all really good, did what I asked and tried. Which is what I love the most. Also this class has the captain of the kyudo club, shes generally a happy go lucky but slightly....slow girl. What made me really jazzed was when I asked them to take out their name cards. It's been like 2 months since I last saw them and I assumed they'd all have lost it, but no only did a bunch of them have it, that girl (head of kyudo club) who is part of the kinda badass we don't pay attention or work group told her friends (who all mostly lost it) Of course I bring this with me everyday! (In japanese of course) So I was jazzed, I kinda cheated and gave her a stamp for free...but its ok because really I think I talk to her more than I talk to teachers.

So now..on to the DOOM classes. My god why did they cram the 3 worst classes in the grade into one day. Granted class 8 is love (they are considered bad because they don't study and talk alot) but class 7....AND class 5~! Argh, my last class 5 lesson was so fail I think when I went back to the shokuin I wanted to cry. I didn't but I sure felt like it, I mean literally half the class was sleeping and the other half wasnt just talking they had just broken down into MADNESS, and the 2 people who looked like they wanted to try were in the group with the girl who you can't talk to, can't get near, or touch, not just teachers, EVERYONE. So they basicly failed since she kept on screaming at her group to leave her alone..........man that was tough.

After that I think the horror that is ussually class 7 faded from memory. But, that also has a simular girl, who will occasionally talk if shes in a good mood but when shes not...man she gave me a stare that stole a piece of my soul!

Also I am running out of AWSOME mini prizes. I still have like 30-40 pieces left but its in a big box so it looks like not much. =/ So i think I'll run home at some point grab some more trinkity crap (coin purses and crap) and throw it in. Just....11 more classes CRAP...oh well at least I already went though like only 7 doh! Lesson also learned next year I need to revise prize game. I'm not sure what else to throw in, I'll probably at some point go to a UFO catch and get more prizes last time I went I won a bunch of 100 en tiny prizes (cute little plushies, I actually managed to get 3 with one try each! w00t.) But that time I could only manage one big toy out of 10 tries! That was really bad! >< Oh well..... Even though I have a bunch of classes I am already bored!

SICK DOOM

2007-03-07T09:47:00.000+09:00

I am really sick right now....like just keeping my head up and typing is taking alot of effort. The worst part is in an hour I have to teach 3 classes..... And repeat tommorow and friday... I am really sick right now but I have very little time to do my classes. I thought I was getting better but it suddenly got cold and though the cold does not always have a direct correlation with being sick, its been making my cough worse. I've been getting up at least 3 times a night hacking away so hard, I don't think I'm getting quality sleep. I really shouldve gone to the doctor yesterday when I had no classes, but I really felt I was getting better. Right now I'm so light headed I'm not sure what I'm going to do come class time... But if I were to cancel my classes now, I'm not sure when or if I could finish them. Its the last two weeks of class...its the last lesson for both first and second years! I NEED to get better...I don't think I'll be going to Japanese class today.... I just pray I don't pass out in class.

Edit: Ok, it started snowing but my first few lessons went basicly pretty good. The last class was just so awful. I completely lost my voice from just screaming at them, and during the interview game two boy groups got together so they could look up offensive words on their dictionary and string together nonsensical engrish sentences that were semi insulting... I couldnt get the entire meaning but could get that they were insulting, the looking like a man, something about my ass...yeah fun.

I'm not sure what to do when they are that bad I can't disicipline them and that teachers just sits down the ENTIRE class. Shes basicly given up on them and ignores all the crap stuff they do, and so I'm there where 10 of the students are sleeping, another 15 are just talking, and maybe 5 are trying. At some point during the review game I just gave up screaming and told them next year I hope they all settle down and learn to focus....of course they didnt understand and I wasnt going to force them to. When students don't know words like choice, move, make......argh.

I fear tommorow I teach the two WORST classes in the entire school. These classes make my 1-6 class....almost bearable. Those two are basicly like class 1-6 but with the topper that both classes have two HORROR students that basicly make teaching next to impossible. I'm leaveing at 4:15 my supervisor informed me i can leave from that time, and me staying till 430 is me being dumb. I've been trying to segway my time schedule back to 430 which is what i USED to stay till. But now knowing i can leave even earliar means....I'm going to do that. Especially on wends, when I have Japanese class. A\

Sick Vacation

2007-03-05T13:14:00.000+09:00

So I have my spiffy car, and Friday comes along and on Saturday we are to set off to go to Nagasaki to see the lantern festival. Sadly friday I had an extremly busy day, but was generally happy as all 3 of my lessons went well. Though after my back to back to back classes I had a quick lunch in which I just landed up rushing home to change so I could climb mt. tenppaizan. It was there that I realized a few dumb things.

It had suddenly become freakishly hot and I alwasy thought the students are so dumb why am I the only one carrying something to drink? So with my juice in hand I climb up with the class 3 girls, which is the one class in which I am on more friendly terms with the boys (since they are rowdy and friendly and the girls are less so) So the boys all run up to talk to me, but eventually I try to seg-way to talk to the girls since I had talked with the class 3 boys like on two mountain climbs. (I'm trying to get through all the groups) So after awhile we are basicly running since we have to do some sort of eye brow check (Some rule about students must have eye brows...youd think this would not be a problem but more than a few boys have.....next to no eye brows =/)

So at this point some less in shape students look like they are about to pass out so I start offering them some juice, some accept and one girl who is really bad I basicly just give her the whole bottle. Even then its so bad the final leg of the climb I am dragging her up to ensure she doesnt fall off the mountain. On the way back down I'm popped I am losing my voice from combination screaming at classes and a cold, and I gave away most of my juice so I did something bad and ran away to get some vending machine drinks.

It was then another teacher told me, that drinks are banned untill summer. The students are supposed to suck it up since its cool and they can handle it. Its just insane, I couldnt belive it I mean like 3 girls in just the class I was walking with almost passed out. I thought what horrible rule. I'm not sure what I'm going to do about it but I will continue to break it (since no one told me it was a rule, even though I've bought something to drink with me every mountain climb) and pretend I still dont know because its not only dumb, but if the students can't carry somethign to drink I will surely give them some.

Also Shinnae visits my school and its fun, we go to kyudo club and bug the students. I was highly amused when the super tall awsome Kyudo girl (kayo) finds the shoes shinnae is wearing is really high, shes about the same height as shinnae without the shoes but with them on Shinnae looked much taller. When i pointed this out, she was kinda like CHEATER! Very funny as the girl is ussually SUPER shy and quiet. So I was amused.

So Saturday morning comes and Im feeling REALLY bad. I seriously lay in bed for awhile debating if I really wanna suck it up and go. But I do since if I dig out 4 other people are stuck without a ride. So I head over, and there are MASSIVE delays. We don't get out onto the road untill a good 2 hours later, and while on it I follow the other driver and in short we get pretty lost. (and I'm not even leading!) It gets so bad I land up leading (!!!!!) Of course this makes me nervous as I intended to just follow the other car blindly. So I get frazzled and bitchy and scared, since as you all know I have the world worst direction sense.

The whole trip is ok, but I basicly get sicker and sicker as it wears on, and by the next day I feel kinda like dying. I eventually get a bit better (after a bit of a hurl) and on the way back, I freak out since I'm sick, I don't know where I'm going and there are two back seat drivers telling me what to do. Which is good in a way because...I'm basicly like anti directions.

But I realize a bunch of things, I really need to calm down and stop freaking out when I drive. In Hawaii driving by myself, sometimes I would get lost for 3 hours. Which is pretty insane for an island that is so small you could probably drive around it in 1-2 hours. (well the part of the island with roads...) And I basicly accepted a long time ago I'm really bad at directions and sometimes things like that happen.

But in Japan its way scary, becuase getting lost will not lead you in circles it will lead you to god knows two prefectures away in some god forsaken land. And here there are time constraints, and people are almost always in my car. So I freak out and I don't know what to do and I get angry. I'm kinda sick of this feeling of pressure, as I'm a SUPER laid back person with very very little stress in my life. But, I can't just pretend to live a life with the attitude of, whatever comes I'll handle it. I really need to take hold of my life and steer in on my own. I just ussually let my life flow in the relaxed way that is common to Hawaii. But in the real world such an attitude does not work.

In a way truely believe that I will not get that much better at directions. Its not like I've given up and no longer try but trying just seems to bring on diminishing returns. When I first came to Japan I decided I WILL get better, but getting lost for 3 hours on my bike two towns away...kinda killed that idea. But I can't live in a world hopeing there will be someone to guide me the right way. To me directions are like words to a dyslexic person, I understand the rules behind it, its just in my head they get all jumbled up and don't make any sense. I'm not a dumb person and I truely believe that as well, and I refuse to belive that not understanding directions makes me less of a person... but it does. And while it may take me alot of work, if a dyslexic person can eventually learn to read, I can eventually figure out left from right...

MOAR DOOM

2007-02-26T10:22:00.000+09:00

So this weekend was nuts...as always. So I was going to have a nice quiet evening cruising with some friends in town, just what I wanted since I drank WAY too much the week before. So I head into town...and I soon notice I do not have my cell phone. ARGH! So I get there thinking...numbers..do I know any? I do not. Keitai Mails... Keitai Mails... well that was also a fail. So after maybe 15-20 minutes of deliberation, and looking (I knew Charity was somewhere there) I decide CRAP! I need to go back home. I'm so lost without my cell phone its not even funny =( So by the time I get back its like 9:30 and I do not want to go back out.

Charity, the JET from Yoshi (way out in stickville) had also come into town and I was going to meet her at some point but basicly I was like ok HELL NO! Please come to Futsukaichi and we can eat and what not here. So after some deliberation and convincing she comes down, she kinda wants to party and I kinda want to show her all the wonderful things Dazaifu, Chikushino can offer. So we go to the local warawara, and it kinda blows. The service was AWFUL and the food took FOREVER to get there. By the time we leave the restraunt its close to 11! And I'm kinda tired, but either way Charity came in from Yoshii so I decide to take her to an izakaya and get a drink before heading off to Karaoke and then hopefully sleep.

We go to an izakaya I had been to before..just once. I knew it was nice and a bit pricey, but Charity was on the look out for good looking guys and I thought, the guys ARE good looking there I guess. (there are 5 bartenders there for some odd reason..) So we take a drink but decide since its expensive here we should take shots! And they have TONS of alcohol I never see anywhere (like Jeiger) So we take some shots and they are just BLOWN out of the water at our (tsuyosa) So thats is just awful for Kristen, because they were just blown away by Charity's strength~! And completely ignoring the fact I'm drinking more...thus the competetive stupid in me comes out and I decide well...ohoho you think THATS strong! So we start drinking up a storm, and its really good. Good quality, they actually shake our drinks, make it really nice, etc, etc. Soon weve been invited into the underground mixing studio/dance floor. And were chatting up the bartender, haveing a fairly fun time. Long story short we run up an impressive bill, we've both drinken god knows how much AND I have consumed some 95% alcohol VODKA. We still stumble to Karaoke, and by the time I get home I'm wasted! (in soo many ways)

Still I get up early the next morning (after 4 hours of sleep) and go off to meet Yamato and some other friends. Were going to hang out with some Japanese guys. It's nice but the day kinda wears on and we hang out way longer than any of us plans. It wouldve been nicer to cut it short and not be exausted and kinda relieved to go home. I get home aronud 11, despite the fact I had planned to be home at 6, and instantly pass out. It was nice, and pleasant but not all worth while. Oomori koen was cool and it was wierd we were all going to these date like places, but I dont think ANY of us had any chemistry going on so it was all kinda wierd. I also won like 100 of these candy things from UFO catch type machine (100 pieces of I dont think I really like it candy...)

So I sleep at maybe 1130 and get up at 10! And I'm still a bit tired, still I try to soldier on, I want to do laundry and cleaning. Instead matt rings up and asks to take him to the nittori (home store) and I agree since I have car. We stop off at the youme town to see if its a better selection and it seems a bit pricey, still we stop off for some food and I realize wow matt does get stared at..ALOT. After we realize the place is a bit expensive we head off to the nitori anyhow, driving around is not so bad. But we land up spending the vast majority of the day going here and there. And as I'm filling up gas to go home, a CRAZY kei car come hurtling my way down this TINY TINY road, barely fitting even my car let alone two. I realize quickly hes not going to stop AND hes going to hit me straight on, so I quickly pull to the side slam my rims into the side walk AND the kei car still almost rips my side windows off. It's no joke, Fukuoka drivers are some of the worst drivers in Japan. Very scary in-deed, I totaly regret taking the long way home to get myself more oriented on where I live (since I have LEGENDARY bad direction sense)

Get home, decide I really want to get a new battery charger so I can take pics of my students with the silly game I have. Realize I have no money and all ATM's in Japan close at 7 on Sunday(zOMG) even the konbini ones, so I pay for it via the credit card, and then have no money for food. And realize crap I was supposed to win some mini mouse doll for a student (I thought I had one but apperanlty I gave it away already...and already said I'd give it away..) And in the end with just 500 yen in the one machine that had mini goods, I failed...and had just 500 yen left, 300 of which I need to use to get home, so in that last try I get it! (I realize the reason why it was so hard to pull was because two dolls are stuck together and land up with two! wOOt)

Do some stuff like hang my laundry and then off to bed, and still I get up pretty giri due to freak morning cold. So cold my windows on my car were covered in a fairly thick layer of icey condensation. Go to my first class, a class I like but one that is affectionately known as "the zombie class", "the dead class", "funeral class" etc. So I thought theyd be jazzed with the first game we play, BUT NO! One of my fav students lands up in tears being picked to be the example, and for the rest of the class is just kinda spaced out in the corner! Every other class had a SUPER fun time, but this class is just too self concious and easily embaressed...ugh that felt crappy. Also I am getting fat and bloated (From too much alcohol me thinks) So overall a very mixed bag weekend. =/ so I end with, DOOM! DOOOM!....... doom.

TEACHING

2007-02-23T11:13:00.000+09:00

So I had another class after a two week break, the breaks are only about two weeks between my teaching and for once Ill have classes back to back to back..while that can be tough I'm happy about it.

Also though my lesson was kinda boring (more like I'm not spacing it well, it goes from super exciting students are laughing super enjoying it...to boring sentence work..) When I told class six, by far my worst first grade class (when the lesson got boring students started making obvious snoring noses, and a give a student more tape...so he could tape his face up and look dumb..) When i told them I'd have just one more lesson with them, one of them went EEEEEHHHHHH!!! Mou Owaruto? (What?! Its over already?!) So I was happy, thought they often seem to be the least enthused, they are sad to see me go.

Also one girl who is bar none the worst girl in the class, when I asked her her worst subject she actually said it wasnt english, it was science.... I feel sorry for her science teacher cuz man...shes a pain in English.

Well one more class (class 9) A SUPER awesome class, and then climbing mt. tenppaizan...yay. Hopefully it'll be fun and won't rain. I already planned it so I'd climb with class 3 girls. I like to alternate between classes, and sexes...since they walk in formations broken down to sex and class. Granted I've completely avoided some of my HORROR classes..and I think I've walked down with class 4 like 3 times >.< Oh well.

Well see how this goes, sometimes plans go awry and students just don't feel like stretching their English muscles.

I get my car insurance today w00t! Hopefully I can be driving it out safely by tomorrow, I totally want to hit costco on Sunday. Also yesterday was such a fail day, I spend like 5 hours talking to Charity on the phone! I think some of us get loopy with lack of English, I feel for her shes in the sticks. I'm happy I live in the suburbs and I'm happy I'm at my school w00t.

SCARY

2007-02-21T10:21:00.000+09:00

With all my excitement I forgot to talk about my weird dreams lately. Of late I've had quiet a few dreams where I'm not just dying..but the entire world is going to end. Usually via some sort of strange sun related DOOM. So its either getting freakishly hot, or somehow I know that some evil genius is playing god and messing up the universe.

I also usually die in these dreams, but of course its the type of death where I quickly and almost instantly just get back up or I body jump into someone else. Very very creepy. Whenever I have these, even when I get alot of sleep I just feel wiped out. In fact the day I overslept ALOT was after one of these dreams. It's really bad since these dreams are usually so engrossing I oversleep my alarm clocks. I overslept like half an hour today (even though all 3 of my alarms clocks were going off) thankfully since LATE DOOM day I've been getting up EXTRA early, so it wasn't much of a problem.

Also they say at my age I only need about 6 hours of sleep...but HELL NO! I am dead tired ALL the time without my 8 hours. I really love sleep and if I could I'd sleep 9 hours everyday. But work, laziness, etc, etc. As a note I am once again horribly bored at school, but with initiative to do anything since I'm rather tired and slightly disturbed from my dream. In my dream I was shot in the neck and somehow survived due to some chemical solution which grants super powers or something, but it was really freaky at some point I think my head was chopped off to end my misery before I body jumped to someone else to witness the end of the world....slightly disturbing.. I'm not sure what it all means. I don't believe in dreams being able to predict my personality or my future but I do believe these dreams have a link with some underlying worry with in me...to an extent. But these dreams, I really have to wonder what is up with it!

Could just be me though, a few years ago for no apparent reason (my life was rather nice, very worry free cruising through college, lots of friends, nice routine, period of my life) every day for almost a month I dreamt I was either dying, being murdered or chased by some psycho maniac. So maybe my psyche just likes to mix things up whenever things are going too good? Who knows, but if dreams are the only thing I need to worry about, the let it be so.

CAR!!!!!

2007-02-21T10:10:00.000+09:00

OK, So my car ROCKS!! Its kinda HUGE for Japan though. But man its a 1997 Laurel, which is basicly the upper end for Japan. Its either a 2 or 2.5 liter, so a bit of a gas guzzler but man is there power in that thing! I have to feather it all the way! But its so cool, it comes with basicly everything I need, it even has the minimum insurrance already tacked onto the car so I don't have to worry about getting arrested w00t! I still need second insurrance, so I can drive on Highways and not worry about you know have to pay out of the ass for an accident.

But, the link is basicly what the car looks like, but mine is SUPER CLEAN! I think my Kyoto (Vice Principle) Got the car service AND detailed, its so clean inside! Its just wow, the interior is nice, the outside is nice. Even though its a 1997, there is a cd player and cassette and the sound system is GREAT!

But...DRIVING man its scary. Everything is inverted even the turn signals (i.e. its on the left hand and up is left turn and down is a right turn) Very weird. I hit the windshield wipers alot! Also the car is large and the roads in Japan are PAINFULLY small. Its about the size of the TL so I have experience driving such a car (i.e. my older sisters) But roads here are so much different, and since the drivers side is the right I'm not used to having to assess how close I am to the left side. Also I'm not used to driving with just like 1 inch space from me and certain doom and accident. (Which everyone in Japan is)

On the bright side I can still reverse with the best of them! And my judgment skills arn't so bad (for a person with no depth perception what so ever) BUT directions...also alot of roads I'm used to taking on my Bike are just impossible (and illegal) to ride on in my car. So I hit quiet a few one way roads AND some pedestrian only roads...but I swear I've seen cars on some of those...strange...

Anyway once I buy a camera charger I'll post pics! The car is so PIMP, I debate sucking it up and paying the shakken(something we don't have in America but it's expensive) come September (But then I'll only be here for a year more =/) Well see when the time comes, its a REALLY nice car though. SQUEE FREE CAR! (I really need to give my Kyoto some happy bonus thank you money.) Since I think he actually had to pay to give me this car (paper work, extra insurance...yeah) once again w00t FREE CAR!

CAR and other misc.

2007-02-19T09:14:00.000+09:00

This weekend was NUTS!

On girls night out we landed up hitting some nice bars and got some over priced....not so good pizza =/ After though we looked for a hopping club, but in Japan since alot of people work on Saturday, Fridays are generally dead. We finally went to the dark room, and it was full of some gaijin guys (i.e. white people) There were 7 of us girls left, all from Hawaii. So it's kinda dead, the music isn't really dance music, but soon we start making requests and soon some of the girls start getting drunk! And before you know it the club is just insane. Some kokura Jets came down as well, and I guess since trips to the BIG city are rare they decided to go ape shit!

But it was all good at first, they were flirting up a storm and the guys there were happy to not be in a total penis fest. Soon we were getting free food, our drinks mysteriously got stronger..and the dancing started to get freak nasty o.0 Though actually the most insane couple was some random Japanese girl and a kinda ugly white guy, they were freaking all nite long, making out AND man for awhile I thought the girl was just gonna whip his thing out on the dance floor!

The end of the night wasn't so cool, and some people were a little too drunk. But in the end a fun night was had by all (I'm almost certain) So I look forward to next time! (Though all nite can be harsh after Friday work)

The next day was a totally waste, I thought I'd stay in as is DESPERATELY needed to do laundry, I was running out of desperation clothes. So I thought head to tenjin, maybe get a bite to eat and head back home for a quiet evening. But it seemed everyone was heading out to some a party n Chikugo (where this is I'm kinda unsure, but it is STICKSVILLE) The party was really mellow and I didn't drink much, we got there late and before we knew it, it was time to go. And we kinda had to RUSH to catch the last train.

For some reason someone wanted to get drunk...and I guess my reputation preceded me and so I was being offered straight swigs from a bottle of vodka. Normally when its drinking peer pressure via the "DO IT DO IT" method I'm pretty good at saying no. (Unless I actually do want to drink) But, it was just a polite offer so I decided to be polite and take up the offer o.0 After a swig or two I thought "OK, that's enough", since I assumed the nite was over. But some third party person suggested, KARAOKE! And I thought, well now there an occasion to drink to! So I start chugging along... then we get off the train and everyone else (even the person who first suggested it o.0) bails out. So its just me and one other person rather blasted standing in the rain, slightly unsure where to go. (At this point I'm still pretty good, having my wits about me, but as well all know 200% sober Kristen still means I'm a complete lose when it comes to directions) Well to make a long story short lots of alcohol late, sans Karaoke, alot of too loud music and drunken passed outness. And the next morning someone (being not me) is just shattered. The day is kinda a lose again as I get up late and kinda just am a bit tired. Also its freezing once again.

I get a really late start doing laundry from 4, but I wash my dishes, do three loads of wash, and get my bike from the station and cook a nutritious (for once) meal. Over all very productive but I'm dead tired by 9 and land up sleeping at 1045-11. I get up early but its SO COLD! I can get out of bed till 5 till 8! Then I rush as always to work.

But on my desk at the beginning of the day is...dun dun dun!!!! CAR KEYS! And an owners book, its all nice and neat! Yay so now I have a car! What a nice topper to the weekend. Though I have no insurance, and while its like a 5-10 min drive to my house I am kinda afraid to drive it. Since 1. I have not driven in 6 months. 2. There are a million students near my school, and 3. there is a GIANT major highway coming out of my school...so in the case of accidents and DOOM, I would like to be covered.... So driving may have to wait, but we'll see. I'm going to ask Andrea at the meeting about all this car stuff. And hopefully I will soon be ONE HAPPY CAMPER! Squee. Also note...no alcohol for like a week for me (maybe two). I am now a driver and will learn to appreciate oolong tea ^_^

BORED

2007-02-16T12:44:00.000+09:00

Not sure who other JETs manage NOT to go and make blogs EVERY DAY! Seriously I do nothing!!! Even when I BEG to do things...I do them rather quickly and then land up going NOTHING. I corrected all the first years tests (my section) it took like....an hour. w00t 360 tests in an hour good fun.

Anyway silly story, I can see why people dont blog everyday as some days why bother!

So I was dead tired last nite but resolved I NEEDED to do my laundry. Due to Japanese washing machines kinda sucking it takes like an hour to wash clothes, so i decided nap for an hour. Then get back up hang it up eat, shower then go to sleep YAY! No i nap from 6..to 12. And I'm stil groggy, I decide if I got up and then did all my crap id not go back to sleep till like 3 and seemingly get only 4 hours of sleep. So I intelligently (sleep deprived thinking does not work) decide that I shall sleep in till 4 and then GET BACK UP w00t so smart.

Of course I sleep in till 6, get up and go groan I'm never gonna get my clothes dry in time! So I decide I guess its suit day. My suit pants sadly had already been used 2-3 times (the UPPER limit of Kristen wearing) and were in the laundry pile. But it was alright I also have a matching skirt with this nice suit combo, and a nice collared shirt..which silver accents, a little gaudy but ok with a jacket.

I'd worn a skirt before and biked to school and while this skirt was a little shorter (on the knee vs past the knee, I thought eh cant be that bad) Actually another teacher is wearing a skirt basicly the same length.. but shes wearing pantyhose which I only have one pair of...with giant holes in them o.0 So I decide to wear my trusty long socks, and go downstairs and get my bike. As I'm getting on I realize there are problems...its hard to get on the bike for one. And when I sit down the skirt no longer sits on my knee..its sits above it. Its like an inch above but I think eh Fukuoka Nogyo girls wear their skirts this short all the time, I'm fine. Well their skirts are pleated and mine is not.. so as I'm biking I quickly realize..OMG my skirt is slowly (as in quickly) inching up my leg....

So i stand up, and I keep on standing up for the entire school ride. And as I pass students I think CRAP cane it! So they don't see how high my skirt is up my leg, as a note today is a bit chilly and I came to school with some damn cold knees. By the end I just got off my bike seeing as I had more than enough time to get to school. And that is the story of my skirt, and the silliness. I was kinda thinking OMG going home, but realize that the students have testing all day (which is why im ubber bored..) and most will have gone home by then. So I am generally safe, yay.

Also it is girls nite out, I have but one party dress...which was bought in Hawaii and is CLEARLY made for summer usage, but eh. I am a KAZE NO KO, and I think I'll survive the cold! Also I ate like maybe 500 calories worth of food and drink yesterday so I have magically lost like 4-5 lbs in 2 days. I also ate very little food on wendsday, but consumed probably more than my share of Alcoholic calories (but I ussually BURN through it like crazy, I think my body goes into OVERDRIVE when I drink)

I dirgress again, its 1 and I think most students have left for the day, and it's safe for me to leave the shokuinshitsu and go out to eat lunch YES! I am starved, and when I come back (it's basicly PC to take an hour to eat lunch during testing time) I will eat and be happy, YAY. Then Ill only have like another 2 hours till I can leave (blargh)

DOOM DOOM DOOOOOOM~ .....doom

2007-02-15T11:00:00.000+09:00

So I landed up going out with my predecessor's, predecessor's, predecessors...yes seemingly sounding like its a LONG time ago but really its was just 2 years ago. My predecessors had a bad habit of digging out early. So, we get to drinking with some san-nen sei teachers, i.e. teachers I never teach with. And I realize alot of things, this guy made friends because he wasnt on the internet. Because there was no internet, he went to TONS of clubs, AND even helped out Debate team at another school. Also I found out how he did lessons, and why he was well liked. He used Japanese! He was amazed my Japanese is better than his BUT I stand there and talk so slowly with student using any means needed to get them to understand my English. He put it simply, he HAD to teach the students, which do you like better cat and dog. And then had to FORCE them to discuss... even doing this he landed up using tons of Japanese... This is the level of the school. He said I was reaching for the stars trying to get them to use, CHOICES to make zOMG SKITS!

But I think I've made progress. He said he was not patient enough to deal with the explaining over and over in English. But my drawings, charades, hand motions of insanity are coming alone nicely. I think I will use Japanese, but bad Japanese sprinkled with some bad pronounciation. The students I can feel are getting better...at least at speaking. Their test scores still suck as I now realize I have to grade papers, with a headache from a combo of too much alchol and not enough sleep.

Thats right, I slept at 4 in the morning, STILL got up at 730 and made it to school. I also ran into a student with my bike due to bleary eyes tiredness, my fault. BUT the student didnt even apologize or check on how I was. What a bastard I'm totaly on the look out for him to get some serious ass spanking. I should've screamed out APOLOGIZE... but I'm certain he'd not understand. Thus the need for more Japanese...

Also I have a meeting soon, and I graded about 120 papers...w00t 250 more to go! Maybe I'll actually be doing something on my Zangyo! Ugh, what a horrible day, but a good nite. This guy was too insane, he was a super JET in some ways.. but in other ways...

I don't want to give up on my students, I feel..I KNOW they can make it! I do realize through grading their tests, they sometimes don't understand the meaning of what I am trying to get them to do. And I think in those times I need Japanese...diagrams go only so far =/.

ECC

2007-02-14T13:35:00.000+09:00

So apperantly none of the students remembered. I remined the teachers to tell the students but that kina failed. As a result bombarding them 5 seconds before it happened kinda did not work. In the end though like 12 students did come, but not for the reasons I thought. 4 came to give me chocolate..well one of them wanted to give me chocolate and 3 of her friends came with her. That resulted in some conversation, thought initially they were like NO ENGLISH, just chocolate, and I was like wait what?

Some girls from the class next door to this empty classroom who always go to that room were there and I talked to them and gave them chocolate. Thankfully with one of them, I have a good relationship (shes an awful students whos been really friendly ever since I told her she looks slim when she commented she was on a diet) So that was good I talked to them for a good 20 minutes before some other students showed up.

Then another girl came to give me some hand made chocolates, she was so cute. It was really like oh your here for english practice.........., and then she gave me the chocolate haha. And then I ran into more students who had made 7 stamps and wanted their prizes..that resulted in NO english talking. Though one of them was with spacey girl who I gave guitar tabs to on her birthday and I talked to her about that. So it wasnt a complete lose.

A BUNCH of lessons learned, 1 students need to be reminded DAILY of these things. They easily forget what I tell them...granted i admit I told them 2 weeks in advance so I can see how they forgot even with my posters. Cuz hell even I ignore those things. Also reminding teachers to tell them FAILS, they either didnt say anything or the students arnt listening. Also students wont come at lunch untill after they eat, which leaves like maybe 15 minutes to talk before they have class. So many lessons learned, I will persevere. But this time I'm going to make the club the WEEK after I have lessons AND I'm going to personally remind the students a few days before hand AND I'm going to make it afterschool.

In the end I think it went.....eh. Couldve been MUCH worse, with NO ONE showing up. I'm also happy I got candy, though BOO to all the students I expected candy from who didn't give me any! In the end 4 girls got LOTS of english practice, 2 got some, 5 got a little/and one basicly got none. 8 students got candy and I got 6 pieces (though two were from teachers...thus kinda not counting..)

So in the end though really most of the students just came to give me candy, I count them HAHA. So I count 5 students coming for the sake of English, cuz seeking me out = English practice. I'm also jazzed the four girls who happened to just be there when, I said I spoke a little Japanese from living there for 6 months and they STILL spoke to me in English. Yays, granted it could be just because they were used to it, by that point I had been speaking to them for 10 minutes. Also music so works, two girls (one of them a fav) said they LOVE American music, so I talked to them about it. I'll talk to this girl more often from now on. After school I'm thinking of harassing my favorite students like, WHY DIDNT YOU COME! In reality alot of them just didn't know so I wont fault them.

My predecessors, predecessors, predecessor is in Town and I'm wondering if i should go to his welcome party. I do have Japanese class, but that's not that fun. But the after part always is, its like hang out with my friends or show face at work... I think I'll go show face at work it makes me wonder how was this guy SOO well liked. His lessons seemed hard and he seemed strict with the students. But the teachers were different, the teachers he is close to are all third year teachers I don't teach with. And he even mentioned the first year teacher (the other two who hes never met) is kinda...iffy. And he seems to be rather distant from the second year teachers...so maybe that's it? Nah, its totally this internet/ PC damn you technology I don't talk to teachers because I am on here! Oh well. I think ill go...

BORED

2007-02-13T12:54:00.000+09:00

I was going to go and bug some students in my really good class and convince them to come to my English club. My desire for promotion has fallen so much. Its really awful when I have nothing to do I get really tired and discouraged. And then all my grand plans kinda fail to materialize. Its lunch when I was going to bug them but sadly I'm still sitting here! Argh, ok never mind. The thing that sucks is I feel really obliged to put make up on when I have to go see the students. In reality I don't HAVE to, but not wearing make up way back in the beginning of the school term students actually asked why I didn't, asking if i overslept etc. And getting caught outside of school (where I never wear make up) actually had them commenting about me not wearing it. Also when I walk the streets of Fukuoka people would kinda stare at me, and I thought do I have something on my face? Is my clothes weird? And then I realized "DUH! it's because I'm not wearing make up!" Its about as common to see a girl naked, than it is to see a girl wearing no make up. Thus, maybe I should just break down and go with the masses and wear it. BUT LAZINESS!!!! AND MONEY!!!! Make up is expensive..and that makes me sad. Also make up takes time, precious, precious sleep time which I love. So in the end, I'll run outside throw some make up on (semi badly) and then go bug class 9 only. Hah, I win....not really. Shit, I have so little time should I go? I should since a bunch of them actually used my question box...and I have yet to answer their questions. And I did say I'd give them BONUS stamps for asking me, so argh I'll go. Wear make-ups bear through the comments that the teachers make about why does she wear make-up only when she see's the students. I guess it is obvious I care more about what students think that what other teachers do. (Hey, bad relations with them just makes me bored in the shokuinshitsu, bad relations with the students makes me go ARGH and wanna stab my eyes out in class.....)

Odds and Ends

2007-02-12T21:08:00.000+09:00

Things I forgot and then remembered when I re-read my blog and thought, "Damn, I didnt write that in?!"

BUBBLE MAN II

The first night we got to Hiroshima we went randomly bumbling around and found a store selling nicknackes. And we found some BUBBLE MAN II, if you dont know what it is, its just about the best soda in the world. Its a can full of random engrish, homoerotic art AND it tastes like Melon soda SLAMMED into ramune. The best of two worlds in one ultra fizzy package, impossible? NAY! for there is BUBBLE MAN II. Granted I was going to get the bubble man (original in grape) pencil holder because it had this KANCHO (where you make your fist into a gun like shape and ram it up peoples butts) action along with this drinky cool part, but ugh 8sen for something I wont use..meh.

I kinda regret not getting it because the rest of the trip I just was looking EVERYWHERE for Bubble Man II, and alas while Hiroshima sells his goods it seems you can only find him in Hakata. Where I had to settle for bubble man the original. While I like grape nothing can compare to BUBBLE MAN II. So now I'm on the hunt for Bubble Man II everyone keep your eyes peeled!

Also I got my first professional massage, it was pretty good. The lady was blind and Shinnae got one as well from a blind woman. It seems they have the market for massages cornered and in the end it was nice that I contributed to their well fair. Its cool that they can find jobs that are well suited to them. But I feel bad since this society its not exactly open and I feel it would be impossible to try and excell in other jobs. Granted not that its easy even in America but at the very least possible...but in reality I think most languish in homes due to the fact very little attention wants to be payed to them. So its a give and take I suppose.

Well my water is finnally heated up! (took about an hour =/) so I best be off, work again tommorow....

HIROSHIMA: While its all fresh in my mind.

2007-02-12T20:38:00.000+09:00

So, I just got back from Hiroshima. It was a beautiful city but I noticed alot of things. First, Hiroshima is a very well planned city. The streets are surprisingly wide, and while there is no subway the streetcars has its own little charm. On the other hand keeping in mind the reason why the city had a chance to be planed so well was the A-bomb.

The A-bomb museum was horrifying to say the least. The pictures were not so shocking as I had seen many before. But the somber mood and the people surrounding me, as well as the layout that included not just the horrifying pictures but alot of information, background and true stories was numbing in scope. My number one complaint was the museum was so long it left you feeling rather empty and exhausted by the end of the exhibit.

But one such horror was the people there. There was a young girl probably around 13 (or in Japan terms 9-18) who was with her mom and younger sister, there were looking at a replica of Hiroshima the day before and the second after the bomb. The mom was explaining how in an instant the entire city was destroyed and probably all the people killed, she had her completely unenthused daughter go back to the full scale model of before and take a look to compare to the utter destruction that followed, and the young girl responded with a, hnnnnnn. It made me sad and a bit angry that the youth seemed so apathetic to it all. Like none of it concerned their lives, or perhaps her own trivial problems overshadowed this site. Granted I have no idea what was going on her in life, and maybe she was just having a bad day, maybe her mom got her up early and she wanted to sleep in and just could not be bothered... but that still does not excuse the total disregard to such a horrific lose of life.

But going on through the museum there were times when I just could not hold in the tears. But I am without a doubt a horribly proud person and fought terribly to keep them in check. But as I was walking through I ran across a young girl with her mother, she was silently crying, not bawling, but she was crying so hard she has a small towel pressed to her checks, hiding her eyes. I thought to myself, and latter reflected in the small note book of reflections at the end of the museum, that if more human beings in this world could hold such empathy to human life and the preciousness of each one, I am certain we would not live in such a horrifying world of cruelty and death.

Also I deeply regretted not getting a new camera battery and charger. I thought well I have a battery just not charger, so I will wait till I find just the charger because I dont want to shell out another 5 sen on both. I thought shinnae, yamato and Jon have their cameras so I should be fine. But, walking around the peace park I thought to myself, cameras and pictures are not so much about taking a picture as a keepsake, but the act of taking a picture is capturing a moment in time and framing it in your own mind. As if the action itself is more precious than the pictures that develop. I felt that taking a snap shop of the A-Bomb Dome, would've framed simply in my own mind what that experience meant for me, but as I was lacking a camera, all I could do was lament the missed opportunity.

With just 3 days I could not see all I wanted to, or all I thought I might want to. In reality I thought we were just going to snow board for two days but I was really happy we went just for one and sight seed the other day.

Snowboarding has also managed to come together for me. At first try I was awful once again and falling down left and right. I eventually chickened out and scooted on my edge the whole way down. But seeing Shinna be so afraid that she could only go down twice I decided to just screw it and cane it down. Granted even then I was a bit cautious I really managed to go down with some speed and felt the great rush. I'm still pretty weak on turning left (as I am going down goofy) but I think I'm getting the hang of it and I cant wait to go again.

Last but not least. The fashion in Hiroshima is totally different. Girls there do NOT wear skirts that go up their butts, and on cold days they do not bare their legs, they actually wear stockings! Gasp. And the bling bling Tommy, hiphop reggae fashion, does not exist. Its a rather generic but pleasant Japanese cute fashion. Interspersed with some funky fruits fashion. Shinnae and Yamato seemed to enjoy the change of pace, but I thought .....the girls in Hakata ARE MUCH better looking. Its no lie the girls in Hakata/kyushu area are MUCH MUCH better looking on the whole and average the the other places of Japan.

Coming off the train and running into an old man at least 50 wearing, bling bling Sean Jean all white track suit with gold accents really made me feel like, ahhh Fukuoka. And then going to Hawks Town and seeing these Sho 4-6 kids in their baggy, baggy track suits and over sized caps ahh, home. Hiroshima was a great place, beautiful city with so much history but in the end I love Fukuoka, slutty clothes, reggae music and all.

But as a consequence of no Hip Hop/Reggae scene or at least a weak one, we ran into some Para Paraing Center Guys. Black face, Silver hair, tight jeans and all... it was a scary scary site and I was amused. Sadly neither Yamato, John or shinnae had the temerity to take a picture..sadness. Overall I loved the trip, but next time I hope to drive none of this take the bus, which I once again got HORRIBLY car sick on. Hopefully I will be able to go again for snow boarding sightseeing and all that jazz.

teh awsome

2007-02-09T14:53:00.000+09:00

Hah! I just remembered I'm going snowboarding this weekend. Monday is a holiday so w00t long weekend, granted I overslept by ALOT on wendsday so I have been EXTREMELY reluctant to bring up the topic of free car to my Kyoto (Vice Principle) So no car on this SNOW BOARD trip, its only my second time but I am JAZZED. Since I cant bring my snow board on the charter bus, I'm going to rent. I spent about 300 on the whole shabang shabang (snowboard, boots, bag, bindings etc) And another 200 on clothes, (which is why I'm not completely rolling in the doll, per my previous post, RANDOM SPENDAGE) but it's sadly regular stance. I used to skateboard goofy but I'm not sure why I thought eh screw it why not be regular stance. Bad idea, first time out I often was riding down backwards since I'm used to goofy.

So hopefully this goofy rental will go good and YAY. Wendsday is Valentines day, and in Japan girls have to give guys crap. Plus they have a thing called giri choco were Im socially forced to buy shit for my male teachers.....errr.. But wends, is my first English Club day, I'm worried no one will come >.< Well see how this goes, hopefully someone will come and remember (cuz crap even I forgot!) I'll post again on monday and we'll see how this weekend goes. Its my first real trip around Japan. Granted I had been to hiroshima before, along with Yamaguchi to visit my somewhat relatives, but this time I think oppertunities for fun are abound, as I'm with friends! w00t!

,

College

2007-02-09T14:37:00.000+09:00

I'm not sure why but I RAN through college. Granted, I did minimal work and hardly attended classes, I managed to pass them all. And thanks to actually paying attention to the minimum graduation requirments and mapping it out ahead of time, like magic I was done in a flash. All great and good, right? Wrong, college was a ball I loved doing so little and just bumming around. I could go out everynight, sleep for 10 hours a day, and could live with my parents with the excuse, HEY It's college!

Granted now that I'm in the JET program now, so I'm not exactly living a real life job. I mean I havn't taught a class in a week, and before that class I hadn't taught a class in a month. I find myself wasting away surfing the internet and skyping. So, why not start a blog! I just troll on others anyhow!

Even with this "work", I still miss those days of going out till 3 am, on wends getting up at 12 then going to school not to actually go to class but just to bum around at the bar! Ahh what memories. My life was like a fantasy, somewhat like a retired person, hell exactly like a retired person but with my youth and vigor availiable to enjoy it!

Now, though I barely work I need to get up in the morning. And since I live alone I find myself having to do laundry, cook my own food, buy said food, then do the dishes. I guess its real life but man does it blow when its biking all the way and its dipping into negative territory and I'm too cheap to buy a better heating source that probably wont kill me in my sleep... Granted I get paid handsomly for my non-work, work. Over 30,000 a year...not including taxes, nor does that include my health insurrance AND my rent is HIGHLY subsidized I pay like 100 dollars a month for RENT! So I basicly shouldnt worry about spending a few bucks on clothes, and warmth but eh. I'm content..but man am I missing the old days!

Well I'll be back in Hawaii at the end of March with tales of COLD, SILLY Japanese students and random people and encounters. And at the very least I'm finnally growing up, because while college was fun and games, it's not something I could do for the rest of my life. Now if only I could find enjoyment in what I'm doing now....